Good Afternoon, my Darling,
It was a busy morn, first taking Pearl to church, then taking the Kobedog up to CSUN for a monster walk, one end of campus to the other. We went before it got too hot. After that, I went shopping. At the store, I remembered a pepper I forgot to mention last night: pepperoncinis. Have you ever had them? You probably have, at least on a salad. I love 'em! I used to pound jars of pepperoncinis. Along with the little yellow chilis, and the marinated jalapenos, they were great for eating right out of the jar. I will have to get me some, as I haven't had any for a while. At the store, I did buy jalapenos this time. I was talking about it with Grimsley, and he says jalapenos are hotter than habaneros, so I will do a hotness test. I still wanna try one of those Ghost Peppers, from India I think. They are supposed to be the hottest chili in the world, but so far you can't get 'em in the grocery store around here. But I'm ready, haha.
Well, I am gonna chill for a couple hours and read my new book, "The Philosopher's Stone" by Joseph P. Farrell. It is about the history of alchemy and how some of it's secrets may have carried over into the modern era, in the search for exotic materials. Knowing Joe F., he will have an interesting and thoroughly researched take on the subject. I will be back tonight, but I wanted to say I Love You!, and I hope you are having an awesome afternoon. :):)
(back this eve.......)
7pm : Well, my Beautiful Girl, it was one year ago today. I can still see myself sitting in the Northridge Libe. It was a Saturday afternoon. I was writing you an FB message, and part of it was about Neige. I don't recall the particular details, but I know it was a long message, and somewhere near the end of it, I wrote the Three Little Words. I had to write them, to tell you how I felt. The whole experience of falling in love with you had been so magical, and I just couldn't keep it to myself. I had a feeling you might be aware of it anyway, because I'd come right up to the edge of saying it a couple times, but after my July 4th resolution, I was finally going to say it outright.
That's a heck of a thing to say to somebody : I Love You.
No words could mean more, and because of that, saying them for the first time leaves one vulnerable.
But not saying them? When every waking moment is saturated with the feeling? It just pulls at you, that feeling, and it pushes you, and finally you can hold back no longer, no matter how vulnerable you feel.
So I sat there at the computer at the Northridge Library, and I had written out my message, something about Neige in response to our ongoing conversation of the time, and then I added something more. I added what I had to tell you, those Three Little Words.
I Love You.
And I remember sitting there for a couple minutes. After all, once you hit the "send" button, there's no turning back. I knew I was gonna send it; there was no way I was gonna chicken out at that point, but still............I had butterflies.
But then I thought, "If I don't do this, I will forever regret it". And of course I was gonna send it anyway, butterflies or no butterflies. So I finally did hit the "send" button.
And I have had the greatest year of my life as a result.
I Love You, Elizabeth my Angel. Some things are just meant to be. :):)
(back in a little while)
10:45pm : Are you watching a movie with the cat? That is something we will do a lot of! I love movies, as I've said, and basically if they don't have Schwarzanegger, Sandler or DeVito, I'm good to go. Oh, and if they aren't directed by the Farrelly Brothers or Judd Apatow. Other than that, I'm good! I do have my favorites, of course, but they number in the hundreds. Movies are an entirely different trip than music. On the one hand, you can't (I don't think, anyway) repeat view a film as many times as you can listen to an album. I mean, you can listen to a favorite album hundreds of times, unlimited really. You can't do that with a movie. A good movie will certainly stand up to repeat views, and I have a few movies I've seen 10 to 25 times. But music can be listened to almost endlessly (with breaks of course) for the entirety of one's life. The converse to that, is that there are literally thousands of great movies out there, dating back to the beginnings of cinema in the silent era. When I was caregiving for my Mom, we watched a movie a night for several years. One year we watched 400 movies! Before dvds, I did not know the past eras of film. But my Mom got me into the films of the 30s and 40s. So many different styles. That was what was called The Golden Age Of Cinema, from the late 30s to the early 60s.
I just watched a tremendous film the other day, on the afternoon of 4th of July. One of my all-time favorite actors is Montgomery Clift, and I got a dvd of a movie called "Wild River", that I hadn't seen before. It was directed by Elia Kazan, who made "On The Waterfront", among others. Anyway, this movie was classic, about the building of a dam on the Tennessee river, and an old lady who won't move off her property at the floor of the dam. There was an actress in the 1950s named Jo Van Fleet, who was also in "East Of Eden" with James Dean, and she gave a legendary performance in that film and in "Wild River". Monty was great as always, and there is a very touching love story in the film between him and Lee Remick, who was another excellent actress, very young in this film, who died early in her 50s, from cancer.
But a great movie, indeed! Movies, when great, can make you feel the gamut of emotion, just like music can. Just make sure to listen to great music and watch great movies! No junk entertainment. ;)
But that was my converse point about films, is that, even though they cannot be repeated again and again on a daily basis like music can, there are so many great films - thousands, from dozens of countries - that you can watch a different one every day for years, without ever repeating anything.
So we will watch a lot of movies! (don't worry, we will make time for everything. If there is one thing I am good at, it is scheduling - time management. When I'm not daydreaming, that is! haha.....)
Elizabeth, this has been a truly wonderful holiday weekend, so nice and quiet with a wonderful serene vibe. I am glad to see that you are working on your music, and I just say keep doing what you do.
Keep being the Real You, twenty-four hours a day. Live day by day, and absorb life, and know - know! - that you are the Master (Mistress?) of your life. You are in control, and you achieve that by always staying focused on your relationship with your Good Things, including your God.
It's your world, your life. Have an awesome day, tomorrow and every day, as much as possible.
I Love You. You are the Absolute Best, my Darling. :):) hug & kiss
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