Good Evening, my Beautiful Darling,
I am just getting home from Pearl's, no appointments today. I saw your Taya Iv post a couple hours ago and I just wanted to ask if everything is okay, just because of the nature of that post, and because I have asked a couple of times in the blog if you are enjoying things in Italy. I hope you aren't feeling sad about anything. Or maybe missing home? In her post, Taya Iv is talking about physical flaws, lines in the face, and I imagine you aren't referring to anything of that nature, because you, my dear, are stunningly gorgeous. "Perfect", as some of your FB friends have remarked. :)
But I know that all kinds of subtle factors can contribute to melancholy feelings, so if you are feeling that way, whatever the reason, please remember that it will pass. Also remember that physical factors can contribute to such feelings as well, so as I sometimes remind you, make sure to keep your blood sugar in balance, and get enough sleep. I know you know those things, but I just say 'em anyway. :)
Most of all, always remember - always - that I am right here. I never went overseas, or spent an extended period away from home as a young person, but believe me, I sure do know what it's like to experience all the ups and downs of life, and emotions that bring negative thoughts (as Taya Iv says), and anxiety and unease. Life makes us feel so many things, but it's so, so important to know that there is someone (me) who understands, and who is always there, always with you, backing you up at all times so you are never alone, never without a reserve of strength and love. Elizabeth, we are gonna have the greatest conversations about things in the near future. Boy, do I ever know what it's like to have to deal with negative thoughts and anxiety, worries about life. I dealt with those things a lot when I was younger, but underneath all of that was a feeling of optimism that never went away.
I know you have that, too. You are just like me in that way.
That's one of the reasons I always say that you "know". You have a "knowing" about life, and that is the bedrock in you, the underlying optimism I am talking about. Please remember - this is very, very important! - that negative thoughts and emotions have causes, and that they don't come from The Real You. That why I talk about examining your feelings to see where the problem is coming from. Sometimes, it can even just be a simple, physical thing, like low blood sugar or tiredness. But if it's missing home, then you know you will be back in a couple months. If it's unease about the future, that is normal for a young person. Boy, do I ever remember what that feels like. But in your case, you have me, and I am always with you, and will always be with you, and I can reassure you - being eternally young at heart but with a few years of experience - that things always work out if you just believe. Believe in yourself, believe in your life, believe in your God, and know that God and your family and your friends all love you, and especially that I Love You.
I hope I am not overestimating the Taya Iv post, but just because she referred to sadness and stuff, this is why I am saying what I'm saying. I just remind you that I have said all along - all along, mind you :) - that, "Elizabeth, you are gonna have an amazing and wonderful life"! Remember that I am "up on my perch" here, from my perspective of a few extra decades, and also from having a similar emotional temperment to you (we both have that Capricorn Moon thing happening, lol), so having navigated similar emotional waters in my life, I know for sure that things will work out fine.
That's not a maybe, that's for sure. Guaranteed by me. Remember, it's simple : all you have to do is believe. And, take care of yourself physically. And know that you are reinforced by tremendous strength and love.
Hey!, remember back a couple years ago when I would tell you that I was "reinforcing" you? I just remembered that! I think it was when all the Neige and Agalloch stuff was going on. So now, I am reinforcing you again! You can't go wrong now. :)
Well, my Angel, I hope again that I have not overestimated the situation, in fact maybe even things are pretty good. I hope you are enjoying your school to some extent. But whatever the situation, I am right here and I Love You. Your Mom loves you, so always remember that. Things work out, that I know for sure because I've lived it. You are already living your awesome life; I can see it from my perch. :)
I will be here most of the afternoon, I think. An interesting day, overcast and 30 degrees cooler from just two days ago. Maybe I will go to Santa Susana later, perhaps at 2:30, but maybe not. Gotta clean the pad and go to the recycling center, so we'll see. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening and I will check back in a little later, before I leave for Pearl's or right after I get there, at the latest. It's a good day.
I Love You So Much, Elizabeth! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
3:55pm : Hey, my Baby. I just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing before I head back to Pearl's. I hope you have been enjoying your Friday evening, even though I know it is late now. Also, I hope that, all in all, it was a good day. I stayed in this afternoon. A dvd came in the mail, so I watched it - a movie called "The Valley Of The Bees", which I've been trying to get a copy of for a while now. It's made by a Czech filmmaker named Frantisek Vlacil, the same guy who made a great film called "Marketa Lazarova" which was released by Criterion last year. I saw that one and wanted to see what else he'd made, hence the search for "Valley Of The Bees", which was harder to find, but I finally found an inexpensive copy. Another excellent film, albeit grim. It's about a young man in the Middle Ages who is sent off by his father to join a strict religious order called The Knights Of Malta. Later he escapes, to return to his village and be with the girl he loves.
The black & white cinematography is spectacular. The movie, grim but awesome. Ultra-slow like a lot of foreign films of that period, mid-60s.
Anyhow, that was my afternoon. Now I will head back to Pearl's, and I will be back tonight at the usual time. Sweet Dreams, in case you are about to go to sleep.
I Love You, my Darling! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
11:40pm : Good Morning, Beautiful Lady. It's the weekend, so I guess your time is your own? Can you go out and explore the town and the area in general by yourself, or is everything done with chaperones according to a schedule? I am only guessing, but I hope you get a chance to explore. Not much else to report from my end. That sure was a great film I saw this afternoon.
I will see you in the morning, my Darling. I Love You. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)
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