Okay, you've seen "They Saved Hitler's Brain", but have you ever heard of "Hitler - Dead or Alive"? I had not, but that 1942 release is just as wacky, and it seems that an effective way to deal with Hitler, at least cinematically, was to make him a buffoon. Witness Mel Brooks comedic Nazis. At any rate, in the movie, a wealthy industrialist named "Samuel Thornton" (Russell Hicks) has put out a bounty on Der Fuhrer's head, one million bucks, dead or alive. "That's nice in theory", says his Army General friend, "but who's gonna take you up on it? If we in the military can't get close to him, how will anyone else?"
But he hasn't counted on four mookish mobsters, just released from Alcatraz after serving 11 years for bank robbery. Led by "Steve Maschick" (Ward Bond), they've seen the reward offer (it headlined all the papers), and have made a beeline for Thornton's office. "We're just the men for the job," Maschick tells him. "I know something about taking down big shots." Thornton's assistant thinks these guys are clowns (and they are, playing it over-eager: "Listen, seee..."), but Maschick lights a cigar and guarantees a result. "For a million big ones, I'll deliver you his mustache." Little does he know how insightful that is. Thornton waves off the doubters and hires the gang on the spot.
The first thing they've gotta do is get inside Nazi Germany, so they start by joining the Canadian Air Force to become paratroopers, in a sequence that's right out of The Three Stooges. Then, they hijack a plane and its pilot, making him fly to Berlin. Finally, they force him to jump along with them, and by the time they hit the ground, he's a convert to their cause and an accomplice. Next, they commandeer a German troop truck in Calabasas and don the soldiers' uniforms. The pilot questions Steve: "Okay great, we look like Krauts, but how are we gonna get past their checkpoints?" Maschick answers, "Listen, one of my past jobs was runnin' a beer joint in Milwaukee." Meaning, "I can speak German no problem". And he can, but with a Midwestern accent. And in fact, one of the Nazis, a radio operator, sounds like he's from Topanga Canyon, so it must be catching.
When the gang are pulled over by the Gestapo (driving sidecars) on Mulholland Drive, Steve makes up an excuse to deceive them: "Achtung! It was intended that you jail us, for I am to speak to no one but Der Fuhrer. I have a message for him and must be in protective custody!" After a few Heil Hitlers, the officer is sufficiently bluffed. He escorts Steve and the boys to the Dachau concentration camp in Agoura, where they are given a private cell. One night, while eating their cabbage and potatoes, gang member "Dutch" (Warren Hymer) notices a playing card in his gravy. "Looky here, fellas, the ace of spades". The card has a coded message from someone called "Rosebud", who is really a German countess named "Else von Brandt" (Dorothy Tree), who is part of the secret resistance. Her plan is to break the boys out of Dachau. She is also a dancer who has, upcoming, a private performance with Hitler. "You four will be my musicians. I will provide you with papers." Ward Bond plays it "sure thing, lady" all the way. He can't wait to get Hitler face to face and deck him for being such a jerk. Dutch is killed while protecting the gang during their escape, and a Dachau cook serves as his replacement. We learn that the cook once saved Adolph's life in World War 1. He knows an anatomical secret that will figure in the end of the movie.
They've done the "make fun of Hitler and/or Nazis" thing in many movies, but this one has to be seen to be believed. It's premise, i.e that "only some double-digit IQ hoodlums can take him down" is actually pretty inventive, and the plan just may work for the very fact of their cretinism: since they don't know they're in over their heads, they'll succeed for that very reason. But Steve Maschick is also earnest. He genuinely feels that Hitler is an evil bastard. "I'll tear that little shrimp to pieces!" This one goes beyond a Thumbs Rating. Just call it a must-see, in general. One fan at IMDB called it bad/good in the tradition of Ed Wood, but it's better than that, because it's deliberately played camp. And then at the end, there's a deadly serious message in the last two minutes. It's highly recommended for being so off-the-wall, and - yes - funny. The picture is good-not-great. ////
The previous night, we had our very own Barbara Stanwyck, all of 22 years old, in "The Locked Door"(1929), her second film. Barbara plays "Ann Carter", who, as the movie opens, is attending a lavish party aboard a "drinking" ship, so called because it sails 12 miles out into international waters, so that it's wealthy patrons won't be breaking the law during Prohibition. Ann is on board with "Frank Devereaux" (Rod La Rocque), the playboy son of her employer. Frank's been courting her for a while now, and she's finally accepted his invitation for a date, but when he starts pounding the champagne and insists she match him drink for drink, she starts to feel uneasy. "I have to go to work in the morning, Frank. Your father won't like it if I'm hung over." "Yes, quite right, my dear," he agrees, disingenuously.
To assuage her, he requests a private, upstairs cabin, "where we can have some dinner. Would you like to try the Belugian caviar?" Frank likes to show off his money. Ann agrees that some food would be nice, but when they get up there, it's booze and more booze, brought by a "yes man" waiter. Frank orders him to leave, then locks the door (hence the title), and now he attempts what he's been waiting for all along, a chance to rape Ann. Of course, he tries to make it look like she "wants it". "C'mon, Ann, don't act so innocent." He corners her in the cabin, all the while maintaining his smarmy charm. He's twice her size, and rips her dress, but she's saved by the sound of speedboat engines, racing for the ship. It's a long row of cops. "Fix your dress, it's a raid!" Frank exclaims. As the police board the drinking ship, he "counsels" the terrified Ann. "It's your word against mine, and my father's a rich man. You came with me of your own free will. I'll say you threw yourself at me. We were drunk, things got a little wild. Sorry officer, we promise to go home now." The audience isn't shown how the night turns out (until later), but the ship was busted in an undercover scheme; its captain was a policeman who deliberately steered it inside the 12 mile line. It was thus in U.S waters, so everyone was liable for arrest.
Now, we cut to the near fyoochum. Ann is married to another wealthy man named "Lawrence Reagan" (William Stage Boyd), who adores her and knows nothing of her past. His sister "Helen" (Betty Bronson) lives with them. Lawrence adores her too, he's protective, so when a young man comes calling, he sticks around to greet him. And, heavens to Betsy, it's Frank Devereaux. Though Larry's never met him, he instantly dislikes him. But that's nothing compared to when Ann comes downstairs and sees Frank, whom she hasn't seen since the police raid over a year earlier. When, by coincidence, Larry and Helen leave the room, Ann takes the opportunity to threaten him: "You leave my sister in law alone, or I'll expose what you did to me." "Go right ahead," says Frank, "And I'll show your husband a photo I have of our arrest." Now we find out what happened in the aftermath of the police raid on the ship. Ann kept her mouth shut about the attempted rape. She and Frank were arrested with the rest of the revelers, but because of the potential scandal, they jumped bail and were never caught.
"Oh yes," Frank says now, "your hubby doesn't know all this, does he? I didn't think so. So I'll tell you what; you let me and Helen decide about ourselves. She fancies me. I think we'll be married." Indeed, he plans just that, a wedding in Hawaii, and when Helen enthusiastically agrees to go, Ann steps in to stop them, knowing that Frank's a rapist. On the eve of their departure, she goes unannounced to his hotel, to threaten him again. "Go ahead and show Larry your picture. My life doesn't matter, but I'll not let you attack Helen." Unbeknownst to her, Frank has changed their destination to Havana, presumably so no one will know where Helen is.
While Frank and Ann are arguing, a knock at the door signals Lawrence. He's taken it upon himself to stop the marriage, independently of Ann, knowing nothing of the attempted rape, but on the news of a friend, an older man whose marriage was also broken up by Frank, and who is threatening to kill him. Larry has come to confront Frank about his womanizing ways, but has no idea that his wife Ann is there too, at Frank's hotel. She's hiding now in a spare room, mortified to be discovered with Frank. Downstairs, a struggle ensues and a gunshot is heard. Ann finds Frank near death.
Now comes the crux of the plot, in which Ann (a violated woman who doesn't care anymore) tries to take the blame for her husband, who's fled the scene after the shooting. When the cops arrive, Ann says, "I did it. I shot Frank," but the Inspector believes she's lying. Barbara Stanwyck's acting here is emotionally genuine. It's been said that she tapped into youthful experiences for inspiration, not necessarily rape, but she had a very rough childhood. She's phenomenal throughout, in just her second motion picture (though she'd done stage work), and you can bet that producers were saying "get me Barbara Stanwyck" after that. It took her a long time to get her due as a great actress. Now, she's regarded as being up there with Bette Davis, Joan Crawford and the top ladies.
And, in a funny way, Rod La Rocque (yes, his real name) was very good too. not as a great actor, but in playing The Smarmy Slimeball using silent movie technique, with exaggerated voicings and mannerisms, and eye makeup. This flick was released in the first year of sound and has been restored (check credits for film library), and is as direct in its portrayal of taboo subject matter as any pre-Code movie we've seen. It's about date rape, and it's tackled head-on. A woman (Ann) puts her life on the line, not only to protect another young woman (Helen) from a rapist, but then covers for his murder for her husband. It's hard core stuff, taken from a stage play. Two Huge Thumbs Up, and Two Gigantic for Barbara Stanwyck's performance. The picture is very good on this soon-to-be 95 year old movie. ////
And that's all for tonight. Top ice creams? Have we done that one? No? Okay. Well, I think we have to exclude chocolate and vanilla, simply because they're like The Beatles of ice cream, and we already know they'd be two of everyone's favorites. Also, brand names are hard, because they're all so good. I mean, Thrifty, Dreyer's, Breyer's, Haagen Dazs, Ben & Jerry's, Baskin Robbins, Blue Bunny, Carnation (name some more). Have you ever had a bad brand of ice cream? Answer: no you haven't. So let's do favorite flavors, instead (excluding chocolate and vanilla, remember), and you can do 'em by brand if you want to. I'm gonna start with Thrifty, because we got so many cones there in the '70s. I've gotta say Strawberry Cheesecake was my favorite, followed by Mint 'n Chip, then Rocky Road. Breyer's Chocolate Chip is doggone good. Then, there's Carnation's Neopolitan Ice Cream Sandwiches, which technically have chocolate and vanilla but it's part of the threesome with strawberry and thus forms a hybrid, tripartite flavor. And finally, Dreyer's Butter Pecan. Yeah, I know: what about all those custom Ben & Jerry's flavors like Cherry Garcia, and Moose Tracks (or whatever it's called by whoever makes it), and all those ones that have chunks of chocolate in dark chocolate ice creams, or swirls of this'n'that? What about all those? Yeah, they're good, too. As noted, there's no such thing as bad ice cream. But we're talkin' favorites, and those are mine. What are yours?
My blogging music is "Moondawn" by Klaus Schulze (he makes good blogging music), and my late night is "Siegfried" by Wagner. I think the Rams have a chance against the Bengals because Joe Burrow is out. I wish you a happy Sunday and I send you Tons of Love, as always. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
No comments:
Post a Comment