An Astounding Development

Hi Elizabeth,

I didn't see you on FB all day, so I hope everything is okay. I won't go into a big speech about it, but it feels to me as if something more than meets the eye is going on here, and I say that of course because of the communications ups and downs we keep having. It's just a feeling I have, but I am not upset about it, so don't worry. I just want you to not stress or worry about stuff, and if that's why you don't post sometimes, then I hope you will reconsider and try to communicate if you are worried or upset. Things seemed a little better since I made my big speech about the whole subject last week, but now it is quiet again on your end, so.......I don't know, but I always want to understand, if you want me to.

At any rate, I have something to tell you, and you will be the first person besides Grimsley that I have told this to. It is about a subject I know you don't particularly like hearing about, but for me it is something I have worked so hard on for twenty two years that I sometimes can't believe my own perseverance and determination. But I have persevered, and yesterday I had a revelation - I remembered something - that astounded me. It is something I was not aware of in the 26 years since it happened.

It would take me hours and hours of typing to describe the long process I have gone through to remember this experience, and it would be easier if I could talk it to you, but for now suffice it to say that I have been using self-hypnosis techniques, gleaned from a book recommended by Grim, written by a guy called Eldon Taylor. I read part of the book and listened to the accompanying instructional CD, and I was very quickly able to put myself into a relaxed alpha state. It's easy to do, and while it's not quite hypnosis, it is very effective for focusing and concentrating the mind. I have been doing brief sessions when I had the chance, for the last couple weeks. They would last about 45 minutes or so. I wanted to use these sessions to see if I could uncover anything new about 1989. New information stalled for me around 2008, when my Dad got sick and my life changed and I was unable to focus on my research and my writing.

For whatever reason, during my recent experimental sessions I decided to focus on a specific time period : the morning of September 2, 1989.

Very briefly I will give you some details, and even though they may not be of interest to you, please understand that I just need to write it down now, simply because of the amazing nature (for me) of what I have remembered.

I will not write about the night of September 1, 1989, because I have done that long ago, but what is important here is that - when the night was over - I was put into an empty unit in the apartment complex where the events of that night originated. It's a long story, you might have read some of it on Myspace, but all I need to say now is that it was an Unusual Night. And there were authorities present that were not police.

I only became aware of these people when I was placed in this empty apartment unit at the end of this night, which at that point seemed like a surreal nightmare. A man - some man in a suit - decided that I'd be "safer" in the empty unit than alone at home. That's what I remember.

The manager of the apartment complex opened an empty unit and I was placed in there with some pillows and a blanket and told to stay put, which I did until the next morning. Since 1996/97, when my memories began to come back, I have always remembered that a blonde lady came into the unit the next morning to wake me up and ask how I was doing. For many years, I couldn't figure who she might have been. Then, a couple years ago, it occured to me that she must have been the same manager of the complex who found the empty unit the night before.

What I always have remembered from that morning, of September 2, 1989, is that I just wanted to go home, and I always remembered her telling me, "You can't just leave. There are a couple guys who wanna talk to you first". She gave me some other details, and the words have come in vaguely over the years : "They wanna make sure you don't.....(talk to anybody?).......I was never able to remember exactly that part, and for years I never really thought about it. When trying to recall details from the event, I always just skipped over that part. "Well, let's see - the lady woke me up, and after a while I talked to some guys, and finally they let me go home". I was always more interested in remembering the traumatic events, the big ones, as it were.

But in the last couple weeks, something told me to focus on my meeting with the guy or guys (can't recall if it was one or two) that wanted to talk to me before I was going to be allowed to leave the apartment complex. So, I did focus on that time frame, and that aspect. Self-hypnosis is an astounding thing, and what came up, slowly and gradually, was that the meeting bothered me.

All I'd wanted was to go home. I'd endured a difficult evening the night before, and these guys wouldn't let me go. I began to remember how cold and businesslike they were. At first, I wondered if they'd been policemen, asking about what had happened the night before. But my memory was telling me they weren't.

"Police don't place people in empty apartment units for safe keeping". They take you to the station.

I was concentrating hard now, on my walks too, about remembering who these guys were. I had the strong feeling that the meeting with them felt heavy, as if the situation had just become A Big Deal. I'd already known that it was a very big deal, the night before, but these guys were now confirming it. Because they were Authorities, with credentials, it was now Official. The situation had just become Officially Very Serious, not something you can just walk home from. That's what I was feeling. I kept remembering a form, and a clipboard. I remembered paragraphs and line-item numbers, 1,2,3,4,5,6, etc. Each number represented a specific section on the form.

On Saturday night, I began to think of a phrase : "Non-Disclosure". That phrase just kept popping up in my head, over and over. I have long suspected that other people had been made to sign such a form, a secrecy oath, in connection to what happened.

By Saturday night, I was sure that the guys I met with, who wouldn't let me leave the apartment complex that morning, were Feds. Probably FBI, but not certain on that point.

But what I did next was to Google "FBI Non-Disclosure Form", and what came back just blew me off the map. And then my memory of the encounter, which was buried since the morning it happened 26 years ago, came back to me.

The guys at the apartment complex were indeed Federal agents, and they presented me with a form I was supposed to sign. I remember telling them that I didn't want to sign it, that I'd done nothing wrong.

It was a very serious form, and if you Google what I Googled, you will see a form that looks and reads very much like the form I was presented with, some kind of National Security Oath, with numbered paragraphs.

I can't tell you how blown away I was to see this form on the computer, and to recognise instantly it's similarity to the form I was presented with. I cannot remember just yet if I actually did sign it. I know for sure I didn't want to, but I probably did sign because of the cold pressure these men were putting on me.

"Sign it and you can go home".

Elizabeth, I know this is a bizarre story, and I assure you it's true, but please don't worry about any of it. I only relate tonight's story because I am so astounded to remember this particular set of details after a quarter century. The mind is an amazing thing, and so is the self-hypnosis alpha state technique.

But the bottom line is that I now have a real connection to the fact that Federal authorities were present early on in the ordeal, and the fact that they made me sign something is very important, because now I have a potential paper trail, at least something I can file an FOIA for. Even more importantly, it proves that the technique works, and I can use it to pull up more from my missing memory.

I was made to sign a National Security Oath on September 2, 1989. And I did not remember it until October 24, 2015.

That's all I know for tonight. I love you and hope to see you in the morning.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)