For the time being I suppose this is more of a diary than a typical movie blog. I hope you don't mind. Writing about my day will help me get through this difficult period. I've been experiencing some profound emotions and also what you might call a stream-of-consciousness of memories, of all the things Pearl and I did for the past 12 years (it was actually eleven and a half but it's easier to say twelve). That stream has a will of it's own, your mind races when a loved one dies, and you become removed from the logical order of an ordinary day and feel as if you've been put in a mixing bowl of grief, anxiety and disorientation.
I'm really tired right now. My world has been upended. I've lost my best friend, my second family, and my livelihood all in one. I've also lost my second home, in the Reseda neighborhood I was born in, a neighborhood I've come to feel at peace in, far more than in the Northridge of 2021 (a hectic place nowdays, better suited for young people). I mean, don't get me wrong - I love Northridge and always will, and it still retains a lot of it's old time charm. But it's populated by millions of CSUN students, each with their own high powered car. Everyone's revved-up to the maxx on highly caffeinated beverages, gadget mentality, video screen lock-on, and the resultant Constant Tailgating. Life in Northridge, once you get out on the street, is Somebody On Your Ass At Every Turn. When I drive here, I wish I were out in the desert.
I've come to prefer Reseda over Northridge. Especially my old neighborhood, which is where Pearl lived for 68 years in the same house. It's peaceful there, and at 61, I just want to live in peace. I'm not an old geezer, but neither do I want to live amongst aggroed-out noise merchants whose whole life is tailgating.
So yeah, I'm struggling, because all of a sudden I've lost all of that, and especially my best friend Pearl, and it might be hard for non-caregivers to understand how close you can feel to a person you are caring for. There are links you can Google if you want to read about it. I'm destroyed right now, and I was absolutely unprepared for how devastating this was gonna be, and how that emotional devastation controls you. It dictates your day from the moment you wake up. I'm sitting in my tiny box of an apartment, which was only my clubhouse for the past dozen years, because I basically worked and lived at Pearl's house. But now I'm back here with nowhere to go, no routine to follow, no partner to care for and spend the day with, and it's scary. I know I'm gonna have to get out of this building, and soon or it'll kill me. So yeah, the mind races with all of this stuff, when you lose your whole life at once. I feel like I've been ripped to shreds. Sorry for the depression, but I've always tried to be honest with you.
I do have a movie, however, and I'll just give you a basic description.
Last night I found a futuristic Sci-Fi from 1932, written by Curt Siodmak, called "The Secret of F.P. 1". A naval engineer has designed a giant, floating platform (the "FP" of the title) to be used in the mid-Atlantic as a landing and refueling strip for airlines. Keep in mind that transatlantic flight had only been accomplished five years earlier by Charles Lindbergh, and was at this point anything but routine. The engineer enlists a test pilot (Conrad Viedt) to help win funding for the project, and Viedt. a dashing daredevil, wins the heart of the construction magnate's daughter. Not everyone wants the floating platform to be built however, and when it is, inevitably someone tries to sink it.
The film makes excellent use of models, the design is art deco, like "Things to Come". F.P. 1 is a floating city, like a seaborne version of SoFi stadium.
The direction is a little staid, which makes the rollout of the plot a bit stiff and lumbering, but there's more than enough thrills to go around, and Veidt gives an eccentric semi-villainous performance as the tempestuous pilot.
I loved "The Secret of F.P.1" despite it's early 30s faults, which lie mainly in the rote recitation of some of the dialogue.
The print looks brand new. the movie was shot simultaneously in three separate languages, which may have small plot differences between them according to Wiki. You can't beat Conrad Veidt in a role like this, however, and for an early and very different kind of Sci-Fi, "F.P.1" is terrific.
Two Big Thumbs up. Hooray for Curt Siodmak and Reseda! ////
I've just finished Joel Selvin's excellent and thoroughly researched book about the Altamont concert, and I've started Cynthia Lennon's "John" in it's wake. Just rock 'n' roll stuff for now, easy to digest page turners that help pass the time. In the past sixteen years, I've dealt with a lot of death, of both my parents, a whole host of my friends, and now Pearl, who I just spent one fifth of my life with.
It's been really hard, but with some magic I'll make it.
Thanks for reading. I send you Tons of Love as always. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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