"They Saved Hitler's Brain" (godawful)

This blog was begun Sunday night April 12th, and completed the following day :

Well folks, I'm sorry to report that tonight we reached the bottom of the barrel, the absolute nadir of our collective viewing experience. Against my better judgement I selected a film entitled "They Saved Hitler's Brain" (1963/1968), and yes, you read the double dates correctly. This is the first time I've ever had to list two different years of release for a picture, and that's because "TSHB" is so bad that it's two godawful movies in one. I don't even know if I have the energy to explain at this point, but I'll try : in 1963, some genius made a movie called "The Madmen of Mandoras", in which some leftover Nazis have absconded with Hitler's head (not his brain) at the end of WW2 and have set up shop in South America, where 18 years later, they now have the technology to bring him back to life. It's not clear whether they intend to install him on another body, but what's more important is that either way, he'll be calling the shots once again, and so the future of the Reich is looking rosy. Now all they need is the formula for a new poison gas, even more deadly than Zyklon-B, that has been invented by one "Professor Coleman" out in Reseda in the San Fernando Valley, and no, I am not kidding about the location. I should clarify that in the movie, the search for Coleman looked to me like it was shot somewhere else, maybe Encino or North Hollywood, but the line of dialogue did specify "Reseda", so I feel the need to mention it because Reseda is pretty cool.

Too bad the movie isn't.

But back to my attempted explanation : At some point after it's theatrical release, "The Madmen of Mandoras" was sold to television, but it's 74 minute running time was too short to fill out the airtime of a typical "Friday Night Horror" program, so whomever was in charge of the situation prevailed upon the film's director to go back and shoot an additional 18 minutes of footage, which he did, with the help of some UCLA students. Now, from the looks of said footage, he did not have the use of a professional cinematographer, whereas the original movie was shot by Stanley Cortez, who photographed some fairly big name films, including "The Magnificent Ambersons" (and how Cortez went from that masterpiece to "Madmen of Mandoras" is one of the Great Mysteries of Cinema). So the incongruity between the opening scenes in what is now called "They Saved Hitler's Brain", and the rest of the film, is obvious. Anyhow, let me backtrack a little bit.....

So the director, with the help of the UCLA students, went back and shot 18 more minutes and edited it together with his original film, "The Madmen of Mandoras". Now it was long enough to be shown on television, and someone had a brilliant idea. Being that it was going to be featured on Elvira-style hosted horror programs, it's original title wasn't gonna cut it. It sounded too ambiguous, perhaps even too ethnic. They needed something that would stand out, that would go for the throat. Brain movies were big in the 1950s and early 60s, so the brilliant idea was to take Hitler, who was a main character in "Mandoras", and exchange his head for the word "Brain". And voila! Right there you've got one of the most out-regis titles in motion picture history, encapsulating the World's Worst Bad Guy and the word Brain all in one statement : "They Saved Hitler's Brain".

Prospective viewers : "They did? My goodness, I wasn't aware of that! I'd better tune in and find out why"!

So, even though there is no actual Brain in the movie, no one is gonna know until it's too late (and to be fair, there is a Head, so I suppose they could say "Well, his Brain was inside his Head, so technically they did indeed save it).

I think I'm losing my sanity trying to explain all of this, but in the name of thoroughness I'll carry on.

With it's added footage and new title, "They Saved Hitler's Brain" was premiered on television in 1968, which is why you have the double release dates, However, when I unfortunately selected this film on Youtube tonight, I was under the impression it was made in 1963, as that was the only date listed by the uploader. Therefore, when the movie started, I was looking at the male character's collar length hair, cut in a Tony Orlando shag, and the female's mini-skirt, and I was thinking, "wait a minute.....nobody had hair that long in 1963, not to mention a bushy moustache. And girls' dresses were still to the knee. What's going on here"? The chick also had long, natural hair - unstyled - whereas in 1963 it would likely have been piled up in a Beehive. Believe me, I was puzzled, but the couple (who were playing CIA agents) drove an old Ford that was circa 1963, so I let the matter go.

"Hmmm.......maybe the UCLA students were ahead of their time, fashion-wise".

And, they were searching for "Professor Coleman" in Reseda, or so they said. That kept me intrigued for several minutes as I tried to make out recognisable locations, but I was unsuccessful as noted above, and soon, these Mod-looking characters were gone, shot dead by two guys in a black Lincoln Continental who looked exactly like Jake and Elwood Blues. I've got to jump in here to ask once again, "Is it possible that future directors saw some of these movies and were influenced by them"? I mean, last night we had two very similar Star Trek-like scenes in "The Phantom Planet", and tonight in "Hitler's Brain" we've got The Blues Brothers acting as South American assassins. I can picture young Spielberg watching at home, taking notes....

But anyway, yeah......the 1968 characters are killed off by Jake and Elwood, and then that's apparently the end of the additional footage, because all of a sudden we cut to an office at CIA Headquarters (called "CIS" in the movie), where a new agent is set to take over the investigation. This new guy looks straight out of 1963, as do all the Pentagon types in the room, and the photography looks more professional, so this must be where the original movie began. The hunt is still on for Professor Coleman, the only living scientist with an antidote to the deadly new poison gas the surviving Nazis are after. CIA spies have ascertained their continuing existence in a South American hideout (i.e. Mandoras, which suspiciously resembles Beverly Hills). They know the Nazis are trying to get their hands on the gas formula, and suspect they may have kidnapped Coleman, but they have no idea the SS had removed Hitler's head after the war, and had preserved it cryogenically all this time. That part they won't find out until the last half hour of the movie, and if you can make it until that point, you might find the last few minutes enjoyable, or laughable, but the key word here is "might". Speaking for myself, I was on the ropes, a victim of Bad Movie Fatigue that began early on, when I couldn't find any of the promised "Reseda" locations. My condition worsened as the script grew ever more muddled with scene after scene of indecipherable cloak-and-dagger skulduggery. I had no idea who was after whom, other than the elusive "Professor Coleman", and I really didn't care, so lousy was the storytelling.

About halfway through, it became clear that this was in no way a science fiction film. Instead, it was closer to an action/adventure, although I can't really say it was "close" to anything - certainly not coherancy. But it's wasn't a sci-fi, it wasn't a horror movie, and it wasn't even a "Good" Bad Movie. I mean, you can do anything but don't step on my Blue Suede Shoes, am I right? Make a great movie, make a terrible one........but don't bore me. Ed Wood knew that was the one no-no for even the most unskilled director, and compared to "They Saved Hitler's Brain", his "Plan 9" looks like a masterwork worthy of a spot in the National Film Register.

Now, in all honesty I should admit that we were probably gonna watch this movie sooner or later. I was long aware of it's existence, and likely so were you. I mean, no one could miss that title, and I probably heard it when I was still in my teens, and maybe younger. On a side note, the prints were done by General Film Laboratories, where my Dad was Vice President in the early 1960s, so if the credit that runs beforehand refers to the 1963 version, then Dad was at General when the original movie was developed. Still, it wasn't retitled until 1968, so I suppose the point is moot, and so am I at this point.

Moot, that is. I am moot, after spending so much of my time reviewing this movie....or trying to.

In hindsight, I should've done some research prior to choosing this poor excuse for a flick. The IMDB rating of 2.5 would've given me an indication of what not to expect, which was "anything resembling a good movie". Actually, that may be the lowest rating of any film we've seen (pretty sure it is), and believe me, this movie lives down to it. Some have called it "The Worst Movie Ever Made" - you can check for yourself if you don't believe me. Read the Wikipedia entry. But please, please don't watch it in an effort to find out. I can't be held responsible for the brain damage you will suffer as a result. As for me, I'm gonna shuffle off now and try to protect the handful of brain cells I still have remaining....

As someone remarked : "They Saved Hitler's Brain" but they shouldn't have saved this movie". No amount of Thumbs, set even at the depths of the Marianas Trench, could suffice.  /////


See you later tonight at the Usual Time, lol.

Tons of love.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)