Dad Thought We Were Having "Too Much Fun" :) (more added......)

Hey my Darling,

I got home a little while ago, but had to do some dishes and deal with what I hope will not be a major cricket problem. You might remember I had a cricket in my apartment about a month ago. Well tonight I spotted a baby cricket. I hope there aren't a lot more where he came from, haha. I did manage to trap the baby under a cup, and when I go for my walk I will escort him outside. Hopefully he is the only one.

I did read back over everything I wrote, and I always cringe a little when I go on and on like that, because I worry that I come off as pedantic or overly opinionated or just plain over-the-top. If I did in any of those ways, or in any other obnoxious way, I apologize. I really do think that gentleman was referring to a specific type of "perpetual happiness" culture, like certain New Age types that I am not fond of either. So I think in that context I'd agree with his positions. It's funny, when we were little, my Dad would call for us to come in the house after a full afternoon of playing with the neighborhood kids. He'd say something like "you've had enough fun for the day". And he wasn't being mean. He just thought it was time for us to do something different besides play hide-and-seek for another hour. Once, I heard him talking about this concept, and he used the phrase "too much fun". I never forgot that, and when I was about 12 I asked him what it meant. "What is 'too much fun', Dad? How is it possible to have too much fun"? I don't remember his answer, but it was probably along the lines of what Mackay is talking about, or at least the parts I surmise have to do with "idiot culture". My Dad saw endless play as potentially developing a trait of silliness in his kids. But of course when you are 12, it's hard to understand the reasoning behind it.

I remember once, when I was older, maybe about 16, I read a quote from Elton John (of all people) where he said that, in his opinion, the whole purpose of life was "to have as much fun as possible". I think that's pretty much verbatim, because I never forgot that quote, and I think I used it one time as ammo against Mom or Dad. "Well, guess what, Dad? Elton John says that..........". Of course, that went over real well, as you can imagine. Dad was funny, in an interesting way. His first big job in Hollywood was with KABC TV. Channel 7 in L.A. TV sets became household items in the early 50s, pretty soon everybody had one. This was before I was born, but we had one too. But what happened?

Dad put the TV out in the garage for years and years! I don't mean he put it out there to watch - he put it out there unplugged, to store it. He called it "The Idiot Box", lol. Now, by the time I was born, the TV was back in the house, cause I always remember watching shows. But I also remember what Dad would say to my sisters: "Turn that TV off now, otherwise I'll put it back in the garage! I put it out there for 14 years, and I'll do it again"! I don't think it was actually 14 years, maybe more like 8 or 10, but I always remember him saying 14. But here he was, a TV executive in the very early days of the medium, and he thought it was mind-numbing, an "Idiot Box". Dad mellowed as he got older. He never loved TV, but he did have a few favorite shows as we all do. Dad was idiosyncratic in his approach to intellectual culture. He hated TV, but by the same token thought Shakespeare was a bunch of pretentious claptrap. Lol, I know. For Dad, Charles Dickens was The Man. He was funny, and contradictory, and as a kid it could be hard to deal with him at times, but in the long run I learned so much from him, such as the concept of "too much fun"!

So, there's some more blathering from me. ;) But less opinionated this time! I am gonna go for my walk now, and will be back yet again at my usual time, later this eve. Amazing, I know. Hopefully not totally obnoxious. I hope all is well, and I'll see you in a bit.

I Love You. 

(that's something I just can't help, it's just a fact of life, like breathing)

11pm : I think a big part of life is just staying on an even keel, having balance, and not being on a roller coaster of high ups and low downs. I think you are a lot like me in many respects, and especially stemming from the fact that you are not only extremely intelligent, but that your intelligence is filtered through an artistic soul. And it's more than that, because you are uniquely you. I think - and this is only me, remember that I never say you should think this way - that an important factor in remaining on an even keel is to create boundaries between yourself and others, in which any negative energies coming from others will not factor into your life. I also know that it's easier said than done, and especially when you are still dealing with parental influence, the opinions, personalities and energies of peers, etc. But in my experience, the more you narrow your focus, and set boundaries, the easier is will be to deflect negative energy. I think you are like me in that you want, in general, to have an interesting life. That, in my experience, is so much of what we call happiness, right there! Intelligent people need interesting pursuits. Those pursuits could be anything - anything but mundane. And you will always be pulled in the direction of those pursuits if you give your curiosity free reign. Your curiosity will keep your interests at the forefront of your life, and will lead you, as an Artist, to express yourself through your discoveries. That is why I say to narrow your focus. Not down to a pinpoint, where you exclude people, but just enough so that you are not succeptable to any negative influence.

Obviously, I know you aren't the gullible type, nor prone towards mindless pursuits. I just mean that, when you are a creative person, and also one who thinks very deeply about things (and not all creative people are deep thinkers, not by a long shot), it can be very easy to get distracted by the energies of other people, who mean well (or don't), but who - by pushing their energies in your direction - engage you in their own struggles for happiness.

I have had friends I've had to stop taking calls from, for instance, because every conversation is "woe-is-me". At first, one tries to be helpful, maybe offer advice. But when it becomes a pattern, it is imperative to opt out. That way, you protect your own balance, your own energy level.

I hope ( I use that phrase a lot because I do not have knowledge of many situations) that all is well at home, and that you are getting along well with your Mom. My guess would be generally "yes", and if that is true then it's great. That is part of maintaining an even keel also. Taking care of yourself physically is very important, and in your case that means eating right, taking care of your blood sugar, getting enough sleep. You don't need me to tell you that, but I do anyway. :)

And if you will trust me on the last part, all other things pass. Anything that you are doing now, that you'd rather not be doing (if there is any such thing) will be done, sooner or later, so long as you want it to be done with. Here's me again : when I was 18, I had no idea what to do. I was dropped out of high school, had my equivilency diploma, but couldn't get into college. What was I to do? So, I begged my Dad to get me into the lab. You know the story : I hated it, but stuck it out for three years.

But I knew that it would not be my fate to work there for my whole life, because I didn't want to.

And that is what will shape your life, your wants and desires. In my case, I didn't even know what I wanted, but it found me! What I wanted, I only see in hindsight, but it was to have an interesting life. It wasn't about money, or constant thrills, just always seeking something of interest, major or minor. Hopefully being kind to people along the way. Being Mother Teresa was not my calling, but I believe in being helpful and kind. Never at the expense to your own energy, however, and that is where the avoidance of energy draining people comes in. But so much of what we call "happiness" is just waking up in the morning, feeling physically healthy, going about the daily business we all have in our lives, minimizing the boring stuff, eliminating the intolerable stuff (like jobs that suck or ridiculous people), and just staying on an even keel and seeking out the things that draw your interest. From such comes "even keel happiness". A day-by-day interesting life, in all things great and small.

You are gonna have such a life, Elizabeth. You can trust me on that. Just keep doing what you do.

And that's all I can say for this evening!

I will see you in the morn, and we will have a great week.

Sweet Dreams. I Love You.   xoxoxoxoxo :):)