Okay, so here's my Disneyland Report from yesterday, presented Jack Webb style with just the facts. I know it was initially promised last night, but there's a reason I didn't write when I got home. You'll see what it is at the end of the report. So, to paraphrase Peter Pan : "Are you ready everybody? Here we go"........
I left my apartment at 8:45 and arrived at Disneyland at 10:15. The traffic wasn't bad except for a slowdown on I5 in South Los Angeles that cost me maybe 20 minutes. But to be parked in the Mickey & Friends lot at that time was most excellent, as my goal had been to arrive by eleven. There wasn't even a line of cars in the payment lane, I just drove right up to the booth. So that was a shoot n' score to begin with. Parking at D-Land is 25 bucks, but I knew that beforehand. Spending some dough is part of the deal and I'm not complaining.
They don't have the trams running yet, so you've gotta walk from the lot to the front gates. It's about a half mile, maybe more. That was my warm up stroll for what would prove to be a marathon day. They send you through a quick metal detector check, and the ticket takers snap your picture before sending you through the turnstiles. Say "cheese" for Uncle Walt, and before you know it, you're inside The Happiest Place on Earth and standing in front of the famous flower marquee in front of the train station. I had a few minutes to kill because I was scheduled (pronounced shedge-yooled) to meet my sister at 11 am (we took separate cars). So I walked through the legendary stone archway that leads you to Main Street, and there I was, for the first time in almost 10 years, looking at the Disneyland Town Hall, the Fire Station and Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. There was a scattering of people, the day was early and attendance would increase later, but for now it was relatively quiet.
The first thing that struck me was that everything looked the same, which was just how I wanted it. Part of the magic of The Magic Kingdom is it's timelessness. They don't mess it up with constant changes, and in fact they do the opposite. As I've remarked in other blogs, there's comfort in tradition, and in remembering the past, and in harkening back to a simpler time. Walt Disney knew that, which is why he created Main Street. Well anyhow, to get back to the facts, I didn't have time to go on a ride, so I just walked around and took a few photos - got a great one of a horse-drawn trolley - then I walked into the Main Street Theater, where "Steamboat Willie" is always playing, in addition to other Mickey Mouse cartoons. It's a tradition of mine since about 2000 or so to begin the day with the Mouse who started it all, so I hung out and watched his Silly Symphonies, as they are known, until it was time to meet my sis.
The first thing we did was head straight for the Jungle Cruise. It has just reopened after some changes to eliminate what was perceived as racial and/or cultural insensitivity. I just got done saying that they don't change things at Disneyland, but with Jungle Cruise they did, and in this case I suppose it was justified. If you know the ride, they used to show some African natives (pygmies) being chased up a pole by a rhinoceros. They also had a headhunter named Trader Sam who sold shrunken heads. These scenes were deemed improper for today's audiences and that's fine. Trader Sam is gone and the pygmies have been replaced by a safari group. The good news is that the ride is still awesome and still features the black humor of the boat captains, who maintain their cutting edge.
After Jungle Cruise, we walked straight over to Indiana Jones, in order to ride before the line got too long, which it always does as the day progresses. I've waited an hour for Indy in the past; this time our wait was only 20 minutes. As always, it's one of the most impressive attractions in the park. Following Indiana, we went to the Haunted Mansion. I was hoping they'd still have one hold-over from the pandemic. Right after Disneyland re-opened in April, social distancing protocols were still in place. The six foot rule was in effect and lines extended out into walkway areas as a result. To corral the line at Haunted Mansion, they were letting people in through a side door, which allowed a view of the interior never seen by park guests. That's what I was hoping, that we'd get to enter through that door, but the protocols are gone and the line was short. They let us in the regular way, but that was fine. Soon the walls were stretching and the body was hanging from the cupola. As you know, there's only one way outta there : the host's way (hahahahahahahahahaha!). Man, he's one evil dude. A few new effects have been added to the Haunted Mansion, just minor details but you'll notice 'em when you go, and again it was awesome as always. "Hurry ba-aack.....hurry baa-ack", says the scary small lady as you exit up the moving ramp.
Another re-vamped ride was "Snow White", which we went on next. Newspaper reports played this one up big, and I was worried that it was gonna be "woked" into insignificance. They deemed the witch holding the apple to be too scary for the little children of today, so they removed her. Woke reporters cheered, and in one article I read, some nitwit also disapproved of Prince Charming's kiss, decrying it as "non-consensual". I was worried the ride would be ruined, but I'm happy to report it hasn't been. Not only is The Kiss intact, but The Witch lives on too! Yes, the one that terrified the toddlers of my generation is gone (the one at the end), but she's still there in two other places earlier in the ride, so "take that"!, Wokesters, haha. The Ugly Witch is alive and well, and the added colors in the ride make it more beautiful than ever.
I have one more Woke reference to report on and then I'll shut up. I wanted to ride Splash Mountain and hoped that it wasn't closed down yet. As you probably know, they're gonna shut it because Uncle Remus is seen as a stereotype, and because "Song of the South" is considered a racist movie. That infuriates me no end, because I loved the Uncle Remus stories as a kid, and I also love "Song". It was Walt Disney's favorite of all the films he made, and if you think it's racist, you oughtta have your head examined, and your heart too. I think it's the opposite; one of the most beautiful, uplifting movies of all time. Check the final image in the film for proof. Well as promised, I'll shut up, but I'm happy to report that - for the time being - you can still ride Splash Mountain, and see B'rer Rabbit and all his friends, and you can still sing Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah just before you free fall 50 feet into the water. Don't forget to make a face before you plunge; your picture will be waiting for you at the exit, post ride.
Oh man, it's getting late and the blog's getting long, I'd better cut to the chase with the rides. We were trying to pound as many as possible, being as it was our first time at the park in a long while. So we went on Pirates, we went on Small World, we went on the Storybook Land Canal Boats, we went on the Matterhorn. That one was especially jarring. Vickie thinks they've sped it up since the old days. I dunno, but it rocks ya even more than the other coaster-type rides at D-Land. All of a sudden, The Abominable Snowman is in your face, then you're slamming against the rails in the other direction as you fly around a turn. It's still a blast and the line was just 15 minutes. We had good luck all day in that respect.
Let's see, we did Mr. Toad, then Pinocchio, then back to Frontierland for Big Thunder Railroad. That's one of our favorites. Vickie always screams her head off. I still call it The Mine Train, it's name in the 60s and 70s. Then all of a sudden it was 7pm. Vick planned to leave at that hour, which was why we took separate cars. I walked with her back down Main Street to the entrance/exit gates, then I was on my own at Disneyland, something I've never experienced. I wanted to stay til closing (10pm), so I was gonna be alone for three hours, or four if you count the extra hour they give you to shop and clear out of the park. I wanted to ride some of the attractions we missed, so I went first to Space Mountain, which Vickie never goes on. Too extreme for her but I love it (I won't do Magic Mountain type Super Roller Coasters, though). That was my longest line of the day, about 35 minutes. I went back to Fantasyland, my favorite land in the park, to hit Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan, which was also about a half hour wait. I doubled up on Haunted Mansion and Snow White, and Big Thunder, too, all of which I just walked up and rode. There were virtually no lines by 9pm.
I asked about fireworks. "They'll begin at 9:30", said a Cast Member. That's what they call their employees. The fireworks show was incredible as always, accompanied by an animated extravaganza called "Mickey's Mix Magic", filled with lasers, lights and music. This is projected against the Sleeping Beauty Castle as the fireworks bloom in the background. It was a wonderful way to close out the night. But wait! I wasn't done yet - it was only 9:50. I still had ten minutes. I tried for a second ride on Mr. Toad's and I made it. Then I hustled over to Space Mountain for one last repeat.........but the chain was pulled over the entryway. "It's closed, sorry", said the Cast Member. My riding day was over, but I still had an hour to browse Main Street.
It's traditional to buy a pin whenever you visit Disneyland. I've got about seven, been collecting 'em since 2005. I went into the Emporium, but it was jam packed with customers. As I mentioned, they give you an extra hour to shop, and many folks wait until closing time. So I decided to return when the cashier's line was shorter, and I went back to the Main Street Cinema to watch Steamboat Willie again. As I began the day, so I'd finish. It gave me a chance to rest my feet, too. I'd been standing or walking most of the time for 11 hours. Good thing I like to hike, but I was tired. Finally, at 10:30, the Emporium crowd had thinned out. I browsed the pins until I found a perfect one.
You guessed it : Steamboat Willie. A classic depiction of The Mouse in his original form. With him in my possession, I walked back through the legendary stone archway. Then I was through the exit and on my way back to the car. It was another half mile to the Mickey & Friends parking garage, and maybe more. I don't know how many miles I put in overall, but it had to be at least five, my daily average. My car was easy to find, one of the last in it's row and sitting in plain view. I drove out of Disneyland exhausted but elated after a 12 hour day and nineteen rides (15 plus four doubles). That place does something to you that cannot be described except to call it magic. It really is The Happiest Place on Earth and I had a blast. It was one of my best trips ever to Disneyland, but wait!...........
I still had one more ride to go on. I'll tell you about it briefly, cause I don't want it to reflect on the day, which was wonderful and as great as I'd hoped for. But what I'm talking about was my ride home, on Interstate 5. I left Disneyland at 11pm and figured I'd be home by midnight. Instead, it took twice that long - two full hours, because some genius decided to close down the freeway. Yep. First there was a slowdown around Buena Park because of some bridge work. That took about twenty minutes and was a bummer, but once we got past it we were crusin' and I figured "no problem, make it 12:20 for my ETA". I was sailing along until Glendale, and then........suddenly........there were those friggin' arrows again. The ones that flash, to direct you to move over. They were closing down several lanes once again.
This time it wasn't just a slowdown. I5 turned into a parking lot. And I could see the river of red brake lights stretching forward for a mile at least. "Oh joy", I thought. As we barely crawled along, I tried to Zen Out, using my Disneyland Day as a focus. And it worked pretty well, considering the situation. Finally after 40 minutes we'd been merged into just one lane, and a sign appeared : "Freeway Closed". A police car was parked behind a row of orange cones, and that was it. Freeway Closed. The single lane of cars was led to an off ramp by another row of cones, and I had to exit at Olive Avenue in Burbank, an unfamiliar area. Thank you, Freeway Genius. Shouldn't there be some notification, like maybe a headline, if they're gonna close a freakin' freeway in the middle of the doggone night?
Long story short, I had to pick my way home from Burbank using only surface streets. There is no grid system there, roads curve and slant and you don't know which direction you're going. Luckily there was an 18 wheeler in front of me. He'd been forced off the freeway too. "I'll follow him", I figured. "If there's anyone who knows what he's doing in this situation, it's gonna be a truck driver". That tactic worked, and got me to Victory and Cauhenga. From there I got home on my own. "It was my final ride at Disneyland", I laughed to myself as I pulled into my apartment parking space. That's sacrilege, I know. Walt Disney would never create anything so unmagical. But I needed some black humor to restore my good spirits, and I walked up to my pad feeling fine. Anyhow, that's the reason I didn't write this report last night. It was one a.m. when I got home and all I wanted to do was relax after the I5 debacle.
But it was one awesome day at The Land of Mr. Disney, and I won't wait ten years to go back. In fact, I'm sure I'll return very soon. If you're thinking of going yourself, now's a great time while there are still some capacity limits. It did get pretty full later on in the day, but nowhere near the elbow-room-only crowds I've seen in past Summer visits. My guess is that they're up to 50% capacity, maybe 65. As I say, we barely had to wait for most rides, and even the worst line was only 35 minutes. One last note : you may be wondering about Star Wars. They have a virtual queue to get on the new rides, and neither Vickie or I have the Disneyland App. For myself, I've never had anything but a Flip Phone, and I'm still learning to work my new Nokia. I've never downloaded an app before, so Star Wars will have to wait until next time. We did walk through Star Wars Land, however, and it was huge (pronounced Yooge), and as Mega as you can imagine. So again - go. You know how to do Apps, so you'll probably get on those rides for sure.
I give Disneyland Two Gigantic Thumbs Up and highly recommend it. In the next blog we'll return to the movies. /////
That's all I know for now. Hope you had a great day. I send you Tons of Love, as always.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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