My Baby,
I just checked Myspace, and boy are people upset! Lol, some are even talking about suing them, filing a class-action suit. Someone said that deleting everyone's pages is akin to stealing. They've made a humongous mistake. I say blame it on Justin Timberlake! He's actually a nice guy, though, from what I hear, so maybe if he gets word of it, he will do something. In case you didn't know, he is part owner of Myspace. Well, it's been a hectic few days. Now what we need is a nice dose of Normal for a while. :) I have got to get some emoticons over here, too, because I have got to have our logo! I will see what I can do. People seem to have pictures and all kinds of custom graphics here. I am also gonna re-post a lot of my Myspace photos over at Flickr. Sigh yet again.......I am gonna miss that place. As mad at them as I am right now, Myspace was my writing home. But FB is where I met you. My goodness, Elizabeth. Life is an amazing thing.
I am gonna get back into my work schedule/routine, go for my walks a little earlier. I am really, really enjoying playing my Squier Strat ever since I got my new headphones, and having this computer at home affords me more time to do so. So get ready; when we jam I will be able to keep up with you! And we are gonna jam.....
I will go for half my walk now, then I want to come back and write a few sentences about the contents of past blogs, just to record things in writing. The story of last Fall and Winter is so special to me, and even though we both know the details, I just want to write down some highlights. I am still gonna pray a lot that those blogs will be recovered, but just in case, I will write details little by little. Our story is such an awesome story, in the literal sense. To love someone, and to hang on to that love, despite distance, communication problems, etc. is truly a blessing from God. When I think how I met you, and then fell in love with you, and then discovered that you loved me, too.
Every single day I am amazed by our story. I will be back after my walk. :) :)
8:50pm : The "James Landers" thing at the bottom of the blog is bugging me. That is the name on my Google account and Google is connected to Blogger. Any time I sign up for anything I always use my first name, but nobody calls me James except people who don't know me. At Myspace, you could edit all that stuff, so I will see if you can do it here. I like my first name, but I have been called Adam since I was born.
On my walk, I was remembering back to May of last year, on that afternoon I was in my apartment when I realised I was in love with you. I am pretty sure it was the day of the Greg Lake concert, so right around the middle of that month. These are the kind of details I think it's important to write down. On that day, I remember the Sun was coming through my window. I have a small back window in my apartment, so it only comes through at certain times of day. So the Sun was coming in, and we were about three weeks past the Opeth/Mastadon/Ghost concert by now, and we had been posting a lot on FB. I had That Feeling ever since I saw your video, the one I described to you, that "there is something about that girl".
So I think the soul sometimes knows before we do, because the soul is out there in the Universe. Or maybe it's the Spirit. Either way, it's a part of our being that knows special things before we know them. But we can sense what the soul knows.
And I had sensed something about you from the moment I saw "Autre Temps".
As we know, you and I clicked immediately, and again, I believe this is because we both sensed something. It sounds like a movie script, but it's real life, and that's what makes it so wonderful. Because these kinds of things are only supposed to happen in the movies, and yet.....here we are. And so, because we had become close right away, by the middle of May, I knew I loved you. And I stood there in my apartment, in the ray of sunlight that was coming in the window, and I thought of you, and that's when, for the first time, I felt your spiritual presence as a physical entity. It felt like a breeze blowing back and forth through me, Elizabeth. I do not describe it merely to be romantic, but also because it actually happened and it was amazing.
By this time, I was fully in concentration of my feelings for you, and with your energy moving inside me, I had to say it.
"I Love You, Elizabeth....I Love You, Elizabeth.....I Love You, Elizabeth".......
I said it over and over and over again. It was like a form of prayer or soul communication. I prayed that you could feel the energy I was sending you, too. At the Greg Lake concert that night, I was on Cloud Nine. Within a few days, I was so overwhelmed with the feeling, and yet I did not yet have the courage to say anything to you. And yet, I had felt your energy, and there was no mistaking it. It wasn't just a case of goosebumps! But I had to be sure, and so I asked the one person who has never steered me wrong in all my life: My Mom. She has been gone since December 2005, and yet she has never left me. In some ways, she is closer than ever. I like to talk to my Mom sometimes, when it is quiet, and so I had to tell her what I was feeling : "I love her so much, Momma".
And Elizabeth, I asked my Mom if I was just being silly, if I was engaging in wishful thinking. We had hit it off, and more importantly I had felt your energy on that amazing afternoon before the concert. But I had always been one to second-guess......
There are moments in your life you will never forget, because life is magic, and it is such moments that make you realize just how magical it is.
I asked my Mom that day, but before I could get all the words out, she answered me with these words: "It's exactly what you think it is".
I had thought it was love, not just one-sided, but between the two of us. And it has been exactly that, just like my Mom told me.
It's just part of our amazing story, and it is important, I think, that it be revered. That is why I will continue to write more details as I continue with the daily blogs. I Love You, Elizabeth, and I can never tell you that too much. I am going to finish my walk in a few minutes, and then I will check back in to say goodnight. I trust you have found this blog. :) :)
10:45pm : My Girl! I have been able to retrieve a couple blogs, on Google cache! I found a tip from a guy at the Myspace Help link, the one where everybody has been complaining. And then I remembered, "oh yeah! Do a Google search of your own blogs"! I used to do that, just to see what came up, and usually I'd get at least a dozen or so. What I am trying to do is see how many keywords I can remember. In the old days I would Google "Adam Landers" and "What Happened In Northridge" and blogs from my story would come back. So now, I just tried Googling "Adam Landers" + Myspace + "I Love You", because I titled several recent blogs with those words. And I just recovered one, from April! I copied and pasted it, and sent it to myself on Yahoo. So try it if you want. I am gonna do some more before I go to bed. Try Googling my name, + Myspace + any keywords you can think of. If you can recall any blog titles, that might work. Or, try your first name, too as a keyword. I am gonna go try it right now! I will save as many as I can tonight, and then more tomorrow as soon as I get back from Pearl's! I figure I wrote one almost every day since late January/early February, so probably over 130 - 140 in all. I don't know how many were cached by Google, but I will try to recover as many as I can. Still praying for Myspace official retrieval, too. People are still over at the Myspace Help link, complaining like crazy. Someone even wrote a web article about it. So it's a big deal. People have lost years of poetry, family photos, all kinds of stuff. Anyway, back to Google for me this instant! I Love You With All My Heart! See you in the morning.
:) :)
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