All I ever listen to these days is Wagner and Klaus Schulze. I will get back to other music, but right now I could listen to "Lohengrin" and "Cyborg" every day. My latest movie is "Internes Can't Take Money"(1937), starring Barbara Stanwyck and Joel McCrea. The title is not a typo. I don't know how the spelling mistake got past the studio bosses, or maybe Interns was spelled differently in those days. No matter. I have been saying for a while now that Our Barbara (I claim her for Northridge) is the equal of any actress in motion pictures, and as I was watching her in this film (half-distractedly), I was caught off-guard in a couple of close ups, where Stanwyck was required to shed a single tear. The expression on her face in one slowly developing shot is beyond compare, and goes way beyond "technique". She is portraying the feeling of romantic abandonment, and it looks like you are watching the real thing. I think she was the greatest emotional actress who ever lived, and I say that not because she lived in Northridge but because Watch The Freakin' Movie. Her co-star Joel McCrea was also a legend. He and his beautiful wife Frances Dee preserved a huge part of Thousand Oaks.
My other movie was "The Girl in the Case", a Screwball full of double entendres starring Janis Carter and Edmund Lowe, about a lawyer whose specialty is picking locks. I can't tell you the plot because my life is off-the-charts. Y'know, it's really weird that all the Meissners are gone, all the Smalls, and all the Friedmans; not so much the parents, because all of them would be 100 years old by now, but all of the sons were under 60 and they're deceased. Here's a question for you: why was David Friedman the best man at Terry's wedding? Terry barely knew David Friedman. Yeah, yeah, I know: they both smoked a ton of pot, so they had that in common, but Friedman never hung out at Concord Square. He and Terry never went to a movie together, never went to a concert, or played in a band, or had common interests, and yet Friedman, and not Pat F. or The Pimpster, or Dan Dale, or someone you'd expect, was the best man at Terry's wedding to Kelly. Not only that, but Friedman was the only one of The Friends to attend Terry's wedding, period. He also went to Disneyland with Terry and Kelly. What's up with that? How did David Friedman, of all people, come to be Terry's best man? I'm the world's greatest detective, so don't worry, I'll figure it out, but you guys could save me some time by providing a clue.
You know, it really hits me sometimes, when I can think clearly, with everything that is overwhelming me these days - It hits me, this question: "Why didn't Lillian just leave me?" In other words, she'd just graduated CSUN with a hard-earned 7-long-years business degree, and she'd just found a job pushing rap "music" (which she did too good a job of, because we're still suffering the effects to this day), and on top of that, she had her older friends Lannie and Joanie, with whom she was doing God Knows What, and in the summer of 1989 she also had my brother and Terry, and her connections with myriad drug dealers, and whatever else she was involved in, so why didn't she just pack up and leave me?
It wasn't because she loved me. We know now that that was a lot of hooey.
Why remain with me, who at the time was an unemployed loser? Lilly even said to me: "I want someone with ambition," so again, why not just pack up and leave? You know, given how weird this thing has been, I've even wondered if perhaps Lillian was twins, and on some days her Dad sent The Good One over and on other days he sent The Evil One. But using Occam's Razor, I'd guess there was just one Lilly, and even if she was stone cold crazy she still knew exactly what she was doing. There is "crazy" where you are non compos mentis, and then there is crazy when you are fully aware of what you are doing and don't think it's wrong, because you feel you are above the law, or that you are better than other people. Lillian was conditioned in this way. But as for me, the reason she didn't leave, when any sane girl would've (and I've said that I would've left me, too!), is because her Dad saw me as some kind of prize. Despite outward appearances, I am not your average person, and in 1989 it was a situation where her Dad wanted to "marry his daughter into the family". However, it wasn't working out for him, so he decided to get revenge. There may also have been blackmail involved. An interesting clue is that, with all her cheating, there didn't seem to be any joy in it for Lilly. She always seemed spiteful when caught, and it was as if she was "trying to rub it in", to humiliate me. And again, to reiterate, in a normal situation, the girlfriend would simply leave: "Sorry Adam, but I've given you seven years, and you're still a loser. Goodbye." But not only didn't Lilly leave, she selected an even bigger loser to cheat with. And as Chris said to Dave Small when Dave asked why Kelly left him for Terry, "It's because you didn't drink enough." That's one case where Chris was right on the money (and hilarious). But of course, Lillian was screwing Chris, as well. And that's been among the shockers of this week.
A picture seems to be developing, that begins around Friday August 11, 1989. I don't want to reveal too much, because I'm trying to save exact details for my book, but on that date, I went to a movie: "Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child". I must make a quick aside to say that my memory recall has proved to be "Grade A" amazing because I can recall exact dates for stuff that happened 34 years ago, at exact locations, with exact people. It's not perfect every time, but in this case, with the specific imagery, it is. I attended the Freddy movie with Pat F., who wanted me to go because I was feeling very bad, and he was intent on exposing the situation that was causing it. God Bless Pat. He may have known some behind the scenes stuff that he never told me, but when the chips were down, he stuck by my side. He also may have felt guilty because he introduced me to Lillian, but anyhow, there were a lot of people at this movie, people we knew, and I kind of wondered "why is everyone here?" And when the movie ended, Pat sort of nudged me like "watch this", and he confronted David Birke and then Chris. And Chris got very uppity, and then belligerent. I can picture him standing in the aisle at the UA Granada Hills Theater, in his boots. Chris cut a very intimidating figure as he stood there. Pat put him on the spot, about what he'd been up to, and as I was listening and looking on, I was absolutely shocked. But also, because Chris's responses turned into threats (because of who and what he was involved with), I started to get scared. It was like being in Alice in Wonderland, where the world is suddenly upside down.
I believe that the next day (Saturday August 12, 1989) was the day of the utterly shocking Chris and Lillian in the Dining Room memory (at 9032), the description of which will have to wait for the book, and I believe that the actions of Chris and Lillian in the house on that afternoon, led me to walk up to Dad's apartment that evening, for safety and to ask him if he knew what the hell was going on. That led to the arrival, at Dad's place, of Chris, and then Lillian and her Dad (and possibly her cousin, who would later threaten me and who held a knife to my dog Alice's throat). Their "summit" with Dad was a failure, and after they left (including Chris), I walked home, scared out of my wits, and beyond freaked out. The Alice in Wonderland effect was now full-tilt. All of this madness had happened in just over 24 hours, and was preceded by some other stuff earlier in August. But August 12 was when everything blew up, and when I got home from Dad's that night, something else happened.
The telephone rang at 9032. I think I let it ring and ring, because I was scared who might be on the other end. But I know I finally picked it up. And there was a lady on the other end. All of this is now in my conscious memory. I'm going to leave the details at that point, and discontinue the story. But when I answered that call, and listened to the lady on the other end of the line, it seemed to set in motion a chain of events that may be crucial in understanding the entire story that I've been working on for 30 years.
That lady's phone call set something in motion.
Of course, Lillian had been provoking the situation for almost as long as I had known her. I've told you about my amazing memory; well, I can now remember a party that occurred in the hills of Encino, way back in 1984 or 85. It was thrown by a girl named Leah. Leah was a rich girl from Beverly Hills whose Dad was a lawyer (or something), and for a few weeks (very briefly) she was the "girlfriend" of Mr. Dave Small. I think there was a Mr. B's Flowers connection. Well anyway, Lillian and I attended this party, I don't remember what it was in honor of, or if it was just a summer party, but I recall feeling alienated there, just sitting poolside with Lilly, wondering "what the hell are we doing here?" Dave Small's former girlfriend Bobbi was there. She had worked at Mr. B's, and we used to chide Dave when she was with him, because Bobbi would never let him come to band practice (or so he said). Anyway, I remember Bobbi being there, so maybe it was a Mr. B's party of some type.
But then, all of a sudden Terry Meissner was there. A guy who didn't even know Dave Small. Terry arrived with his high school pal Dan Dale, a handsome guy, almost like a young Stepford Man. When he was at Cleveland High School, Terry met these guys like Dan Dale and the Spear boys, who all looked like male models cut from molds. I didn't know them, but had met them once or twice. They were all nice enough guys, but you wondered, even then. "why do they all look like that, like they came out of a machine?" Well anyhow, at this party at Leah's house, this rich Beverly Hills chick Leah who worked at Mr. B's, along with me and Lilly and Dave Small and his ex-girl Bobbi, came Terry and Dan Dale. Two guys who had absolutely no apparent connection to Dave Small or Mr. B's whatsoever. I know I didn't invite them.
But what makes this memory even weirder, it that there was some kind of "surprise" in store for me, because I remember that Terry, out of the blue, presented Lillian with a necklace, or some piece of jewelry, as if he was Lillian's boyfriend. But it was ritualised, and done right there in front of me. And if I am not mistaken (which I never am) he and Lillian kissed. Nothing major, just a lip-smack-smooch, but the whole thing seemed scripted, even though their affection (or attraction) was genuine. The reason I am sure it was scripted, was that (and here comes the Amazing Memory again) Dan Dale, who was either in or sitting by the pool, came to my rescue (well, sort of). He observed the Terry and Lillian exchange, and he said to me (paraphrase) "are you just going to sit there and take that? He kissed her, man! Do something! Fight for her." And I just remember thinking, "Hmm, I know you are Dan Dale, but I don't even know you. How do you know me? And why are you supporting me instead of your pal Terry?"
The point is, there was some kind of Setup, between the Meissners and Lillian's family even then. I could go into more detail but I shant. I'll save it for the book. And Dan Dale would later be involved in a pool party at Concord Square, five years later in 1989!
So you can see what was at work, and it was a long term plan. That's how evil this fucking thing is. Too bad it didn't work out the way they wanted. And I sit here and wonder, "why didn't she just leave me? And why, as beautiful as Lilly was (and she was a stunner), did she choose Terry, a guy with green teeth?
Well anyhow.......
Y'know folks, at the very end of the day, all you have is the Topological Metaphor. Even with your hive-mind and your long held secrets, you can't get around that fact. The Topological Metaphor supercedes us all, its what awaits us at the end of the line, when all your "coolness" and your "L.A. hipsterness" is all played out. All you will have left is the Topological Metaphor, and I will be looking out at you, from inside it, and then you will see yourselves as I see you. ////
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