Last night we were looking for something from Hammer Horror, because it isn't Halloween unless you're Hammered. But we were hoping for a movie we hadn't seen, and most of the Hammer films are pay-per-view. "Not gunna doo-it," as President Bush would say, because it obviously wouldn't have been prudent. Then a recommendation popped up for "Frankenstein Created Woman" (1967), which was free. It sounded like a Roger Vadim title, and because of the release year, we thought it might be cheesy: blood and bazooms and bouffants. But then we saw the long list of rave reviews on IMDB, and a "trivia" note that said it was one of Scorsese's favorite films. That, and the fact that it starred Peter Cushing, was ultimately the decider. And it turned out to be a minor classic.
We knew it was gonna be good when it opened with a beheading, in a field, on a five-story guillotine. The prisoner is a drunken murderer who tries to laugh off what's coming, until he sees his little son looking on from the bushes. (Stay! Out! Da Bushes!)
The last-rites priest tries running the boy off, but he still sees his Dad lose his head. Into the basket it goes. Nobody does English countryside guillotinings like director Terence Fisher, Hammer's go-to guy.
Cut to 15 years later. The boy, named "Hans" (Robert Morris), now a young man, works for "Baron Von Frankenstein" (Cushing) in his secret lab, which is fronted by a doctor's office. When we meet him, "Doctor Hertz" (Thorley Walters) is cryogenically freezing the Baron, but we don't know why just yet. We assume it's because he's dead, and in a way, he is! But we learn that they're running an experiment (which I'll let you see for yourself) and when it's over, and successful, they want to celebrate with a bottle of champagne. Dr. Hertz sends Hans down to the corner Inn to fetch it, and this is where the plot takes it's turn.
While Hans dickers with the "Landlord" (as the Innkeeper is called), who doesn't like Hans because he's always sniffing around his daughter, three young Dandies walk in, demanding wine, throwing their "class weight" around. "You don't want to lose your liquor licence, do you landlord?" They remind one of Droogs, but dressed in fancy duds instead of white jumpsuits. Worse, they demand to have the Landlord's daughter Christina serve the wine so they can mock her, as she's afflicted with polio and can hardly walk. Hans tries to defend her, and ends up beating the three to a pulp. But when they return later that night and murder the Landlord while looking for Hans and Christina (Susan Denberg), Hans gets blamed for the murder by the police, due to his earlier assault. He goes to trial and gets sentenced to the guillotine. "Like father, like son!" says the prosecutor. The next morning, just as Hans is losing his head, Christina rides past the site in a carriage on her way to the doctor. She sees Hans' head get chopped off, then runs to a bridge and drowns herself in the river.
Now, Baron Von Frankenstein, being a enterprising man, sees opportunity in all this tragedy. He's renowned as a genius by Doctor Hertz, even though he's extremely arrogant. Neil deGrasse Tyson would seem a piker in comparison. The baron is a physicist, linguist, MD, biologist and astronomer. He hasn't time for testifying at trials, or being hassled by the cops, and he makes this well known to the authorities. "I must be allowed to get on with my work!" "Why, Baron? What are you doing that's so important?" Well, he's discovered, through his freezing process, that the soul remains alive in a dead body. Think of a bubble in a block of ice. He's now going to use the soul of Hans (whose body he's stolen from the coroner) and put it into the body of the drowned Christina. While he's at it, he surgically repairs her disfigured face and crippled legs, and when she wakes up 94 days later, she's beautiful and can walk normally.
But she has Hans's soul, and he wants revenge for being wrongly executed. He now commands Christina's body to seduce and brutally kill the three Dandies who actually murdered her father. This is hard core stuff, combining cryogenics, exhumations, headless bodies, resuscitation, and a murder trail, and, a bit of the old ultraviolence from the extended Droog scenes. Actor Peter Blythe as lead Dandy "Anton" is especially effective. The sole problem is that, while the story is pure horror, it's lacking a monster. I probably shouldn't have told you that, but I'm sparing you the expectation of the headless Hans busting out of his coffin to kill his tormentors, which we hope for but does not happen. However, his severed head does play a key role. The scares are more in the implications of things, rather than in the the, um....execution? (see what I did there?)
It unfolds like a play, in separate acts. It's got all the Hammer earth tones we love, from 19th century England, and has the Shakepearean actors to pull it off. Two Huge Thumbs Up for "Frankenstein Created Woman". The picture is soft but watchable. ////
Now then, we don't usually "do" Italian horror, or anything Italian when it comes to genre productions. Spaghetti Westerns, Giallo Horror, Amer-Italian comedies where the dubbing is always overloud and in Brooklynese? Forget it. For Italian horror, give me "Suspiria" or give me death (no, not really death, I'm only kidding). But you know what I mean. I just don't go for dubbed Italian movies, and especially horror. But I'd heard of Mario Bava, (had even seen his "Kill, Baby, Kill", which was good-but-not-great), and the previous night I got a recommendation for "Black Sunday"(1960) aka "The Mask of Satan". All the IMDBers were giving it a 9 or 10. "An atmospheric masterpiece" was the consensus, and it starred Barbara Steele, so I figured what the heck. With a title like that it was worth a shot. Steele plays "Katia Vajda", the descendant of Princess Asa (also Steele), who 200 years earlier, was forced to wear the Mask of Satan after being convicted of witchcraft. The mask kills it's wearer by plunging spikes through his or her face. Aja's husband, Prince Vajda, was also killed in this way. Both were then buried with a cross hanging over their coffins to keep Satan from raising them from the dead.
But as fate would have it (and fate always has it, doesn't fate?) "Dr. Choma Kruvajan" (Andrea Checci), and his protege "Dr. Gorobec" (John Richardson) are traveling by coach to an educational conference. In these overland night scenes, Bava is as good at Gothic art direction as James Whale, or George Waggner in "The Wolf Man." Their driver doesn't want to take the shortcut because of the ghosts at the cemetery, but he's getting paid, so he has no choice. Naturally, they hit a rut and a wheel falls off their carriage. While the driver repairs it, the two doctors wander over to an ancient, open crypt, long neglected. Inside, they see a coffin atop a tomb. Dr. Kruvajan observes The Mask of Satan on the face of the deceased and explains it's significance to Dr. Gorobec. But he accidentally jabs his hand on a protruding shard of metal. Blood drips from his fingers into the eyeless socket of the 200 year-old witch, and she slowly begins to reanimate.
She wants revenge on the family who put her to death, so she fixates on her descendant Katia, who looks exactly like her. She also breaks her long dead husband out of the ground in a spectacular scene of upheaval. Asa needs his muscle, and though he's a brute, if he weren't undead he'd be playing keyboards in a progressive rock band.
At the Inn, Dr. Kruvajan has disappeared. psychically summoned back to the crypt. Princess Asa has had a taste of his blood; now she needs all of it to come alive. Kruvajan becomes her zombie henchman, which leaves Dr. Gorobec to investigate. He enlists Katia's brother "Constantine" (Enrico Oliveri), and the duo battle the demonic Princess.
The movie is not all that scary, mainly due to lack of suspense. Bava isn't going for that kind of camerawork or pacing (or maybe he didn't have the technique). His camera is static, though he does use zoom, but his staging and art direction are a Ten on every level. It's almost like an Art Film. The black and white photography is incredible, as are the sets. Barbara Steele is one of the great scream queens. It's reminiscent of Mexican horror, which is also culturally-based. and doesn't rely on the jump-scares of American horror. You could even call it Catholic horror, as it comes from Italy and is all about saving souls and resisting Satan. So, yeah: a ten on every level except the scariness.
And since we're almost at Halloween, the question must be asked: is there anything scarier than a witch? I think not. I mean, we've talked about this before, but think of childhood imagery: what scared kids more than The Wicked Witch of the West? Or the Snow White Witch at Disneyland? I was in YMCA camp in the summer of 1968, and we had sleepovers at Chatsworth Park. The kids slept overnight on the lawn with their counselors, who were only 17-20 years old themselves. It was also the summer when The Manson Family was living just over the hillside at Spahn Ranch, though no one had heard of them yet. But one night, we had a hot-dog and marshmallow cookout, and the counselors told scary stories, two of which I've never forgotten: one was about a man with a bee's head who lived in the hills off Topanga Canyon. The other was about a couple who ran out of gas while driving through the Mojave desert. and a witch found their car in the middle of the night, and started scratching on the windows. The story then got scarier and scarier with the couple trapped inside their car, and I'm telling you - even if I heard these two stories today they would scar me for life....but this was when I was 8 years old. So yeah, I vote Witch for the Scariest Thing in the World.
There's just something about witches. The cackling, the black hat, the cauldron, the long nails. The pointy nose. Me and the late, great Mike Bellamy once stayed up late on a sleepover to watch "Burn Witch Burn". We were still talking about it 45 years later. So yeah, as we've said, They Didn't Burn 'Em At The Stake for Nothing. Let's be grateful for the Witchfinder General. Two Huge Thumbs Up for Mario Bava's "Black Sunday". It's a must see for it's look, and, as always, for Barbara Steele. The picture is razor sharp. ////
And that's all for now. My blogging music is Klaus Schulze "Timewind", my late night is Wagner Lohengrin. I wish you a Happy Halloween and I send you Tons of Love as always.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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