I am sorry to report that a longtime friend passed away last night, David F. If you have read the blog for a while, you might remember that I used to mention David on occasion when he would come over on a Saturday night to join me on a CSUN walk, sometimes with his daughter in tow. David had been coming over on Saturday nights for many years, perhaps as far back as 2010 when I began working for Pearl. But back in about February of 2017, he mentioned to me that he was having painful sensations in his upper jaw that extended up into his ear. He described it as unusual, accompanied by a clicking sensation, possibly a toothache but different. He said it was causing a slight balance problem. A week later, he went to a dentist who said his teeth were fine. She was concerned, and suggested he see a neurologist.
In early April of 2017, David came over for a Saturday night walk. When he arrived, he said he had some news. His demeanor was urgent. He told me he had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor.
On that night, you would not have known it. Physically, he looked and sounded fine, though he was understandably very shaken. The thing was, he asked me not to tell anybody about his diagnosis. He was adamant about it and asked me to promise not to tell. I did promise, and I did not tell anyone because he had asked me not to. I mention all of this because I had been carrying this secret for 19 months and when David was no longer able to come over for our Saturday night walks I just ceased to mention him at all, because it would have meant revealing his illness.
Right after he was diagnosed, David went in to the hospital for treatment. By around June of 2017 he was coming back on Saturday nights, and he continued to do so for most of the rest of last year. He was still able to drive a car. He joined the choir at his Temple and we talked about singing. We talked about his prognosis as well. By last December he was having more difficulty with his vision and his balance.
We went on our last CSUN walk in January of this year.
David called me in April to say that he was in a convalescent hospital here in the Valley. I went to visit him there at the end of the month. It was the last time I saw him.
I met David for the first time in 1978, near the home of a mutual friend. He was 15 and a real wise guy. Initially he was part of my brother's crowd. He and Chris had worked at a health food store in Granada Hills and had gone to Junior High together. But by 1981, he and I had become friends as well.
My friendship with David was not as close as it was with, say, Mr. D or the people in my tightest circle, and I have to be honest about that. My life has been unusual, and I have had very few close friends. But David was always there, throughout the 40 years I knew him. He was a core member of our Rathburn Street Gang of friends. We also played in a band together in the early 90s and had many good times over the years.
David did not have an easy life, and this must be emphasized. I mention this here because I need to say it, and because no one reads this blog anyway. David did not have an easy life. I was often his sounding board and I knew of his troubles. I think he chose me because I am a good listener.
He had a lot of tension in his life, but he also had a lot to say. He was a very intelligent man with a unique sense of humor, and he could dominate a conversation.
He was my friend, and though there is a very serious issue between us that is directly related to the events of 1989, which was never resolved, I am going to miss him.
God Bless You, David.
Soar high. /////
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