Good Evening, Sweet Baby,
I am just getting home from Pearl's. We went to Lake Balboa once again and had a nice time, even though it was hotter today than when we went on Saturday. But the place was filled with people picnicing, walking dogs, skating, paddle boating, and lots of ducks and birds, too. All of the stimuli is good for Pearl, and Kobedoggie loves the place because it's barbeque heaven. :)
Before that, I went on a major-league hike. Oh boy! Yep, I thought it had been too long since I really went for it, so I drove to Rocky Peak Trail which is in the Santa Susana mountains but east of Santa Su State Park. Rocky Peak is very steep and very long, and I went about a mile and a half in, further than last November, which was the only other times I was on that trail.
And it felt great! I wasn't winded, heart wasn't even beating that hard. To be fair, I've been on steeper trails, but Rocky is pretty unrelenting. It just keeps going up and up, and it actually does wind up at a mountain called Rocky Peak. That's where the trail ends. I've been there three times now, and I haven't yet made it all the way to the top, but I will next time. That would be about 2hrs. round trip.
Anyhow, I took some pics, so I am gonna see if I got any good ones, and if I did I'll post a couple on FB. I hope you had a great Labor Day! I'll be here on usual schedule and then back at Pearl's later on.
I Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:25am : Happy Super Late Night, my Darling. I am here in Pearl's kitchen, all is quiet, fingers are crossed for it to remain that way. I hope you had a nice evening. I went for my walk and watched the last episode of Season 8 of "The X-Files". Maybe the best season yet, and with the addition of the excellent Robert Patrick as Agent Doggett, it adds an extra character dynamic. And, the whole season was nice and weird, too. :)
I've been working on "X-Files" since..........hmmm, was it 2010? Or 2011? I am gonna say 2011 and be on the safe side. So it's taken me five years to watch eight seasons, and I've got one more to go. I know it's not that fast, in these days when people pound every episode of every hit cable show as fast as they can (and I did that myself with "Breaking Bad"), but I watch a lot of movies, too, and anyway, "X-Files" is a show to be savored. :) Ditto "Millennium", the darker & even weirder spin-off from "X-Files", which I also have on dvd.
Remember : only watch classic stuff. Or at least really good stuff. No Sandler movies........ ;)
It doesn't have to be Weird Stuff. I'll watch plenty of that for you, haha.
And, as I posted on FB, R.I.P. to actors Martin Milner and Judy Carne, from two of my favorite shows, "Adam-12" and "Laugh-In". You know Martin Milner made an impression in his role when the current Chief of the LAPD wrote a brief eulogy for him today. Every kid my age loved "Adam-12", and that's the way all cops should be. As for "Laugh-In", it was the precursor to "SNL", and simply put, it was the funniest show of all time, just crazy, zany people on that show. Both "Adam-12" and "Laugh-In" were late '60s shows, and they depicted two sides of that era. The cops, one the one hand, and the swinging hippies and so-called "beautiful people" on the other hand. "Laugh-In" was staged as kind of a live party on TV, with comedy sketches in between. And it was a wild and very funny show. But both shows, even though at different ends of the social spectrum, represent as one looks back the decency and evenhandedness of the 1960s, when there was a Generation Gap (Google it) but not the us vs. them two-sided divisiveness of today.
At any rate, God Bless 'Em.
I see that you are posting lots of music related stuff from a few different bands, so perhaps these are bands you are gonna be working with, or would like to work with? I say Yes!
I say that before too long, you will have a full schedule of bands and videos lined up, and other stuff too, and today I thought "hey, maybe even merch"!, after seeing your post of Sarah's t-shirt for that hardcore band she is a fan of. You could venture into that as well, at some point in the future, because you have those techniques, too (drawing and computer skills for reproducing the image).
I am not much of a drawer, but I did draw a few cool things I am proud of, and one of them is a title card (on sketch paper) for my quake video "The Meadows". I drew it, in logo-ized really creepy letters of green and brown ink (earth colors), and then I video-ed the title card using a tripod to make an opening for my movie. And, I still have that drawing in a scrapbook.
So that's all I know for tonight, my Baby. Tomorrow is regular Tuesday schedule. Sweet Dreams, and I will see you in the morning.
I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
Monday, September 7, 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Sunday Home Chill + Love (director)
Good Afternoon, my Darling,
I am back at home, chilling for a little while. 'Tis an absolutely gorgeous day. We had good singing in choir and a very fun practice. I am hitting most of my high notes and belting it out in the car to reach even higher, haha. Hey, you've gotta practice somewhere. Singers are like trombone players, they've gotta practice in secret, because there's only one volume level they can work with : L.O.U.D. :)
I hope you are having a fun day again at the Taste Of Madison fest. I know you are gonna get some more great band shots, so keep shooting! I'll bet there's a ton of good stuff to eat, too. :)
I'll hang out here til about 3:30, then go for part of my walk and then head back to Pearl's. Usual schedule after that. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon and early evening!
I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:15am : Happy Late Night, Sweet Baby. I see from your posts that you were indeed back at Taste Of Madison, and I hope you had a blast and got some great pics too. I know you did, and it also looks like you are making more contacts with bands. It will start to have an exponential effect, and then what I predicted will come true (and it is beginning to already) : that you will be the go-to video director for Madison bands.
Just continue to develop your style and make it as much about you as the band. Of course, you are showcasing the band, and the band is your client, but just as bold and upfront is the impression you make with your creativity and technical work. Continue to personalise/conceptualise the storylines for each video.
Think of Orson Welles and the great filmmakers, and remember that each image, each camera angle, each edit, both tells a story and leaves an imprint on the viewer. Therefore, consider every shot and remember nuance.
Tell a story with your images; make the viewer remember you as well as the band.
I know you already know this stuff, but I reinforce you anyway.
Think of it like a motion picture - who's in charge? The Director, that's who! So each video is your creation. The band is the client in the case of rock videos, so in a sense, having paid you, they are the executive producers. But always try to steer them toward your creative vision for their music. That is how you will brand yourself as the go-to-director.
A lot of it - all of it, really - is just tuning in to your intelligence and trusting yourself.
Anyhow, it's been a good year so far.
All is quiet right now in Pearl's kitchen. It should be a good week ahead. We have workmen coming during the week, for everything from a termite inspection (a followup to last January's fumigation) to the painting of the playroom (converted garage). So, lots of appointments, but I will try to squeeze in my Downtown train trips and maybe even a hike.........
See you in the morning, my Baby. I Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
I am back at home, chilling for a little while. 'Tis an absolutely gorgeous day. We had good singing in choir and a very fun practice. I am hitting most of my high notes and belting it out in the car to reach even higher, haha. Hey, you've gotta practice somewhere. Singers are like trombone players, they've gotta practice in secret, because there's only one volume level they can work with : L.O.U.D. :)
I hope you are having a fun day again at the Taste Of Madison fest. I know you are gonna get some more great band shots, so keep shooting! I'll bet there's a ton of good stuff to eat, too. :)
I'll hang out here til about 3:30, then go for part of my walk and then head back to Pearl's. Usual schedule after that. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon and early evening!
I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:15am : Happy Late Night, Sweet Baby. I see from your posts that you were indeed back at Taste Of Madison, and I hope you had a blast and got some great pics too. I know you did, and it also looks like you are making more contacts with bands. It will start to have an exponential effect, and then what I predicted will come true (and it is beginning to already) : that you will be the go-to video director for Madison bands.
Just continue to develop your style and make it as much about you as the band. Of course, you are showcasing the band, and the band is your client, but just as bold and upfront is the impression you make with your creativity and technical work. Continue to personalise/conceptualise the storylines for each video.
Think of Orson Welles and the great filmmakers, and remember that each image, each camera angle, each edit, both tells a story and leaves an imprint on the viewer. Therefore, consider every shot and remember nuance.
Tell a story with your images; make the viewer remember you as well as the band.
I know you already know this stuff, but I reinforce you anyway.
Think of it like a motion picture - who's in charge? The Director, that's who! So each video is your creation. The band is the client in the case of rock videos, so in a sense, having paid you, they are the executive producers. But always try to steer them toward your creative vision for their music. That is how you will brand yourself as the go-to-director.
A lot of it - all of it, really - is just tuning in to your intelligence and trusting yourself.
Anyhow, it's been a good year so far.
All is quiet right now in Pearl's kitchen. It should be a good week ahead. We have workmen coming during the week, for everything from a termite inspection (a followup to last January's fumigation) to the painting of the playroom (converted garage). So, lots of appointments, but I will try to squeeze in my Downtown train trips and maybe even a hike.........
See you in the morning, my Baby. I Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Saturday Afternoon Sweet Babyism (great shot + late night love)
Good Afternoon, my Darling,
I am home from Pearl's. Ultimately, I did get a reasonable amount of sleep last night, so I feel pretty good, and it is a gorgeous late Summer day here in the 'Ridge. Gotta run a ton of errands, though. Hikes will have to wait for the upcoming week (and my trips to Downtown L.A. cause I've gotta use my train tickets before they expire).
I see that you may be at the Taste Of Madison festival, and I know you go every year. I hope you are having a blast! Again, I want to say that I loved your post yesterday, and I have to say again also, that because You are You it makes all the difference.
I don't wanna bring up the computer issue again. I mean, I knew about it last year, so I was already.....inured, I suppose would be a good word for it. I was already inured to it after discovering it a year ago. The only difference was that back then I thought it was your folks, but even then, after some time went by I just kind of let it go. I didn't really forget about it but it went by the wayside.
This time it was a shock (even though a delayed shock) because now I know it was you.
But You are You, and You are my Sweet Baby, and I just can't be mad at you. The only thing that still confuses me is the whole technical issue : if it was a Trojan virus (and I really do know next to nothing about all that stuff), then I can't figure why you'd have sent it to me when I was using library computers, because I'd be on so many different computers at different libes and even different systems (CSUN, city libes), that I don't see how it could work. Unless it's just limited to Facebook. And at the time, you'd have had no way of knowing that I was gonna get a home PC. And I'm pretty sure it isn't a password hack, as I stated earlier.
So I can't figure it out entirely, but in the end (and this is the important part) : You are You.
You are You, Elizabeth, and I guess you had your reasons for doing it. On an intuitive level, I understand those reasons, at least I think I do :), and the way you put it in your post (of the girl with the birthday cake), it is even endearing and sincere, if such a word can be used in this case, and I think it can. :)
You are You, and You are very sincere. On my own behalf, I must say again (one last time) that I'd prefer it hadn't happened, but it has, and I've known about it for a year so the shock only came back because I now know it was you and not your folks.
As far as all the things I wrote in one of my blogs a few days ago, most of it is due to the fact that I've been by myself for a very long time now. The part about me being the age I am (which is not an old geezer by any stretch, especially because it's me we are talking about, haha), is still important, mainly because time really does seem to go by faster after you get to about 45 or so. When you are 20, 30 feels like a long way away, and it is! Time, as we talk about so often, because it's an awesome subject, really does have elastic properties, and I can remember very easily how the span between 20 and 30 felt, or even the span between 20 and 25. It feels like a long, long time. And therefore it is! (kinda awesome, in a way).
It can still feel that way in your 50s, and it's kind of a trip because when I think back to certain memories of 2012, when I met you, some of those things - concerts, picture taking expeditions, writings - feel like they happened 5 or 10 years ago instead of just 3. So time is a weird thing. I love how weird it is! :)
But when you combine time with a person's age, if that person (me) has been alone for a long time, the person can focus on just that one aspect of time.
"Man, I've been alone for a long time, and I'm 55 already"! Then you start making mental leaps : "60 is just around the corner (a five year leap), will I still be alone then"? Five years, between 55 and 60, should feel like a reasonably long time, even though age does indeed make time feel faster. But what happens is that, when you've been alone for a long time, you start asking "what if"?, and you start making those mental leaps, which span years of time: "What if I'm alone at 60? At 70? Omg, that's only 15 years away"!
Now, fifteen years should feel like a very long time, and it does, even to a person my age. But the "alone" factor brings that worry into the equation, and you just start to focus on that one thing, as far as time is concerned. "Man, I've been alone for 25 years! Will I be alone for another 25"?
And all of a sudden, your mind is spanning 50 years, you are thinking backward and forward about that One Thing, and it feels like time is going by very fast.
As for me, I have had good friends in my life, and had my parents with me for a long time, and I've been extremely fortunate in so many respects, and I never forget that.
But I don't wanna wind up as just "one of the guys", a single old guy (and when I'm 80 I suppose I will be old, or at least a little bit) with no family. I want, and hope, to get married, and I know also - I certainly realise - that I am not Your Basic Marriage Material because I don't have a career, etc.
But I've already stated my philosophy on all that stuff, i.e. how all you've gotta do to make things work in life is just get the bills paid. To me, as a creative person, that's enough : make sure the bills always get paid, and try to save as much money as you can along the way. I may not have a career, but that's my philosophy, and I must say that it's been working pretty well of late. I have been fortunate, as I say, and am beyond grateful for all the blessings in my life. It has been an unusual life, but also very fulfilling to me in the best senses of that word, spiritually fulfilling most of all.
Anyway, that's enough about me.
As for you (and You and Me), we have been doing things this way, this type of communication, for a long time now. I always said I wouldn't rush you, and I would not, and couldn't anyway because it's your life. Especially at 19 or even 22 going on 23, I would not rush you into anything, even talking to me.
All I would say is that, for best results, it would be great to at least think about a time span : i.e. when you might want to have real communication. You don't even have to tell me, but you can if you want to. But I just say, for best results for us, at least start to think about it. We used to have some pretty great conversations, you know..... ;)
Finally, you are my Sweet Baby, and I do love everything you do, just like in your post of the girl with the cake. I know you've just wanted to "keep me in check" as it says in the text. All I ask is that you keep in mind the passing time, and even just think to yourself of a small way or ways to keep things moving forward, even just a little bit. :)
I am gonna go run my errands in a little bit, so have fun at the festival and I will see you in a bit. I'll probably be taking Pearl and The 'Ster to Lake Balboa at 4:30, but will be back at home by 7ish.
I Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:15am : Happy Late Night, Sweet Baby. That is an excellent shot you got of the guy from Starset! I had not heard of them before, but that is some far-out stage gear he is wearing. At first, I thought it represented some kind of riot-police gear, like a comment on anarchy or "police-state" culture. Then I saw their FB page, and I discovered it is a Space motif, specifically like the kind of outfits you used to see in 1950s sci-fi movies.
That is some wild looking stuff, almost like a Devo conceptual trip, except harder rock of course. You must have been up close, and you got what I would call a great "rock n' roll" shot where the action of the concert is captured in the frame. I used to love shooting at concerts myself, and I only stopped because I didn't wanna miss any songs by concentrating on my photos, but shooting rock concerts is a blast!
I hope you had a fun day overall, you probably saw at least a couple bands, probably had some good food too. I took The Gang to Lake Balboa as previously described. Then this evening Grimsley came over to go on the Official CSUN Walk with me. I should trademark it and begin offering personalised walks or even group walks....... :)
Well, tomorrow morning is church and the usual Sunday schedule. For Communion (first Sunday of every month), we are singing an appropriate anthem : "Living Bread". I will be home after choir practice, and here at Pearl's for a short while in the morn before we leave.
Sweet Dreams until then. I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
I am home from Pearl's. Ultimately, I did get a reasonable amount of sleep last night, so I feel pretty good, and it is a gorgeous late Summer day here in the 'Ridge. Gotta run a ton of errands, though. Hikes will have to wait for the upcoming week (and my trips to Downtown L.A. cause I've gotta use my train tickets before they expire).
I see that you may be at the Taste Of Madison festival, and I know you go every year. I hope you are having a blast! Again, I want to say that I loved your post yesterday, and I have to say again also, that because You are You it makes all the difference.
I don't wanna bring up the computer issue again. I mean, I knew about it last year, so I was already.....inured, I suppose would be a good word for it. I was already inured to it after discovering it a year ago. The only difference was that back then I thought it was your folks, but even then, after some time went by I just kind of let it go. I didn't really forget about it but it went by the wayside.
This time it was a shock (even though a delayed shock) because now I know it was you.
But You are You, and You are my Sweet Baby, and I just can't be mad at you. The only thing that still confuses me is the whole technical issue : if it was a Trojan virus (and I really do know next to nothing about all that stuff), then I can't figure why you'd have sent it to me when I was using library computers, because I'd be on so many different computers at different libes and even different systems (CSUN, city libes), that I don't see how it could work. Unless it's just limited to Facebook. And at the time, you'd have had no way of knowing that I was gonna get a home PC. And I'm pretty sure it isn't a password hack, as I stated earlier.
So I can't figure it out entirely, but in the end (and this is the important part) : You are You.
You are You, Elizabeth, and I guess you had your reasons for doing it. On an intuitive level, I understand those reasons, at least I think I do :), and the way you put it in your post (of the girl with the birthday cake), it is even endearing and sincere, if such a word can be used in this case, and I think it can. :)
You are You, and You are very sincere. On my own behalf, I must say again (one last time) that I'd prefer it hadn't happened, but it has, and I've known about it for a year so the shock only came back because I now know it was you and not your folks.
As far as all the things I wrote in one of my blogs a few days ago, most of it is due to the fact that I've been by myself for a very long time now. The part about me being the age I am (which is not an old geezer by any stretch, especially because it's me we are talking about, haha), is still important, mainly because time really does seem to go by faster after you get to about 45 or so. When you are 20, 30 feels like a long way away, and it is! Time, as we talk about so often, because it's an awesome subject, really does have elastic properties, and I can remember very easily how the span between 20 and 30 felt, or even the span between 20 and 25. It feels like a long, long time. And therefore it is! (kinda awesome, in a way).
It can still feel that way in your 50s, and it's kind of a trip because when I think back to certain memories of 2012, when I met you, some of those things - concerts, picture taking expeditions, writings - feel like they happened 5 or 10 years ago instead of just 3. So time is a weird thing. I love how weird it is! :)
But when you combine time with a person's age, if that person (me) has been alone for a long time, the person can focus on just that one aspect of time.
"Man, I've been alone for a long time, and I'm 55 already"! Then you start making mental leaps : "60 is just around the corner (a five year leap), will I still be alone then"? Five years, between 55 and 60, should feel like a reasonably long time, even though age does indeed make time feel faster. But what happens is that, when you've been alone for a long time, you start asking "what if"?, and you start making those mental leaps, which span years of time: "What if I'm alone at 60? At 70? Omg, that's only 15 years away"!
Now, fifteen years should feel like a very long time, and it does, even to a person my age. But the "alone" factor brings that worry into the equation, and you just start to focus on that one thing, as far as time is concerned. "Man, I've been alone for 25 years! Will I be alone for another 25"?
And all of a sudden, your mind is spanning 50 years, you are thinking backward and forward about that One Thing, and it feels like time is going by very fast.
As for me, I have had good friends in my life, and had my parents with me for a long time, and I've been extremely fortunate in so many respects, and I never forget that.
But I don't wanna wind up as just "one of the guys", a single old guy (and when I'm 80 I suppose I will be old, or at least a little bit) with no family. I want, and hope, to get married, and I know also - I certainly realise - that I am not Your Basic Marriage Material because I don't have a career, etc.
But I've already stated my philosophy on all that stuff, i.e. how all you've gotta do to make things work in life is just get the bills paid. To me, as a creative person, that's enough : make sure the bills always get paid, and try to save as much money as you can along the way. I may not have a career, but that's my philosophy, and I must say that it's been working pretty well of late. I have been fortunate, as I say, and am beyond grateful for all the blessings in my life. It has been an unusual life, but also very fulfilling to me in the best senses of that word, spiritually fulfilling most of all.
Anyway, that's enough about me.
As for you (and You and Me), we have been doing things this way, this type of communication, for a long time now. I always said I wouldn't rush you, and I would not, and couldn't anyway because it's your life. Especially at 19 or even 22 going on 23, I would not rush you into anything, even talking to me.
All I would say is that, for best results, it would be great to at least think about a time span : i.e. when you might want to have real communication. You don't even have to tell me, but you can if you want to. But I just say, for best results for us, at least start to think about it. We used to have some pretty great conversations, you know..... ;)
Finally, you are my Sweet Baby, and I do love everything you do, just like in your post of the girl with the cake. I know you've just wanted to "keep me in check" as it says in the text. All I ask is that you keep in mind the passing time, and even just think to yourself of a small way or ways to keep things moving forward, even just a little bit. :)
I am gonna go run my errands in a little bit, so have fun at the festival and I will see you in a bit. I'll probably be taking Pearl and The 'Ster to Lake Balboa at 4:30, but will be back at home by 7ish.
I Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:15am : Happy Late Night, Sweet Baby. That is an excellent shot you got of the guy from Starset! I had not heard of them before, but that is some far-out stage gear he is wearing. At first, I thought it represented some kind of riot-police gear, like a comment on anarchy or "police-state" culture. Then I saw their FB page, and I discovered it is a Space motif, specifically like the kind of outfits you used to see in 1950s sci-fi movies.
That is some wild looking stuff, almost like a Devo conceptual trip, except harder rock of course. You must have been up close, and you got what I would call a great "rock n' roll" shot where the action of the concert is captured in the frame. I used to love shooting at concerts myself, and I only stopped because I didn't wanna miss any songs by concentrating on my photos, but shooting rock concerts is a blast!
I hope you had a fun day overall, you probably saw at least a couple bands, probably had some good food too. I took The Gang to Lake Balboa as previously described. Then this evening Grimsley came over to go on the Official CSUN Walk with me. I should trademark it and begin offering personalised walks or even group walks....... :)
Well, tomorrow morning is church and the usual Sunday schedule. For Communion (first Sunday of every month), we are singing an appropriate anthem : "Living Bread". I will be home after choir practice, and here at Pearl's for a short while in the morn before we leave.
Sweet Dreams until then. I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
Friday, September 4, 2015
Perfect :):) (Super Late Love)
Hi Elizabeth,
Okay, that is the perfect post. I love that post. :) And, I am glad to hear from you. I still have to finish my walk, so I will write more when I get back to Pearl's.......
But that is a great post, and funny, too. :)
I Love You. See you in a little bit.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:35am : Hi, my Darling, and Happy Super Late Night. I've had a problem tonight getting Pearl to go to sleep, which is why I am so late. At Midnight, she thinks it's morning because her hours and sense of time are all turned around. Anyway, I am tired but wanted to let you know that I love you. I had (and have) a bunch of stuff I wanted to say about your post earlier, of the girl with the birthday cake, but my brain is a little bit frazzled, so I will catch up tomorrow.
I am so glad you posted today. You make me happy because you are You. One thing is for sure : there is no one like you, Elizabeth. As for me, I just need, like, even three days in a row of full sleep would be awesome. If I could just get my energy back, then I will go on regular hikes and do more stuff. But it's been a bit difficult of late. Still, it's my job, and I want to do it to the best of my ability. I read stuff online at caregiver support group sites, and it is reassuring because other caregivers describe similar (and sometimes far worse) situations, and so just knowing that someone can relate makes me feel a lot better.
Sleep rules, though, and when one has regular full sleep, one can play the game with a full deck of cards. :)
Well, I think everything is gonna be okay. I will catch up tomorrow and write more.
I Love You, Elizabeth. Thanks for not forgetting that! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
Okay, that is the perfect post. I love that post. :) And, I am glad to hear from you. I still have to finish my walk, so I will write more when I get back to Pearl's.......
But that is a great post, and funny, too. :)
I Love You. See you in a little bit.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
12:35am : Hi, my Darling, and Happy Super Late Night. I've had a problem tonight getting Pearl to go to sleep, which is why I am so late. At Midnight, she thinks it's morning because her hours and sense of time are all turned around. Anyway, I am tired but wanted to let you know that I love you. I had (and have) a bunch of stuff I wanted to say about your post earlier, of the girl with the birthday cake, but my brain is a little bit frazzled, so I will catch up tomorrow.
I am so glad you posted today. You make me happy because you are You. One thing is for sure : there is no one like you, Elizabeth. As for me, I just need, like, even three days in a row of full sleep would be awesome. If I could just get my energy back, then I will go on regular hikes and do more stuff. But it's been a bit difficult of late. Still, it's my job, and I want to do it to the best of my ability. I read stuff online at caregiver support group sites, and it is reassuring because other caregivers describe similar (and sometimes far worse) situations, and so just knowing that someone can relate makes me feel a lot better.
Sleep rules, though, and when one has regular full sleep, one can play the game with a full deck of cards. :)
Well, I think everything is gonna be okay. I will catch up tomorrow and write more.
I Love You, Elizabeth. Thanks for not forgetting that! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Hi
Hi Elizabeth,
I am here at Pearl's, back from the Thursday night movie at CSUN, tonight it was "Citizen Kane". I guess you weren't around much today. I did see one post from you in the afternoon, via your friend Morgin, but it looked like it had to do with a photo shoot rather than anything to do with me.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I'm here. I'll be up for a while.
I am here at Pearl's, back from the Thursday night movie at CSUN, tonight it was "Citizen Kane". I guess you weren't around much today. I did see one post from you in the afternoon, via your friend Morgin, but it looked like it had to do with a photo shoot rather than anything to do with me.
Anyhow, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I'm here. I'll be up for a while.
Hi
Hi Elizabeth,
I see you are awake, at least as of a few minutes ago. From your posts today, it looks like you are involved with various bands and possible work situations, so that is good. I am still kind of wondering, though, if you think there are any possible solutions to the situation we have here. That was what I was asking in the blog from a couple days ago.
As far as the hacking goes, I just wanna know the extent of it. I have assumed the worst, that it's a total computer attachment, but if it's just FB, let me know. I have said I am not mad about it, and that's the truth, but I would like to know the extent of it. If you do not want to tell me, that is okay too. Just give me a sign that you don't wanna tell me.
I just want to know where this is all going, is all. I have put three years of my life into writing to you.
I see your video stills today, and I know it will be a great video, but I just withheld comment (or pressing "like") because I feel like "here we go again" : a "romantic" (your word, to describe the music) video, starring you and Johan, who - despite how you may or may not feel about him - is crazy about you.
I am sorry to say that I am tired of dealing with it. Not the video production part, of course, just the "too many guys" part. As I said yesterday, I am 55, the years go by faster at my age, and I just want someone who really wants to be with me. I also understand, 100%, that you would naturally be more inclined to want to be with someone your own age, or closer to it than me.
Maybe I am wrong about that, and it's true that you have posted a lot of beautiful things for me, words and symbols, pictures of weddings. But in the end, it's still Johan in the video, and I am just a guy who - for three years now - writes to you on Blogger but has never talked to you or even messaged with you in all that time.
I am still here, and still would like to see if you would like to work things out. You do seem to have feelings for me, and I don't doubt that, but I need to know if this is gonna move forward.
You don't have to feel a lot of pressure in reading these words. Just ask yourself "how do I (Elizabeth) really feel"? Do you want to move it forward with me? It doesn't have to go fast, all I am asking - for now - is to know if you ever want to actually talk to me, and if so, when that will be. If you don't see it happening in the future, I need to know that.
I feel I've given a lot, with all of my writing for these three years, and I am just needing to know where I stand, in relation to Johan, et al, and your life in general.
If you want to work things out, I am right here. But as I asked the other day, please don't wait.
I see you are awake, at least as of a few minutes ago. From your posts today, it looks like you are involved with various bands and possible work situations, so that is good. I am still kind of wondering, though, if you think there are any possible solutions to the situation we have here. That was what I was asking in the blog from a couple days ago.
As far as the hacking goes, I just wanna know the extent of it. I have assumed the worst, that it's a total computer attachment, but if it's just FB, let me know. I have said I am not mad about it, and that's the truth, but I would like to know the extent of it. If you do not want to tell me, that is okay too. Just give me a sign that you don't wanna tell me.
I just want to know where this is all going, is all. I have put three years of my life into writing to you.
I see your video stills today, and I know it will be a great video, but I just withheld comment (or pressing "like") because I feel like "here we go again" : a "romantic" (your word, to describe the music) video, starring you and Johan, who - despite how you may or may not feel about him - is crazy about you.
I am sorry to say that I am tired of dealing with it. Not the video production part, of course, just the "too many guys" part. As I said yesterday, I am 55, the years go by faster at my age, and I just want someone who really wants to be with me. I also understand, 100%, that you would naturally be more inclined to want to be with someone your own age, or closer to it than me.
Maybe I am wrong about that, and it's true that you have posted a lot of beautiful things for me, words and symbols, pictures of weddings. But in the end, it's still Johan in the video, and I am just a guy who - for three years now - writes to you on Blogger but has never talked to you or even messaged with you in all that time.
I am still here, and still would like to see if you would like to work things out. You do seem to have feelings for me, and I don't doubt that, but I need to know if this is gonna move forward.
You don't have to feel a lot of pressure in reading these words. Just ask yourself "how do I (Elizabeth) really feel"? Do you want to move it forward with me? It doesn't have to go fast, all I am asking - for now - is to know if you ever want to actually talk to me, and if so, when that will be. If you don't see it happening in the future, I need to know that.
I feel I've given a lot, with all of my writing for these three years, and I am just needing to know where I stand, in relation to Johan, et al, and your life in general.
If you want to work things out, I am right here. But as I asked the other day, please don't wait.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Hi (my life)
Hi, Elizabeth,
I saw your post, of I Prevail. I don't know if it has to do with me, but because you made it at around the same time as I posted "Tales From The Crypt" for my brother, and because of the expression on the guy's face in the I Prevail post, I thought maybe it was a reaction to my post. Don't know if I am right or not.
Your post, as so often happens, did not appear in my newsfeed, and I only saw it because I searched "posts Elizabeth likes". I don't know why that happens; I even have you on "close friends" with every possible "alert" button clicked to show your posts above all others, but still they often don't appear. It could be because of your own very strict privacy settings, but again, I don't know.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your I Prevail post, and if it was in response to me, that is good. Please know that I am not mad at you, and I will write more later tonight.
We do need to find a solution to the present problems, and I hope we can do that, and I think we can, if you want to.
Today is a little difficult for me because it marks 26 years of the night I nearly lost my life. That part doesn't bother me, believe it or not. It's the fact that it's never been acknowledged, and that is of course because that event was only part of something much larger, and it's the larger part that is the real reason for the secrecy. I will write a little bit about my feelings on the issue later on as well. Just please know for now that it's hard for me.
Perhaps because of my family experiences as an adolescent, or perhaps simply because of my personality, or maybe both of those things, I am a "fixer". I am a person who is always looking to mend things rather than throw them out. I am also an Aries, and thus incapable of holding a grudge. Read up on your astrology for more on that subject.
At any rate, I repeat that I am not mad, though I also must repeat that we need to find some solutions here, and as always with me, none of it needs to be a big overwrought emotional deal. When I get upset about something - which isn't often - my underlying feelings remain the same. I am not one of those people who attempt to "force" a false emotional shift inside myself, as in "so-and-so did such-and-such to me and now I hate them"! The best example I can give is my parents, who were very difficult to live with for many years. But beneath all the difficulty was love, and as I have said before, as a "fixer" I always prayed and wished for healing in my family, and in the last decade of their lives my prayers were answered, and I got my Real Parents back. The love that was always the bedrock of our family was as strong as ever, and was by then no longer overlaid with layers of emotional distortions. My folks were both sober and, even though they were separated by then, everyone was friendly and healthy and they became my best friends, whom I hung out with all the time.
So that's me, the fixer. I always want to fix things, and I can't hold a grudge because I'm an Aries. But sometimes I still need to find solutions to problems. That's how you fix things, after all.
I will write more later tonight.
:):)
12:05am : I am back. You don'tseem to be around this evening, but I'll write anyway, just a few random but hopefully cohesive thoughts.
The first thing is that, right now, I am dealing with two very stressful situations. I have been working for Pearl for 5 1/2 years, and up until last November it was fairly easy, and the daytime part still is. But nighttime is another story, and that is because Pearl, like many people who have some degree of dementia, has basically become nocturnal. For all intents and purposes, she'd prefer to stay awake at night and sleep during the daytime. It takes a lot of convincing even to get her to go to her bedroom at night, and when she does, it is most often reluctantly. Then, she tends to come back out to the living room every hour or two, and turn the lights and tv on. Each time I have to get up and attempt to restore the situation. If I am lucky, she sleeps all the way through the night perhaps twice a week. I'd say the average, though, is about once. Since last November, I probably average between 4 - 6 hours of sleep a night, and the only time I get a full night's sleep is on that one night per week when Pearl actually sleeps all night, or when I have days off and can sleep at home.
Okay, so the job is difficult at night, and I am long-term sleep deprived. Still, I can deal with it.
But things add up.
I have also been dealing, for 26 years now, with a situation that makes me wonder what my life is supposed to mean. I have never in my life heard of any situation, any story, that simply cannot be discussed. But it seems that What Happened In Northridge is indeed The Story That Cannot Be Discussed, or even acknowledged, and I just don't understand it. Even the most bizarre sounding Alien stories have been rumored, or mentioned outright.
For me, no such luck.
After I was kidnapped by my neighbor, which was only one of a series of events that occured overall, I was finally rescued by some men who were not police officers. I recently told as much to AFOSI, the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, in an FOIA request I sent to them in June. The men were not police officers or SWAT team, as one might expect in such a situation. There was a man in a suit, and there were a few who seemed to be soldiers, though not in traditional uniforms.
The man who kidnapped me was dealt with harshly.
After it was over, I was taken away in a helicopter.
Sounds totally crazy, right?
Except it isn't.
I was taken to a facility that is nowdays called a D.U.M.B., a deep underground military base. If you Google it, you will see that there are indeed such facilities. I believe the D.U.M.B. was at Edwards North Base, as it is called.
There are myriad details involved in this part of the story, which is just one event of many overall. But that is why I wrote to AFOSI after all these years, because of the military involvement in my rescue, and because of the D.U.M.B.
The man in the suit turned out to be a very famous and important man, and you already know who he is.
Sounds totally crazy, right? I must be either a nutcase or someone making up a story for some self-aggrandizing reason.
Except I'm not.
This is just something that happened to me. I have tried to make sense of it, and have spent years doing so. I wrote a rough draft of a book that is 800 pages long.
But no matter what I have done, no matter what agency I have written to, I get nothing. Even Roswell got a few mentions in the newspaper. What I got was my memory taken from me.
When my memories came back, beginning in 1993 and continuing through 1997, I was The Boy Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. First I was disingenuously called crazy. Then people who know better just plain clammed up. This story scares the living shit out of them.
If you look at my reading list on FB, you will see a lot of "alternative" books on what are called all kinds of "conspiracy theories", as if such a thing - some evil plan - could never happen in the good old U.S of A. That kind of stuff only happens in Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union.
There are no such things as Underground Military Bases here in America.
Except that there are.
And for some reason, I was taken to one, in a helicopter after I was kidnapped by a man I didn't know. To this day I don't really understand who he was nor why he did what he did. It almost seems like it was some kind of experiment, because of the military aspect.
But then there is the question of the famous man involved, and the fact that it was all covered up, memories erased, and kept secret now for 26 years and counting. And seemingly unspeakable, unacknowledgeable.
Even Roswell was acknowledged. But not What Happened In Northridge.
I am the only person who has ever spoken of it, and I have done so at length, but no one will respond.
The government won't respond, and it makes me feel as if my life doesn't matter. It's as if I have been thrown in the trash. It's a horrible feeling.
I cannot be dismissed as a typical tin-foil hat "conspiracy theorist" because I am too articulate, and I have been telling the same exceedingly lengthy story, in exact detail, for 18 years now. I have even figured a great deal of it out, at least as to participation and motives of others.
I can tell a story that is not easy to ridicule. That is why no one will respond to me.
And so this is something that is also very stressful in my life, because again, it causes me to wonder what my life is supposed to mean.
What is this thing that happened in 1989? Why did it happen to me, or at least with me at the center?
No one will tell me, and not only that, no one has ever even said, "yes, Adam, this did indeed happen to you". No one has ever even said that. And so I have to live with it, alone, every single day of my life.
Once, in a phone call in late 1994, Lillian alluded to "soldiers", as a way - I believe - of giving me a hint and perhaps trying to jump start my memory. But then, shortly afterward, she turned on me and has not spoken to me since. I do not rule out that she herself - and possibly other participants - were threatened, or perhaps even made to sign non-disclosure security oaths.
They have such things, you know. Just ask AFOSI.
There are monsters in this world, people who are capable of just about anything, and some of them might be in a war against each other. They might even think of themselves as "good guys" and "bad guys", but from where I stand, I am not sure I can tell the difference. What I can tell you is that there are Secret Keepers here in the United States, and they are the people who are really running things. They are Federal, and Military, and they have technologies that you would see in a science-fiction movie.
For some reason, in September 1989 they involved me in a situation - or maybe just rescued me from that situation - and my life has never been the same since. Because I don't know why it happened.
And no one will tell me or even acknowledge to me that it happened, though many people know it did. ///
And so, Elizabeth, my Darling (and you are that), this is my life. I would like for it to be simple, and it can be.
You know how much I love simple things, like going on hikes, watching movies, reading books, just plain having fun.
But I don't have a lot of friends, and many things I do, I do by myself. Some of my friends were involved in What Happened In Northridge, and they will not talk about it. They just want to make small talk, and I have no interest in that.
I want to talk about reality, and this is not going to go away. The very fact that it is Federal and Military and top secret testifies to that fact. But I bear it on my shoulders alone, and it is extremely difficult.
Sometimes, I think I won't make it much further if something good doesn't happen. I have thought I won't make it to 60, because of the stress.
Other times, I feel as though I can live to 100 and beyond. That is because I am an optimistic Aries, and I have a great reserve of healing.
But this thing is not gonna go away until it's dealt with.
The Truth Has Got To Be Told, In It's Entirety.
Read "The Princess and The Pea" for an example of how an unpleasant truth can be deferred temporarlity.
The thing is, Elizabeth, this is my life, crazy as it sounds, and it is true, improbable as that sounds, and I am 55 and I wanna know in what direction my life is headed. When you get to be this age, time goes by much faster, and before I know it I'll be 65, and then 70. The people who have covered up what happened in 1989 aren't gonna help me, and I have no one but myself to rely on. But it gets lonely being me. I want to get married and I want to get married to someone who really wants to be with me.
I have never met someone who really wanted to be with me, all the time (minus the natural wanting to spend time outside a relationship with friends, ala "girls night out" or "guys night" or whatever).
For me, because my life has been what it has been, I could be with my wife and family nearly all the time, without the need for a lot of "small talk time" with friends and aquaintances.
I am 55, and I just wanna lock things down, and have a family, even if it's just me and my wife. And then I wanna spend time with my family, even if it's just me and my wife.
I don't have a lot of time anymore for small talk, or acquaintances, or especially dumb stuff.
I want to spend the remainder of my life in happy times, which can consist of doing almost anything (except Adam Sandler movies), and for me personally, in trying to learn about and understand what happened to me, and other people (including my Mom and Dad) in 1989. The Monsters cannot be allowed to win.
If you post "I Prevail", then that is apt; in the end, I will prevail, because this is my life. No one will cover it up or throw it in the trash.
I just need someone who really wants to be with me, is all.
Thanks for reading.
:):)
I saw your post, of I Prevail. I don't know if it has to do with me, but because you made it at around the same time as I posted "Tales From The Crypt" for my brother, and because of the expression on the guy's face in the I Prevail post, I thought maybe it was a reaction to my post. Don't know if I am right or not.
Your post, as so often happens, did not appear in my newsfeed, and I only saw it because I searched "posts Elizabeth likes". I don't know why that happens; I even have you on "close friends" with every possible "alert" button clicked to show your posts above all others, but still they often don't appear. It could be because of your own very strict privacy settings, but again, I don't know.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your I Prevail post, and if it was in response to me, that is good. Please know that I am not mad at you, and I will write more later tonight.
We do need to find a solution to the present problems, and I hope we can do that, and I think we can, if you want to.
Today is a little difficult for me because it marks 26 years of the night I nearly lost my life. That part doesn't bother me, believe it or not. It's the fact that it's never been acknowledged, and that is of course because that event was only part of something much larger, and it's the larger part that is the real reason for the secrecy. I will write a little bit about my feelings on the issue later on as well. Just please know for now that it's hard for me.
Perhaps because of my family experiences as an adolescent, or perhaps simply because of my personality, or maybe both of those things, I am a "fixer". I am a person who is always looking to mend things rather than throw them out. I am also an Aries, and thus incapable of holding a grudge. Read up on your astrology for more on that subject.
At any rate, I repeat that I am not mad, though I also must repeat that we need to find some solutions here, and as always with me, none of it needs to be a big overwrought emotional deal. When I get upset about something - which isn't often - my underlying feelings remain the same. I am not one of those people who attempt to "force" a false emotional shift inside myself, as in "so-and-so did such-and-such to me and now I hate them"! The best example I can give is my parents, who were very difficult to live with for many years. But beneath all the difficulty was love, and as I have said before, as a "fixer" I always prayed and wished for healing in my family, and in the last decade of their lives my prayers were answered, and I got my Real Parents back. The love that was always the bedrock of our family was as strong as ever, and was by then no longer overlaid with layers of emotional distortions. My folks were both sober and, even though they were separated by then, everyone was friendly and healthy and they became my best friends, whom I hung out with all the time.
So that's me, the fixer. I always want to fix things, and I can't hold a grudge because I'm an Aries. But sometimes I still need to find solutions to problems. That's how you fix things, after all.
I will write more later tonight.
:):)
12:05am : I am back. You don'tseem to be around this evening, but I'll write anyway, just a few random but hopefully cohesive thoughts.
The first thing is that, right now, I am dealing with two very stressful situations. I have been working for Pearl for 5 1/2 years, and up until last November it was fairly easy, and the daytime part still is. But nighttime is another story, and that is because Pearl, like many people who have some degree of dementia, has basically become nocturnal. For all intents and purposes, she'd prefer to stay awake at night and sleep during the daytime. It takes a lot of convincing even to get her to go to her bedroom at night, and when she does, it is most often reluctantly. Then, she tends to come back out to the living room every hour or two, and turn the lights and tv on. Each time I have to get up and attempt to restore the situation. If I am lucky, she sleeps all the way through the night perhaps twice a week. I'd say the average, though, is about once. Since last November, I probably average between 4 - 6 hours of sleep a night, and the only time I get a full night's sleep is on that one night per week when Pearl actually sleeps all night, or when I have days off and can sleep at home.
Okay, so the job is difficult at night, and I am long-term sleep deprived. Still, I can deal with it.
But things add up.
I have also been dealing, for 26 years now, with a situation that makes me wonder what my life is supposed to mean. I have never in my life heard of any situation, any story, that simply cannot be discussed. But it seems that What Happened In Northridge is indeed The Story That Cannot Be Discussed, or even acknowledged, and I just don't understand it. Even the most bizarre sounding Alien stories have been rumored, or mentioned outright.
For me, no such luck.
After I was kidnapped by my neighbor, which was only one of a series of events that occured overall, I was finally rescued by some men who were not police officers. I recently told as much to AFOSI, the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, in an FOIA request I sent to them in June. The men were not police officers or SWAT team, as one might expect in such a situation. There was a man in a suit, and there were a few who seemed to be soldiers, though not in traditional uniforms.
The man who kidnapped me was dealt with harshly.
After it was over, I was taken away in a helicopter.
Sounds totally crazy, right?
Except it isn't.
I was taken to a facility that is nowdays called a D.U.M.B., a deep underground military base. If you Google it, you will see that there are indeed such facilities. I believe the D.U.M.B. was at Edwards North Base, as it is called.
There are myriad details involved in this part of the story, which is just one event of many overall. But that is why I wrote to AFOSI after all these years, because of the military involvement in my rescue, and because of the D.U.M.B.
The man in the suit turned out to be a very famous and important man, and you already know who he is.
Sounds totally crazy, right? I must be either a nutcase or someone making up a story for some self-aggrandizing reason.
Except I'm not.
This is just something that happened to me. I have tried to make sense of it, and have spent years doing so. I wrote a rough draft of a book that is 800 pages long.
But no matter what I have done, no matter what agency I have written to, I get nothing. Even Roswell got a few mentions in the newspaper. What I got was my memory taken from me.
When my memories came back, beginning in 1993 and continuing through 1997, I was The Boy Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. First I was disingenuously called crazy. Then people who know better just plain clammed up. This story scares the living shit out of them.
If you look at my reading list on FB, you will see a lot of "alternative" books on what are called all kinds of "conspiracy theories", as if such a thing - some evil plan - could never happen in the good old U.S of A. That kind of stuff only happens in Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union.
There are no such things as Underground Military Bases here in America.
Except that there are.
And for some reason, I was taken to one, in a helicopter after I was kidnapped by a man I didn't know. To this day I don't really understand who he was nor why he did what he did. It almost seems like it was some kind of experiment, because of the military aspect.
But then there is the question of the famous man involved, and the fact that it was all covered up, memories erased, and kept secret now for 26 years and counting. And seemingly unspeakable, unacknowledgeable.
Even Roswell was acknowledged. But not What Happened In Northridge.
I am the only person who has ever spoken of it, and I have done so at length, but no one will respond.
The government won't respond, and it makes me feel as if my life doesn't matter. It's as if I have been thrown in the trash. It's a horrible feeling.
I cannot be dismissed as a typical tin-foil hat "conspiracy theorist" because I am too articulate, and I have been telling the same exceedingly lengthy story, in exact detail, for 18 years now. I have even figured a great deal of it out, at least as to participation and motives of others.
I can tell a story that is not easy to ridicule. That is why no one will respond to me.
And so this is something that is also very stressful in my life, because again, it causes me to wonder what my life is supposed to mean.
What is this thing that happened in 1989? Why did it happen to me, or at least with me at the center?
No one will tell me, and not only that, no one has ever even said, "yes, Adam, this did indeed happen to you". No one has ever even said that. And so I have to live with it, alone, every single day of my life.
Once, in a phone call in late 1994, Lillian alluded to "soldiers", as a way - I believe - of giving me a hint and perhaps trying to jump start my memory. But then, shortly afterward, she turned on me and has not spoken to me since. I do not rule out that she herself - and possibly other participants - were threatened, or perhaps even made to sign non-disclosure security oaths.
They have such things, you know. Just ask AFOSI.
There are monsters in this world, people who are capable of just about anything, and some of them might be in a war against each other. They might even think of themselves as "good guys" and "bad guys", but from where I stand, I am not sure I can tell the difference. What I can tell you is that there are Secret Keepers here in the United States, and they are the people who are really running things. They are Federal, and Military, and they have technologies that you would see in a science-fiction movie.
For some reason, in September 1989 they involved me in a situation - or maybe just rescued me from that situation - and my life has never been the same since. Because I don't know why it happened.
And no one will tell me or even acknowledge to me that it happened, though many people know it did. ///
And so, Elizabeth, my Darling (and you are that), this is my life. I would like for it to be simple, and it can be.
You know how much I love simple things, like going on hikes, watching movies, reading books, just plain having fun.
But I don't have a lot of friends, and many things I do, I do by myself. Some of my friends were involved in What Happened In Northridge, and they will not talk about it. They just want to make small talk, and I have no interest in that.
I want to talk about reality, and this is not going to go away. The very fact that it is Federal and Military and top secret testifies to that fact. But I bear it on my shoulders alone, and it is extremely difficult.
Sometimes, I think I won't make it much further if something good doesn't happen. I have thought I won't make it to 60, because of the stress.
Other times, I feel as though I can live to 100 and beyond. That is because I am an optimistic Aries, and I have a great reserve of healing.
But this thing is not gonna go away until it's dealt with.
The Truth Has Got To Be Told, In It's Entirety.
Read "The Princess and The Pea" for an example of how an unpleasant truth can be deferred temporarlity.
The thing is, Elizabeth, this is my life, crazy as it sounds, and it is true, improbable as that sounds, and I am 55 and I wanna know in what direction my life is headed. When you get to be this age, time goes by much faster, and before I know it I'll be 65, and then 70. The people who have covered up what happened in 1989 aren't gonna help me, and I have no one but myself to rely on. But it gets lonely being me. I want to get married and I want to get married to someone who really wants to be with me.
I have never met someone who really wanted to be with me, all the time (minus the natural wanting to spend time outside a relationship with friends, ala "girls night out" or "guys night" or whatever).
For me, because my life has been what it has been, I could be with my wife and family nearly all the time, without the need for a lot of "small talk time" with friends and aquaintances.
I am 55, and I just wanna lock things down, and have a family, even if it's just me and my wife. And then I wanna spend time with my family, even if it's just me and my wife.
I don't have a lot of time anymore for small talk, or acquaintances, or especially dumb stuff.
I want to spend the remainder of my life in happy times, which can consist of doing almost anything (except Adam Sandler movies), and for me personally, in trying to learn about and understand what happened to me, and other people (including my Mom and Dad) in 1989. The Monsters cannot be allowed to win.
If you post "I Prevail", then that is apt; in the end, I will prevail, because this is my life. No one will cover it up or throw it in the trash.
I just need someone who really wants to be with me, is all.
Thanks for reading.
:):)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)