Hi, my Darling,
Happy Saturday Night. I am writing a few minutes earlier than usual tonight because of the time change. I love the extra sunlight of daylight savings time, but I don't like the "spring forward" part, where you get hit suddenly with an hour less sleep. So there might be a little grogginess in church tomorrow morn, but our song is a fairly easy one : "I Sing As I Arise Today", which is an appropriate title, haha. It's a St. Patrick's Hymn, also appropos since his day is near, and it has a nice Irish melody.
Yesterday, I forgot to mention that I liked your photo gif of the snowdrops. I remember your pictures of those flowers from way back, maybe back to 2013, and they always made me happy. This time, I am also happy to see that you are having an early Spring and are not being subjected to a deep freeze like the Arctic whateveritwascalled from 2013. I know, it was called The Polar Vortex! Well, I am glad it did not materialise this year. Spring and Snowdrops are much better, and yesterday, your picture was the best part of a difficult day.
This one has really affected me, because of Keith and his music, but also because of the circumstances. His girlfriend Mari, who is an FB friend to all of us ELP fans, is just devastated, and it is a crushing thing to feel.
The pain a person can feel can result in a split second decision which leads to so much more pain for the loved ones. And still, it is not for the rest of us to judge. When we love someone, even peripherally as fans, all we can do is communally try to absorb the pain, and it is still a futile effort.
When someone checks out suddenly and with no advance notice, by their own hand, Good Lord I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of the loved ones. And in this case it has certainly radiated outward to his fans and fellow musicians, and the one heartwarming aspect is that there have been so many tributes.
This world we are in is a matrix, not a reference to the movie but just an observation of the two-sided nature of things. Things Pass Through, from one side to the other.....
We come into this world as babies (Sweet Ones!), with no memory or knowledge from whence we came. But as we go along, we get the glimpses of things we have often talked about, and we realise that this world of "cradle to grave reality" and material things is not all there is.
Those of us who feel we have some perception of other things also feel that life never ends, that nothing ever dies but just continues on in another form, in another realm.
I think that it is likely that most people sense this. Most, if not all, get a glimpse of this two-sidedness at some point in their lives. But I also think that most people, who just live simple, non-contemplative lives that are set firmly in the material world, push away such glimpses, and don't think about things like life after death.
I think that the average person sees life in programmed terms, the terms dictated by things like the 24/7 news cycle, and the political process, and advertising.
A guy like Keith, who was a genius musician and composer, was also sensitive and intelligent enough, no doubt, to see clearly the two-sidedness of life, that we are either Here On Earth, in physical form, or we are Somewhere Else, in Spirit Form (we do not know for certain, but we have faith)....
But we are certain that we are always Somewhere. Here or There, on one side or another.
I became convinced of this first when my Mom died, and I could immediately feel her still with me. It was not wishful thinking, but very real. Dad too, here is also still here, except he's over there somewhere......
The trouble is, though, when sensitive people are fully aware of the two-sidedness of life, they can make a decision to "check out" from this side, the physical side, because of pain, whether psychological or physical.
Keith probably did so because of both. And I would guess it was a split second decision, not something that was long thought out.
I will never, ever judge a suicidal person, because I have felt the blackness of depression in my life, and also because I can't put myself in another person's shoes.
But I just hope that anyone who ever feels that depressed will pause, even just for a minute, to think about the meaning of this life, this physical life, and why it is so important. The truth is that we don't know!
That's the great mystery of life, that we don't know why it's important, or why were here. We can only feel the reasons, we can only get glimpses of the answers.
But when we are in pain, and in my opinion unless it is absolutely unbearable physical pain from a disease, I would hope that anyone would stop to consider the unfathomable meaning of this life, before using their pain, and their faith in the next life, as a springboard to exit this world.
Because in making that split second decision to leave, by their own hand, they leave behind their pain, and it multiplies outward to everyone who loved them, and especially to those who were closest, who then have to figure out how they, too, will heal, and will live this physical life to the end, and without the one they had loved.
It's all quite a dillemma. Jesus taught us about faith, and about suffering, and patience. He also taught us not to judge.
But maybe the only way to conquer pain, at least the psychological kind, is just to bear it and find strength in loved ones, rather than to exit and escape it - into the next world - and thereby spread it around to those left behind.
Or maybe it is the job of the loved ones, the stronger ones, to bear the pain individually and collectively, if the sensitive person could not.
I don't know, and I will not say.
But Keith was just about the last guy you would ever think would do this. And it's hard to see the pain in the people who loved him.
All that can be asked is Why, and the answer is never satisfactory, because suicide involves not just the individual, but everyone else as well. /////
Having said that, I think we all love Keith even more than before, and it makes us want to spread that feeling all over the world, and especially to those we love, in an earnest if futile effort to destroy the pain, or at least mollify it......
Because human lives matter, and love matters, and we must take care of one another......
And in Keith's case, music matters.
It's what he lived for. ///////
That's all I know for tonight, Sweet Baby. I will be home after church about 1:30pm.
See you in the morn, I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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