Very early in our Quarantine Programming, I attempted to watch a movie called "Invasion of the Saucer Men"(1957). I mentioned at the time that I was unable to get past the ten minute mark, because it became apparent that the film had comic overtones, and as you know, I don't like comedy in my sci-fi. But tonight, because our choices grow ever slimmer, I decided to give it a second chance. I was encouraged to see it was directed by Edward L. Cahn, whose name would not have drawn my attention the first time around. By now, though, we've become familiar with many of the auteurs of Cheesy Cinema, and we know that Cahn was not only at the helm of last week's masterful "Invisible Invaders", but he also made the classic "IT! The Terror from Beyond Space", which inspired Ridley Scott to make "Alien". Cahn is no hack, in other words, but an actual Hollywood craftsman with 127 credits to his name from several genres.
"Saucer Men" opens with the landing of a UFO, late one night in a field in California. It is witnessed by a local schmo, "Joe" (Frank Gorshin of "Riddler" fame). Joe races home to tell his roomate what he's seen. "Artie! Artie! Wake up. You won't believe it, right in front of my eyes - a flying saucer! Grab your camera, Artie, we've gotta go back there. We can make a fortune if we get a picture of that thing"! Artie figures Joe is drunk as usual and goes back to bed, but Joe returns to the scene to get his intended photograph.
Over on Lover's Lane, young "Johnny Carter" (Steve Tyrell) is making out with his girlfriend, stopping every so often to pour a can of beer out the window for Farmer Larkin's prize bull. Getting the animal hammered is one of the pastimes of the teenagers in this burg. The Farmer knows they do it and routinely chases them off with a shotgun. It drives him crazy that they park on his land to begin with. Johnny's girlfriend Joan (Gloria Castillo) is worried that Larkin will show up any minute. "Let's go, Johnny. It's after midnight and my father will be wondering where I am anyway". Johnny pours the bull a final Cold One and they drive off.
The night is pitch black as they head for home. Johnny doesn't see the figure in the road until it's too late. Slamming on his brakes. he hits it anyway. He and Joan are freaking out, thinking they've just run over a child. All they can see are little legs sticking out from under the car. Johnny manages to reach under the blood-spattered fender to pull the small body free. When he does, Joan screams in terror. This is because it's not a child after all. It's a big-headed Alien with giant bug eyes and wrinkly skin. "We've gotta notify the police right away"!, Johnny says. What they don't notice is that one of the Alien's hands was cut off in the accident. It has grown an eye in the meantime and crawled into the backseat of Johnny's car.
When they get to the police station, the Detective on duty (Jason Johnson) listens to their story and then immediately orders Johnny to take a breathalyser test (they used a balloon in those days). "Crazy kids! I know all about your antics at Farmer Larkin's place, getting his bull loaded every weekend and putting away your fair share, too! That's balloon's gonna come back way over the limit, and then I'll arrest you for driving under the influence, but first we're gonna go back to that accident site and see what you really hit"! Johnny and Joan protest, "Sir, we're telling the truth! It really was a being from Outer Space"!
"Yeah? Well we'll soon find out".
When they arrive back at the scene of the accident, the figure is still laying in the roadway, but it's not a bug-eyed Alien. Nope, it's Frank Gorshin! You remember him - "Joe", the guy who first spotted the spaceship and wanted to take a picture of it to sell to the press. Now he's laid out flat on the blacktop, deader than a doornail. It looks like Johnny's story was a Grade A baloney sandwich, or maybe an hallucination.
""That was no Little Green Man you killed. Now you can add manslaughter to your drunk driving charge".
Johnny's in a heap of trouble but still insists he's telling the truth. Joan backs him up and suggests they call her father, a big time local attorney. When Dad meets the kids back at the police station, he doesn't believe their story either. "The best thing you can do, Johnny, is keep your mouth shut. If you'll stop telling that crazy story, I might be able to help you. Our one shot is that the guy you hit was a drifter. He's got no relatives in town, no one who cares about him. We'll say he just stumbled into the road. Maybe he was drunk, too. We can possibly get you a lighter sentence if you shut up about seeing spacemen"!
Johnny is facing jail time if he can't prove his story, so he and Joan take the risk of stealing a police car while the detective is conferring with her father. They know of one guy who might believe them; Artie, the roommate of Joe the deceased drifter. They drive the police car back to the crash site and recover Johnny's car. While there, he notices something strange about the way his fender is dented. Putting two and two together, Johnny figures out what has happened :
"Look at this Joan! It's a frame-up! The spacemen dented my fender to make it look like I hit that guy Joe, but really they're the ones who killed him. The dent is on the wrong side from where we hit the being"!
He's right, but it's still not gonna convince the police detective. Johnny is gonna need physical proof of an Alien. What he still doesn't know is that he's got it - the cut-off hand (that has an eyeball) is still crawling around the back of his car. Johnny and Joan locate Artie, who agrees to help them. "Hey, maybe Joe wasn't crazy after all", he says. "He told me about that saucer right after he saw it". The three of them drive once again to the scene of the accident, figuring that the landing site must be nearby. By now, however, a Special Army Unit is on scene, headed up by Col. Ambrose (Sam Buffington) whose orders are to cover the whole thing up and make it look like the landing never happened.
Hmmm, where have I heard that before, lol?
Everything is gonna hinge on the Hand in the back seat. Will Johnny and Joan discover it? Will Artie be able to take a picture? Will Col. Ambrose catch them snooping around? Will the Saucer Men come running out of the bushes? We've only seen a fleeting glimpse of them so far. And what about Farmer Larkin? It's still his property, no big-shot Colonel is gonna tell him what to do.
I loved the heck out of "Invasion of the Saucer Men" and I'm really glad I gave it a second chance. It turned out not to be a comedy after all but more of a spoof. But even so, it's played mock-serious, so it never descends into silliness. There's also a 1950s "gee whiz"! factor, where everything the kids say has an exclamation point. The writing is exceptionally clever, especially the plot twist about the Alien Frame-up Job. That's an absolute riot. Like the other films we've seen from Edward L. Cahn, this movie has a professional studio look, it's obviously a first run picture and the acting is also good. Everyone involved plays the farce at just the right level, and of course Frank Gorshin (only 24 here) is always great. I'm gonna give "Invasion of the Saucer Men" Two Big Thumbs Up and highly recommend you see it. It's a different take on the Alien Invasion motif, with wry dialogue from the Army Colonel and the Police Detective. One doesn't trust the public with the truth about Aliens and the other doesn't trust teenagers. And Farmer Larkin doesn't trust anyone! //////
Before I sign off, I'd like to remind you to check your back seat before getting into your car. If you see a Hand crawling around, give me a call and I'll take a picture of it for you, so the cops won't think you're crazy. That's all for the moment. See you tonight at the Usual Time!
Tons of love! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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