Dear Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

I wanted to write tonight, just to communicate my thoughts. I figure it can't hurt, for the usual reason that if you're reading it's because you want to. I hope you had a good weekend.

There's another song on Instagram that I went back and listened to again. It might not be completed, you didn't title it or refer to it as a finished song, but it's the one you captioned "Late Night Ballad Writing Inspired By The Northwoods". If I'm not mistaken, you posted it on Facebook also, and I know I would've commented on it here, at the time. The Instagram date is February 2nd.

It's got a beautiful, haunting melody line. If you've completed it, then along with "The Ocean" and the new song you were working on ten days ago (that I'll call "Canopy" for the lyric I remember), you'll have three excellent songs for a new album. You can really write, Elizabeth. And you bring the imagery alive with your singing.

As you know, because of what happened last week, I've been studying your lyrics. I hope you don't mind. In "Northwoods", after describing the surrounding maples and pines, you sing "how time flies", and then you sing "if I could go back, I'd take all the time in the world", and "if I could go back I promise you I'd be your girl". Finally, you sing "but you're nowhere to be found, in our small town".

So let's say I was interviewing you, for Rolling Stone or some other music magazine. I'd ask about the specifics of those lyrics, like rock writers do. I'd ask "who does the song refer to"?

If I asked you that question myself, as Adam, it might come off as nosy, or - worse - grandiose, as if I'd engaged in wishful thinking. Carly Simon had a song called "You're So Vain", in which she sang the line "you probably think this song is about you" to the protagonist, which was supposedly Warren Beatty. So I'm asking the question as a fictional rock critic, interviewing you for Rolling Stone. In real life, as myself, I'm just trying understand what happened.

The Beatles wrote their share of love songs, but sometimes instead of writing to a girl, they wrote to her boyfriend, almost like advice columnists. If the guy was blowing it, if he was about to lose his girl, John and Paul tried to fix things. That's what they did in "She Loves You". If I were gonna try something similar, I'd write to the guy in your song. Since this is my blog, I can get away with it, because if you aren't reading, no one is gonna see this but me, and if you are reading, then you're reading, and that can only be a good thing. But if I were writing a Beatles "advice song" to the guy in your song, I'd tell him in so many words (and as poetically as possible), "Hey man, don't blow it! You're the luckiest guy in the world! Go back and talk to Elizabeth. She loves you"! I am not being the least bit facetious, either. That would be my advice to him. 

Looking at Instagram once again (and still playing the role of nosy rock critic), I see that the Northwoods Ballad was posted around the same general time frame as the two Red Dress pictures (Rocky Mountains and Iceland) that have the captions of beautiful, romantic poetry. So as your Rolling Stone interviewer, I'd ask you if everything in total, the song lyrics and the poetic captions, refer to the same situation.

"Are they all about the same person"?  And then finally, I'd ask if "The Ocean" was about the same person as well. As the songwriter, you would expect such questions to come with the territory, especially from Rolling Stone magazine.

I hope you don't mind if I ask the same questions as myself, as Adam, and again I'm not trying to be cute or coy with the above paragraphs. Just trying to lighten the mood a little cause I've been pretty depressed (the understatement of the year). If this was 2013 or 2014, I'd come right out and ask you if any of the lyrics or captions were about me, because back then I was pretty sure you loved me. Was I wrong in those days? If I was, I apologize, but it sure didn't feel like I was wrong.

There can be misunderstanding involved in communicating the way we have, via blog and Facebook. The two people communicating that way have to be really in tune with one another, and I always thought we were, especially when the Facebook ticker existed. That made it easy. Of course, I wish we'd been able to keep talking via FB messenger. I know I blew it on that score, but still, something made you start to communicate with me again in 2013. Maybe you saw I wasn't such a bad guy after all.

I just wish I'd payed closer attention recently because I guess you were trying to tell me something. If the lyrics and poetry are about someone else, then I'm truly a delusional idiot. If they are about someone else, then I'm sorry for any mistaken assumptions I made. But if they are about me - something I would have been sure of in 2013 - then I am sorry for not understanding you in the first place, and if you went through emotional pain because of me, then I am sorry beyond words. I am experiencing the same pain now, and believe me Elizabeth, I know what it feels like. It doesn't go away. Had I known, I would never have spent all that time writing about movies and trivial stuff.

You were a miracle for me when I met you, and you'd have to be me to fully understand it, but I could explain it to you if we ever talked in person, or even on messenger. Have you ever hoped to meet just the right person in your life, the exact right person for you?

That's what happened to me in 2012, when I met you. 

What could happen if we actually talked?

I hope we can reconnect at the very least.

What we've had should never be thrown away.

I love you.

xoxoxo :):)