Powwow (rare)

Good Afternoon, my Baby,

I was over at the Powwow, watching the dancing. They had dancers from many different tribes, as far away as South Dakota. The costumes are very beautiful, of course. I found myself wondering where they obtained the fabric for such costumes centuries ago, or if they dyed them themselves. The first dance was to honor Native American war veterans, and there was a big emphasis on their service throughout the history of this country. The announcer explained that, as an indigenous people, they have always found it their duty to protect the land, even after it became a country of migrated Europeans. An elder gave a speech about the importance of maintaining their way of life, and he said something that hit home : that it must be a simple life, "free of unnecessary complexities". There was a good turnout of people there, locals as well as Indians, and you got the feeling that the things he was saying really resonated with everyone. I will go back this evening, during the course of my walk, to watch the closing ceremony.

I like your video. :) It's very cute, I have been hearing that phrase a lot, "what the fox says", so now I know where it comes from. I hope you guys win the competiton!

Well, it's back to work for me in a couple hours. But, it's been a nice vacation and holiday weekend. I like the picture you posted earlier this morning, of the photographer under the tree. I will be back at my favorite parks and trails very soon, in the next week or so, and I hope you are getting (or will soon get) the chance to take some pics as well. But the best will be when we can take them together! I will be here for about another hour, til about 3pm. Then I am gonna go to the Libe to return movies and also do a little shopping before I return to Pearl's. I will also re-hookup Chromebook 2 when I get there. And, I will be back here at 6:45.

Badgers are in a real battle with Penn State. I don't know why the oddsmakers made 'em a 24 point favorite, cause Penn's always been a good team. But, UW should still win the game. Go Badgers! And go UCLA over USC! I love the radio station, but always liked UCLA better in sports, haha.

Well, that's all for now.  Except that............ I Love You. That's a 24/7/365 thing!

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:50pm : I'm back on regular schedule now. The Kobester was glad to see me, so there was a lot of tail wagging going on. I listened to the game for a while. UCLA beat SC pretty handily, always a good thing. Sorry to see the Badgers lose to Penn, but they will probably still get a bowl game. And, it's only sports.

Don't get me wrong, I like sports, but...........it's only sports.

I was sorry to hear about the actor Paul Walker. It's safe to say that I was not a steady follower of all the "Fast & Furious" movies (I saw the first one on dvd), I had seen him in a couple other films. What strikes you about a guy like him, is that he was very successful in the genre he worked in, and yet you never heard anything bad about the guy. No trashy stuff. In this day and age, that's rare.

All we can do in this world is love each other, and take care of each other, and be careful. The world needs it's Good Guys. Let's be two of them.  :):)

Here we go into the final month of an amazing Year To Remember........

I Love You, my Darling. See you in the morning.

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Opale (love added)

Hey Sweet Baby! Yeah, "dusting the piano" sort of describes what I'm doing too. It's raining here, so I'm staying in and playing my three guitars, and my Yamaha classical is getting dusted in the process, because I don't play it as often as the other two, haha. :)

I also have rainwater dripping down my back wall because they've got a repairman up on the roof, and he ripped out the rain gutter above my apartment, so the water is leaking inside, and I am taking breaks to wring out the sponges I have put down to soak it up. It beats going out to the mall, I suppose. The only Black Friday-ing I wound up doing was buying a new memory card for my cam, which I got on the Best Buy website for ten bucks.

So how do you like "Opale"? That's a dumb question, I know. ;p My reaction was that I was "surprised but not surprised". Surprised by the Total Shoegazey-ness of it, but not surprised because he said it was gonna be that way. I love the way it just starts. No intro, no build-up, just straight into that nice melody. And in the middle there are beautiful washes of keyboard sound that bring out the Pink Floyd influence that seems to be developing, an emphasis on big, big sound colors. And he was right, too, that it still sounds like Alcest. How can it not, right? I think it's a fantastic song, like the early stuff but pure shoegaze.

I am guessing we will both get to see them again in the Spring. They've gotta do a second leg to promote the album, and they never stop touring anyway. So the release of "Shelter" will start 2014 off on a perfect note (no pun intended).

I will wander down to the grocery store when the rain stops, and do part of my walk also. Then I will be back later.

I Love You, Elizabeth!  You Rule..........

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11pm : The rest of the day was quiet, just hanging out, reading about Mars' Moon Phobos in a new Joe Farrell book called "Covert Wars And The Clash Of Civilizations : UFOs, Oligarchs and Space Secrecy". Joe always give you your money's worth in the title alone. I will go back to work tomorrow, but then I will get another week off around Christmas. I have enjoyed my period of rest, and am ready for the good feeling of the Christmas season. I think it's best felt without all the stress. :)

So, my Angel, I will see you in the morning. I Love You!

xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Full & Happy :):) (Creature)

Good Evening, my Darling,

Are you enjoying your Thanksgiving dinner? We just finished ours, and I am back. We started early, around 1:30. Lots and lots of food and drink, even Kobedoggie got into the act. He went into the kitchen when nobody was looking, and he pulled a big turkey bone out of a trashbag, and then brought it back and paraded it in front of everyone : "Look what I got"! I ate a lot, everything was delicious, so now I am beached. But, I will still go on my walk as always, after I relax a while with KUSC on the radio. I hope you had a nice day and a great dinner, whether you are all done or still eating.

I will be back in a little while at the usual time. I Love You So Much, Elizabeth!

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)


11:20pm : Sorry I'm a little later than usual. I was watching one of the two sequels to "The Creature From The Black Lagoon". It's called "The Creature Walks Among Us". Then, after the movie was over, I went for my walk, but I didn't see The Creature.........

Yesterday, I found a dvd set at the Northridge Library, one of the Universal Studios "Legacy" Collections that they made of all their famous monster movies, and it had all three "Creature From The Black Lagoon" movies on it, so I had to check it out. Even though I mentioned the original film many times since I went to Corriganville, I had never seen it, so I had to finally see it. And, even though the Creature Costume is rubber and cheesy by today's standards, there is still something very endearing and classic about that movie, and the sequel that I saw tonight. For one thing, classic black and white cinematography, and great underwater shots, some of which were shot at Corriganville. But mostly, it's a classic because of the story, and a script that features a lot of science, and philosophical concerns, such as the so-called "right" of humans to hunt animals, or in this case a monstrous Creature who is both frightened of and angry at the human scientists who discover it.

It was considered a B-Movie when it came out, something you'd see on a Friday night at the drive-in, but it has remained a classic after all these years, and again, I think it's because of the story. They just don't make 'em like that anymore. And, it reminded me of my trips to Corriganville, which reminded me of you and the amazing late Summer and early Fall we have had.

It's interesting, I think, to go back and examine short periods of time, a couple weeks here, a few days there, just to see what was happening at what point during the year. What you were doing and feeling at a particular time. That's also part of the reason I like to keep a diary, to see how the dynamic changes from day to day. You can maybe go along, sort of in a routine, but then one discovery can lead to another.

This year, I am not exactly sure how it started, and I will have to go back and research it in my diary and in pictures and blogs. I used to just visit local "playground" parks, city parks like Northridge. The kind of place with grass and baseball fields where you walk your dog. But then, something sparked my interest, and I think the first place I visited that was bigger was Vasquez Rocks. Maybe it was your pictures from one of your Special Places, maybe the Sideways Trees place. I will check photos and dates. But that is what I am talking about, how one thing can spark another, and in my case, whatever the spark was - most likely one of your pictures - it led me to Vasquez, and then to the hills at the top of Reseda Boulevard, and after that it exploded, so that I wanted to discover every trail in the area. Along the way, I rediscovered Placerita Canyon and Chatsworth Park North. And ultimately, I discovered Corriganville, which led me to "The Creature From The Black Lagoon", which I finally saw for the first time last night.

So, that's how things work, through sparks and pathways. One thing leads to another. A rock concert leads you to look for other similar good music, and you discover a band via a computer website called Youtube that was only in business for the past five or six years, and about seven or eight months after you discover that new band - seemingly out-of-the blue but not really - you meet A Wonderful Lady.

That how it works. I don't question it, I just follow it.  :):)

What a great weekend it is, the way your birthday ( a special one, your 21st) led right into Thanksgiving. I had a nice day, and I trust you did too, my Darling. I still have a day and a half off left, and two sleep-ins. I am guessing you have the rest of the week off, until Monday, so enjoy.

I usually avoid the whole Black Friday thing, but I may go over to Best Buy and look for a new camera card. But mostly, other than sleeping in for an extra hour or so, I will be around. I will see you in the morning.

I Love You, Elizabeth. Imagine our first Thanksgiving together.   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Happy Birthday To My Baby! (I Am Thankful For You) :):)

Good Morning, Beautiful Birthday Girl! I hope your day is going swimmingly. I am just hanging out, slowly finishing a Venti Starbucks from earlier in the morn. Somebody in the building started playing some kind of awful bass-heavy disco or rap very early, just after 8am. It wasn't blasting, but just loud enough so that the repetitive thump vibrated through the walls. But when I came back from Starbucks, it was gone.

Thanks, God!  :)

So now I'm just doing dishes. Called my sister Sophie to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. I will head out in a bit to pick up a pie from the Delicious Bakery down the street. That's what it's called, and they live up to their name. The pie is for tomorrow, of course. I am undecided - it's between Apple, Cherry and Pecan. Tough call, I know. Vickie is bringing the Pumpkin Pie........

I wish your family a Happy Thanksgiving, and whatever you are doing today, I hope you are having a blast.

I will be back later. In the meantime, carry on being Awesome.  :)

I Love You, my Darling.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:10pm : Well, Elizabeth, I hope you had an absolutely wonderful birthday, and that you had the chance to celebrate it. Congratulations on turning 21, even though you were already ahead of your age in intelligence and wisdom. You will find that these are great years, your 20s, and time will stretch out for you to absorb the many wondferful and memorable experiences you will have. But - one year at a time. Actually, one day at a time. That's always the best philosophy, I think.

Tomorrow I will go over to Pearl's at 1pm for Thanksgiving. I wound up getting two pies, a pumpkin and an apple. My sister had called and wanted to switch pies with me. She was originally gonna get the pumpkin, but saw something called a "razzleberry" pie and got that instead. We will soon find out what it is, haha, although since it's pie it's gotta be good, right? I will eat a ton of food and watch football with the guys. My brother-in-law will bring some homemade Habanero salsa, and try to "out-hot" me, but he won't be able to, just like every year. I will ask to see his Mexican Credentials, as always.  :)

It will be fun. The Kobedog will go nuts with all the food around. Man, it's gotta be tough being a dog on Thanksgiving, but I'll try to sneak him a few tidbits under the table. He will expect it of me.

Then when I come home, probably around 6pm, I'll be beached. Hopefully there will be no repetitive bass note disco music playing. ;b

I have a lot to be thankful for, but most of all I am thankful for you, Elizabeth. You are the greatest blessing in my life. I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving, and may God always bless you and your family.

And Us, too - our family. 

I Love You With All My Heart, Happy Birthday once again, and I will see you in the morning.

Sweet Dreams!     xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Bumper Sticker (Happy Birthday!) (I Love You)

Good Morning, my Beautiful Angel,

Actually afternoon for you, but close enough. I just wanted to wish you a most wonderful day on the last day of your twentieth year, and also to say thank you for loving me and making me feel so special. I am feeling nice and rested after a few days of sleeping in. I think I will go for a walk over to the Botanical Garden at CSUN, just to get the day started. I may go over to one of the trails later, not sure yet. It's still nice outside, but tomorrow the clouds are supposed to start rolling in, and we may get a little rain by Thanksgiving.

I'll be around for sure a little later in the afternoon, and I'll be thinking about you all day.

I want one of those bumper stickers that says "I Love My Wife", with a heart on it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):) 

9:59pm (11:59 CST).........aaaaaand..............it's now official: Happy Birthday, Baby! I wish you the best birthday ever. I will have a piece of cake in your honor, and also make a wish especially for you. I hope you have a great day with your family and friends, leading into a nice Thanksgiving as well.
I will be back in a few minutes, but I am gonna post this now, because it's now your birthday!  :):)

10:50pm : If I were there to spend your birthday with you, we would go anywhere you wanted to go, so when we are together, we will keep that date. :):)

Here is a toast to the future, Elizabeth, the near future when we are doing things together, celebrating birthdays, and holidays together, and living life as a new family.

And here is another toast to you, and your life from the day you were born until now, and all the beautiful things you have seen and felt and heard, and all the beautiful things you have done, and all the love and joy you have brought into this world. 

I Love You Always.

Adam

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   :):)

To Hold You :):) (Kryptonite) ("I Do") (Life)

Good Morning, my Angel Elizabeth,

What a way to wake up, to read such a perfect and beautiful quote! It's so very true in our case, and I am so happy and grateful to be in love with you, to love you and be loved by you. We will be married.  :):)

What a wonderful day it is. Thank You Lord. 

Here's to a great week, my Darling, as you celebrate your birthday. All good blessings to you, and as always, I send you my love throughout the day. I can't wait to hold you in my arms.  :):)

5:15pm : Hey my Baby! I hope you had a good day at school and are enjoying your evening. I am having some coffee and trying not to have any chocolate with it, haha. I just saw Sarah's post and it reminds me of my own variations of Kryptonite. Cheese is one of them for sure. I must be an honorary Cheesehead, if I open a block of cheese (pretty much any kind), the same thing is gonna happen : it's gonna be half gone, at least. Waaay too addictive.  :) Potato Chips, same deal. If I open a bag, I can't stop. Peanut Butter is my biggest weakness, and if you eat too much of that, you're not gonna feel too good, lol. Chocolate also. I am pretty good with my dark chocolate, because it has a stronger taste - really rich - and so I can have just a few squares and not want anymore. But, before I left Pearl's on Saturday, she gave me a lot of the leftover Halloween candy we had, cause we didn't get many Trick Or Treaters this year. So I've got a bag of miniature Snickers and Milky Ways and M&Ms in my fridge..........and I'm trying to avoid opening it.

Yep. Cheese, Chips, Peanut Butter and Chocolate. My Kryptonites.

What kind of food is your favorite? For me, I would probably have to say Mexican food. I could get really fat if I ate it all the time, so I don't, but I really do love it. Chinese food, Italian food, those are favorites too. Now I am making myself hungry........

So what are you guys gonna do for Thanksgiving? Getting together with relatives or just something simple? With my family, it's been a tradition for many years, probably like 25 or 30 years, to have Thanksgiving with Pearl's family. It used to be just my folks and my sister who went. Many years ago, I would do my own Thanksgiving, kind of a "rock n' roll" Thanksgiving for a whole bunch of my friends. I would even do all the cooking, and I was pretty good at it. I even tried some Cajun style cooking a few times, inspired by Chef Paul Prudhomme. About 10 years ago I started going to the Thanksgivings at Pearl's. My folks are gone, of course, and so now it's me, my sister Vickie and her family (husband & two sons), and Pearl and her daughter. She will have some Minnesota relatives there this year, too, they just flew in today I think, so I will try and refrain from any Wisconsin superiority ribbing, haha.

Well, tonight I will look for a movie to watch. And then I'll be back later as always.

I Love You, my Darling.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

9:25pm : I just got back from my walk and saw your beautiful post. A wedding in nature would be incredibly spiritual, with an audience of trees, and the sky watching over us. And birds, too. If ever such a setting matched the bond of love between two people, it's you and me and one of our Special Places. You can choose one that is perfect, my Angel. We can even elope, if you want to. :):) I am assuming you still want to finish school, and when you do I will be right here. We will make a good plan for ourselves, and even if we did elope, we could do it without alienating anyone, cause one thing I believe in very strongly is promoting good feeling in families, and I have always gotten a good feeling about your family. I guess the definition of elope really means just to have a wedding by yourselves, so whether you wanted that, or to have your family present, we could do it either way.

But the setting will be beautiful, and you can choose it. I will keep saving my money in the meantime, so we can have a good start to our life together. I Love You, Elizabeth, and I will always do my best for you, and for us, every day.

(back in a few minutes)   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11pm : This is a special time, my girl, your birthday is just a day away, beginning 25 hours from now. My wish is that this will be a week, and a time, that you will always remember. I am sure you already know this, and I know you already experience it, but as you go along, you will see that the energy of memories is a living thing, that special times in your life are not just something you dust off in remembrance but are things that are constantly with you as living parts of your spirit. Moments lived are energies that link you to other experiences and other energies, and when you get to a certain point - and you may already be there now - you will see how profound all these links are to your life.

It's funny, you know, when you are a small kid, and you are having fun, or in school, or doing whatever kids do - just playing with friends - you have a certain idea that life is "this" or "that". For a kid, it means a regimen of school, and following the direction of parents and teachers. But special kids, even at that age, sense that something huge is in the world. I know I did, even if it was just a furtive feeling that would come and go in the blink of an eye.

For young adults, fun and excitement is the name of the game, but then that feeling of something big grows ever stronger, the sense that Life With A Capital "L" is something much more than regimen. Much more than a linear path of material plans and physical actions.

Those plans and actions are what we do as humans, they are part of life. But we also sense something.
We don't know exactly what it is, but the sensation grabs hold of us, and that hold becomes ever stronger once we come to understand it, and ultimately, what was just a vague notion to us as children - that something about Life was Enormous - becomes a persistent idea, and finally a Certainty. The enormity becomes something we must follow after, above all.

And part of what guides us on this path of following, is the energy of memories, of times and moments we have lived, that are stored within us as living parts.

So, I wish you a memorable and wonderful 21st birthday, and I know you are already following the path that was meant for you to follow. That makes me so happy, and to know you, to know you feel these things as I do, is my gift too.

I Love You, my Angel.  I will see you in the morning!    :):) 

Feng Shui Maintenance (Our Family)

Hi, my Angel,

Just checking in to say I Love You. I've been at home most of the day, going through things, papers, books and clothes, trying to store stuff in the most efficient way possible so as to have more free space. My apartment can get pretty crowded, lol, so I am always looking to keep the Feng Shui intact. All told, it's a quiet Sunday. I may walk over to the Redbox to see if there's anything worth watching, but otherwise I'll be here until walk time later this eve. I hope your day is going well.

(now where did I put that Superball, anyway?..........)  ;)

My Baby Rules!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back in a bit)

10:35pm : Oh, my Beautiful Girl........that is what it's all about. Two people loving one another, taking care of each other, being devoted to each other. Love and family are the two most important things in life, I think, and a family begins with two people who are committed to each other in marriage. I think you could actually say that family begins with two people who love each other, and I know for me that is true, because I have thought of you as my family for a long time now, but marriage is the institution that consecrates it.

In your post, your friends have been married for 18 years and it feels like the "blink of an eye". For us, it has been almost two years, and I count it as starting from the day I saw "Autre Temps", because right away, this feeling started...........I have described it (or tried to describe it) before, as a premonition.........about a very special lady. It was instantaneous.

It was something as big as life, something literally magical. There was, and is, no doubt of that.

It was a certainty from the very first moment.

The time since has seemed to be "the blink of an eye", but also the reverse - it feels like time has slowed. Maybe when you look at the big picture it feels fast, and when you look at individual memories it feels like time has stood still, but we have already experienced so many feelings together, so much has happened, and we have expressed what is in our hearts. I can remember each experience along the way, and I like to go back and remember them.

We have used art to express ourselves to each other, and by that I mean art in the universal sense. I can feel your presence as if you were with me, that is our special Connection that we have had since Day One. So, we are Artists first in the spiritual sense. Our spirits connected before we even met.

It's all pretty amazing.  :):)

We have both been blessed with high levels of intelligence both in the intellectual and emotional sense, and that is something we should never take for granted, because it is part of what led us to each other, I think, but now that we've been together for a while, we can use those qualities together to follow the path of destiny that will lead us into the future.

There has been something so very special about it, about us, since the beginning.

So, we can do the magical part by just letting it unfold, by being ourselves. That is the God Part, the Miracle that has been given to us. And we can do the practical part, the nuts and bolts part, just by paying attention, and staying on top of things, and loving each other.

We will have a good life, my Darling. We are our Family already. I Love You So Very Much!

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Time To Chill :):) (Badgers) (good picture!) (Superball)

Happy Saturday, my Darling,

I've been running all over the place this morn, taking Kobedog to the groomer, shopping at many stores, to the Libe. But now I am home, and I'm all done for the next week. Yippee! Right now I'm putting groceries away, checking college football scores. Badgers are holding off Minnesota at the moment. UCLA later in the afternoon. When I am done straightening up the pad, I am gonna relax for a while and unwind the mind.

I trust you are having a nice afternoon. I see it's pretty chilly in Middleton (weather.com), but I bet it's beautiful, too. So, I will be here most of the afternoon, then about 5pm I will do half my walk, just so I won't have to do it all at once tonight.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

5:45pm : Yeah , Sweet Baby! Badgers took 'em. I see you guys have a rivalry with Minnesota, and I suppose that's to be expected. It's funny because Pearl is from Minnesota, and she went to the University of Minnesota, haha. She is always getting alumni fundraiser letters from them. She still has a trace of a Minnesota accent, too, even though she's been out here for 60 years. Anyhow, good job, Badgers! (even though they didn't cover the point spread, but no biggie. They've scored me a lot of points this season). And now, to see how UCLA is doing...........

back in a bit.     :):)

8:30pm : By artifical lighting, I assume you mean some kind of studio lighting? You got a nice soft quality, no shadows. Did you go all the way and use screens or anything? Also, that is a beautiful doggie! Is he or she yours? When I was in photo class, my teacher took about two weeks out of the semester to devote to artificial lighting and studio portraiture. There was a lighting style he taught us, when photographing a person this way, in which you tried to achieve a soft look, with a triangle of light under one eye. I guess it was supposed to be a classic Hollywood portrait style. The school had a 4 X 5 portrait camera, and we had to set up our own lights. I still have the portrait I took, of my (then) best friend's sister. It came out pretty good, I think I got a "B" on it.

You got a nice soft balance in the dog's face, and a faint blend into the background. I'd be interested to know what all you were using. I think we used three lights - one direct, one overhead and one to the side, for that "triangle". A couple students were really good at that type of photography and wound up with magazines. I was always best outdoors or at concerts.

Keep shooting and experimenting with your lights, I will be interested to see what you come up with!

(gonna finish my walk in a minute, back at usual time)      :):)

11:15pm : While I was out on my walk, I was trying to think of the famous portrait photographer from Hollywood during the 30s and 40s, and when I got back I remembered him : George Hurrell. He was a master of glamour portraits, and no matter what type of indoor photography you are doing, if you are using artificial lighting, it is worth taking a look at his pictures. You can Google him if you want. I think a lot of it, besides knowing the equipment, is just trial and error. Lighting placement, like microphone placement in recording, is a big part of the end result. It's like when you're a kid, every kid knows that if you turn out the lights and put a flashlight under your chin, you get "Monster" lighting.

When I was about seven or eight, there was a show on TV called "The Invaders". It was one of the first - or maybe the first - show about aliens - but the thing was, that when they died, the aliens would turn red, then vanish. This led to another invention by Kids With Flashlights. We discovered that if you shone a bright flashlight (new batteries!) through the webbing of your fingers, you could make your hand look red, just like The Invaders!

Now, kids and flashlights have little to do with studio photography, but I mention all this just to encourage you to experiment with your lighting - it's placement, intensity, refraction. Hey! I just thought of something, and that is that you already achieved some neat effects in one of my favorite photos by you, the silhouette called "Praying" that you did last year. So that is the type of experimentation I am talking about.

Try for the professional styles that are seen in magazines and portraits, and also try experimentation.

If, that is, they suit your preferences.

Here is something I just thought of that makes no sense at all in regards to photography, but it's another Kid Experimentation Thing : when we were kids, the Whammo toy company made something called a Superball. It was a small, hard rubber ball made with some special ingredient that caused it to bounce incredibly high when thrown with force against the ground. A Superball was the size of a plum, and if you threw it down hard against the sidewalk, you could bounce it over the roof of your house and into your backyard.

I did that a few times, and then one day I got the idea to go into the hallway of our house, and turn out the lights, and close all the doors to all the bedrooms so that the hallway would be completely dark, and then to throw the Superball off one side of the wall as hard as I could, so that it would rebound very rapidly, and horizontally, parallel to the floor, off the two walls of the hallway. It was really cool, and intense too, because the Superball really bounced off those hallway walls, and made many rebounds before falling to the floor.

But what was even cooler was that about a year later, the Whammo company came out with a glow-in-the-dark Superball. So then, you could do the hallway trick, and stand there in the darkness and watch the luminescent ball bouncing very rapidly between hallway walls. It was awesome.  :)

And, it was a form of experimentation in lighting (even though unintentional), but I suppose that is why such a long ago experience came to mind when I was thinking of experimenting with photographic lighting.

Try for the professional standards, to develop technique, but also keep that Kid Style spontaneity in mind. Kids never know what they are gonna think up next, and they will try most anything that they feel is creative.

I think that whatever you do artistically is going to have your stamp on it. You have artistic individuality.

I Love You, Elizabeth. I will see you in the morn...........  :):)

Sweet Dreams, Beautiful Lady   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

TGIF :):) (Instruments, Piano especially)

Good Afternoon, my Angel,

I hope you are having a nice day and looking forward to your weekend. This time it's TGIF for both of us. I do have to be at Pearl's tomorrow morning, and then to take the Kobedog to the groomer, but essentially I will be off until the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Right now I'm just doing dishes, puttering around, watching the JFK stuff. I have only very dim memories of the actual day. I would have been about 3 years 8 months. I remember my Mom was pregnant with my brother, who would be born two months later on January 14. I remember being across the street at a friend's house, just around the corner from where Pearl's house is. So I work right next to my childhood house every day. But I remember my Mom coming to get me that day.

What I really remember was my brother being born, and then The Beatles coming to America a few weeks after that............

Well, it's super windy outside, so I am just gonna stay in until it's time to head back to Pearl's. I wish you a wonderful afternoon and I send you all my love. xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back in a while)

11:10pm : I am listening to the Schumann sonata and thinking of you. I think I've written before about the love affair between Robert Schumann and his wife Clara, also a composer, and it is a great story of devotion, and because it is, and because they were an Art Couple, I think of us when I think of them.

This is my time of night for concentrated music listening, meaning with no other distractions that happen in the daytime. I love piano music, as you know, and I like to read some of the comments in the Youtube videos, because I see how much the music touches people's hearts. So I know I am not alone in thinking it to be the instrument which expresses most completely the fine points of emotion.

I am always intrigued, when I stop to consider it, that an instrument (be it piano or any other) sits idle until a person begins to play it, and yet, when the playing begins, any possible feeling can come out, in every possible expression. It's interesting that no one really knows what music is, and yet at some point, someone invented these instruments through which someone could play.........

And.......play what? Formats developed - songs at first, most likely. Short forms. Then came the more complex forms. But the whole idea that music continued to develop, so that a desire to invent different kinds of instruments of expression was created, kind of blows my mind. Because no one knows what music is. With pictures, or words, we can say that an artist is trying to express, in one sense or another, what he sees or thinks. A painter interprets his impressions of the world he sees, or paints realistically. The abstract painter paints from within, and that is closer to what a musician does. The poet or writer in most cases is writing from areas of what interests him, or what he wishes to comment on. In the case of the writer and the painter, the influence is very often direct, overt.

But with the musician - the composer - and especially in the works of the piano, you listen to what is being expressed, and it's not visual, it's not literal (meaning words), and while it is aural, it isn't a form of directed communication, for want of a better term. It comes from, and goes to, places that we only know in the soul. It is true Soul Music, and must be listened to in the quiet of the day or night for fullest appreciation.

I am always trying to get outside the "taken for granted" side of life, so I can find the wondrous. Folks might hear a sonata, and go, "well, that was written by so-and-so, in such-and-such year, and it has been played by many great players, and.......". I like to listen and get away from all that. I'm not saying that others can't feel a piece of music very deeply, because that's why the music is so effective and soul-stirring.

In short, I am just absolutely fascinated by the idea of this instrument sitting there, silent, and then all this expression coming from it out of nowhere. And in the case of the piano, this phenomenon seems most extraordinary to me, because the music expands in such directions, all directions great and small. It is the instrument that can accept, to the fullest degree, the human spiritual expression that is input to it.

And then it expresses that input.

Amazing, if you ask me.

I Love You So Much, Elizabeth. I hope you had a nice evening. I will talk to you in the morn.

Sweet Dreams.   xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Let's Go To The Snow! (Movie Night) (xoxoxoxoxo)

Good Morning, Sweet Baby,

I want to walk through the snow with you! You will now have those beautiful winter scenes by the lake to take enjoy and take pictures of. Here, we call it "going to the snow", because when we have it, which is not every year, you have to drive to the mountains to see it. So, it's "let's go to the snow". But I haven't been to the snow in many years, so I am going with you! We will walk through it together, making our footprints.

I am gonna take Pearl to the hair salon in an hour, and this time get my hair trimmed, too. Nothing drastic, just cutting the ends to keep it neat, or as neat as possible with my crazy hair. :)

So, I will be back and forth for a little while, then back here by mid-afternoon. I hope you are listening to some great music and enjoying your day. I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

3:30pm : Hey, my Darling, I am gonna head back to Pearl's in a few minutes, so I just wanted to check in and say hi. Tonight at the Cinematheque, they are gonna show Fassbinder's "Lola", which is supposed to be his post-war take on "The Blue Angel", an earlier film starring Marlene Dietrich. You've really gotta be up on your German cultural history to understand his motivations. I do not, so thank God for our film professor who hosts the screenings. And, I have enjoyed almost all of the Fassbinder films we've seen so far. This one is the usual length, 2 hours, so I will be home about the usual time, 9:45 to 10pm. I'll also be at Pearl's until 6:30.

I was looking again at the photo of the tracks in the snow, and I thought, "wait a minute.........those don't look like footprints". What are they, anyway? :D

Well, I still wanna walk through the snow with you.  :):)

I Love You.   xoxoxoxoxo

11pm : It's finally cold here, cold for us anyway. No more short sleeves til March. Yeah, we're cold wimps here in The Valley, unless we get points for sometimes going down to the low 30s. Tonight's film was pretty good, though I was nodding off in places. I always get tired at the end of a work cycle, but also, this one was done in an idiosyncratic style that is particular to Fassbinder. I love that he is a true artist, who remains loyal to his vision no matter what, but sometimes his movies are very insular - they describe something that has great meaning to him, but may not always translate to an international audience. I am glad I've had a chance to see so many of his films, though.

Tomorrow will be an easy day, then Saturday is a half day, and then I am off for a week. And it's the sleep-ins that are most important, haha. A day off is pretty cool, but a sleep-in is precious. :)

My film card (is that what you call those things?) ran out of room when I was at Stoney Point yesterday, it happened before, earlier in the Summer, but I deleted some stuff back then, just pics that were filler.

This time, I am just gonna retire the card and get a new one. Then, I am gonna choose the best 100 pictures from the card and make prints to put in a photo album. That will document the last 18 months of picture taking.

That's all I know for tonight, my Darling. You will have a break coming up, too, and it will coincide with your birthday and Thanksgiving. So it's gonna be a good week.

I Love You, Elizabeth. Sweet Dreams, my Angel.   :):)

Honey, I'm Home :):)

Good Evening, my Darling,

I'm just getting home. It's looking like it might rain a bit tonight, so I may go for my walk early, or not at all if it really does start coming down. I'll check it after I settle in for a few minutes. It was an ordinary day, except for my short trip to Stoney Point. I am enjoying my little hikes. I hope you had a good day and are enjoying your evening. I'll be back later as always, and you know I always love you.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11pm : The rain didn't amount to much, so I did go for my full walk. I also finished another Steven King book, my second in the last two weeks. This one is called "Joyland" and it's brand new like "Doctor Sleep". It's more of a coming-of-age story than horror, but it has all the classic King elements. I saw your post to Sarah - you sure know your computer and video stuff! You have an aptitude for the technical end of things that I wish I had. I am "monkey see, monkey do", so I can learn most anything, but tech stuff is not second nature to me.

What I wanna do, because my scenery around here is limited (and I suppose that is true of any region), is to find the inspiration to change what I am looking at. I am trying to do that already, because I am always taking pictures of trees and rocks, and there are only so many ways you can photograph trees and rocks. In The Meadows in 1994, you could feel the Spirits, and that was when my photograpic mentality changed. Ever since then, I want to coax a photograph. I want the picture to come to me, because when I am shooting the things I like to shoot - rocks, trees, just stuff that's available to me - I can feel the energy of what I am beholding in the viewfinder. It's just rocks and trees, so I want it to tell me something, rather than me trying to depict it.

There is so much history in nature, and thus so much experience, so much stored energy. So that's what I am trying to capture, with mixed results.

Well, onward and upward as they say. I hope you had a good day. I Love You.

xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Corriganville Again (I Love You So Much) (The Oatmeal) (Color)

Good Afternoon, Sweet Baby,

I'm back until 4:15. It was a busy morn, first to the podiatrist with Pearl, then to drop her off at church for Golden Agers, then I drove out to Corriganville to get that magic feeling again. Brought my camera with me and took a stroll along the trail. I'll take a look at the photos this evening when I have more time, see if I got any good ones. There's just something wonderful about that place, and I can feel you with me every time I go there.

Lol for the Eric Whitacre photo. :) But, that was the Era Of The Hairdo! They play his music all the time on KUSC, he is a fantastic composer. Well, I am gonna jump in the shower because I am all full of dust from the trail. But I will be around one computer or the other until walk time at 8:30.

It's such a magical feeling, Elizabeth. It's nature, but something more, too. And I know you can feel it.

I Love You So Much .  :):)

(back in a bit)

7pm : I saw your post from The Oatmeal. He nails it when he says, politics aside, conservation aside, etc, how can someone find solace in shooting an animal. Although I would change the word "solace" to "excitement", because that is what I think some of these hunters feel upon making a kill. It's a headrush for them. I mean, hell, there have been soldiers who have talked openly about a similar feeling, being in a tank and blowing away some Iraquis at a distance. So if those guys get a rush out of killing humans, you can be sure the hunters get a similar adrenaline surge from killing an animal. And, they use all these high-tech devices now to do so. They use towers, and high power scopes, and that latest trick I talked about - putting a barrell full of donuts down to attract the bear they want to kill. It's like shooting fish in a barrell, as they say.

I always make sure to point out that it would be hypocritical of me to go after all hunters - or hunting in general - when I still eat some forms of meat. I still eat fish and some chicken. I still have a hamburger once or twice a year. I am not perfect, and like many (or even most from my generation), I was raised with the all-American diet. I have certainly enjoyed steaks, ribs, chops, you name it. And even if I never had another bite of red meat or chicken ever again, I still eat salmon and tuna, and who is to say that fishing is any better than hunting, at least as far as the death of a creature is concerned? I would have to be a complete vegan to have any right to condemn all hunters and fishers, and even then I suppose I'd have to stop driving my car because I am polluting the atmosphere, and that is helping to cause all kinds of problems for humans and animals alike. It's helping to cause global warming.

So, I can't (and I am speaking just for myself) speak out against all hunting without being a hypocrite. And of course, I am certainly not suggesting for a second that the guy at The Oatmeal is being hypocritical. He goes to lengths to explain his position.

And the thing is, whether it is partially or fully hypocritical of me to say so, I totally agree with him.

Here's the deal : humans have to eat. Ideally, we would all be vegan. Now, to be vegan (no animal products whatsoever), you've really gotta have it down to a science so you don't suffer any protein or vitamin deficiencies. But it can be done. Still, that is an ideal situation, and ideal situations rarely if ever happen in real life, because you can't police the world. And I suppose that some animal populations might get out of control if they were not "thinned" by humanity. Animals have litters, after all. And carniverous animals, if their populations were out of control, might start using man for food, a reversal of the current situation.

But that's all a moot point, because man can reason, man can invent, man can build, he has tools for all kinds of things. For whatever reason, God or Nature put man and all kinds of animals together on the same planet, and in the beginning it was man who had to fear the wild beasts, at the very least equally to the fear they might have had for him. Life was a struggle, every day, just to eat. And over tens of thousands of years, man figured out how to, if not win that battle, at least to gain a permanent advantage. We are the ones who run the slaughterhouses, not the pigs and cows and chickens.

In the beginning, it was man vs. beast. Both had to eat to survive, and man had to find ways to keep the beast from killing him, so he invented bows and arrows. He needed an advantage, because the beast was not only stronger but could outrun him as well. So, hunting came about for a reason.

I cannot condemn meat eaters because I have been one, and am still one. Fish is meat, too.

But, and I will get off my soapbox now, I will go ahead and risk being hypocritical when I say that hunters like that lady with the ecstatic grin on her face, are complete a-holes. They are killing, just as Oatmeal Guy says, because they get a huge kick out of it. They get a rush. They don't even feel (or seem to be aware of) how cowardly it is to use all those tricks to lure their prey, or to hunt from a tower.

And then to grin on top of it, and/or display what you have killed in a triumphant pose.
It makes me sick.

I can halfway (only halfway) understand the war-crazed soldier who gets a rush from aiming a rocket at a pack of Iraquis or Taliban, and then cheering as they explode. Those guys may have seen their buddies killed. I don't support any of the current wars, but I think I can understand the mind of the soldier. And, I have no sympathy for those Taliban guys anyhow. They are pure scum.

But the people who kill an animal with the same glee have no excuse. I don't care if they are gonna eat the whole thing and use every piece of it's hide to make something with. It's the same psychosis as the soldier, but without the excuse. The soldier is shell-shocked, war crazed.

Hunters who get off on killing, and grin about it, are psychos pure and simple.

And, they're Gun Nuts, too. But don't get me started on them.

That's all I wanted to say about it, my Baby. I know you have much more personal experience with hunting culture than I do, and in fact I don't have any. So, I am not talking about "regular" hunters, whatever that may mean, nor am I talking about responsible gun owners. Just the nutjobs in both categories.

My philosophy is that we will always have idiots in our midst, and psychos, too. And while it is manditory that we reduce the number of psychos in order to have a more sane society, my advice on idiots has always been to ignore them. Most of them are convinced of their beliefs and proud of their ignorance. Don't waste too much energy on 'em.

I'll be back later, after my walk.   :):)

11pm : The guy in Periphery sounds like he has taken a page from 80s metal, in that he knows the importance of color. Too many guys in metal just play the "fast fifths", parts of chords, the E and A string to get that clipped crunchy sound. And, many players are either/or : they are either playing crunch rhythm or playing single note. They don't "cover". The best players know how to cover, to add color, to add the in-between. Eddie Van Halen is a master of it. You never know what type of phrase he is going to employ, but it's never just simple barre chords alternating with leads. To play with color, you really have to know the neck by heart, and that takes a ton of practice. This guy sounds like he knows his guitar history, and is using it in a modern format.

The bottom line will always be that you have to have melody, something that pulls the listener in emotionally. You've gotta have a song. In rock, at least. In jazz, you can go off on any tangent you want, and that is an entirely different thing. I repect jazz, but it doesn't grab me.......(now I am going off on a tangent, haha).

They got a great drum sound on that song. The drummer is a beast, like a lot of modern metal drummers, but what helps make that song is the drum sound, very full but clipped to fit the riffing.

The one thing I would like to see re-introduced to metal is the guitar solo. That always added a "story" in the middle of a song, and while solos should only be played where they are called for, and should never be perfunctory, they did provide an emotional crescendo in the rock songs of the past which was very effective.

Hey, my Baby! Now we are talking music, just like the old days. I like to analyse the different parts of songs, of sounds, of different instruments. Well, it was an excellent day. Tomorrow morn, Pearl has a Women's Club crafts meeting, so I may try to take another day trip, and if I do you are coming with me.

I will see you in the morning, and I wish you sweet dreams.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Just Chillin' (Lipatti)

Good Evening, my Angel,

I just got home a few minutes ago, so I'm gonna hang out till the usual time (8:30), then go for my walk. I hope your school week got off to a good start. After the end of this week, I will get a 7 day break from work. Pearl's daughter and other relatives are coming down for the holiday, so I will have the time off. You will have a few day's break, too, and it will coincide with your birthday so that's perfect.

Well, that's it for now, just chillin' with KUSC and hanging out. I'll write more later......

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:15pm : Listening to one of my favorite pianists, Dinu Lipatti of Romania. Total purity in his playing, nothing fancy, just the music as it was meant to be played, with clarity and heart. Nothing can transport you like the piano, especially when it is played this way.

Piano is restorative, I think. It takes me back to the beginning.

I Love You, Elizabeth.

xoxoxoxo      :):)

November Is Beautiful (Storm) (weather.com) (Light)

I am just returning from an hour long CSUN dogwalk with the Kobester, and I saw the beautiful poem you posted, with the picture of the tranquil lake, and I just wanted to say............

I Love You, Elizabeth.

(gonna drop the doggie off and do some laundry, and will be back in a bit.....)

:):)

5:40pm: I'm at Pearl's, watching the news. I know you haven't been in the tornado zone, but I hope you are not getting clobbered by the overall storm. I will check weather.com. Hang in there, my Love. I'll be home at 6:45 and will check back in.........

7pm : It looks like you guys are not getting any extreme weather, at least according to weather.com. So, I am glad. On tv, they were talking about the Great Lakes area, and the Bears game in Chicago was suspended because of severe weather. You are what, about 100 miles away from Chicago? Or more importantly, far enough away from the lake to avoid the harshness. So all is well. :)  I will go for my walk at 8:30, then be back at the usual time. I Love You!  :):)

10:50 : I hope you had an enjoyable weekend and maybe had the chance to do something fun, like take photos. Mostly I hope everything is back on track. I predict we will have a wonderful holiday season, and that it will lead into an exciting New Year, which is only six weeks away now. Also........

.....somebody has a birthday coming up in a few days. :)

You will like turning 21, Elizabeth. It's a great age, and though numbers are arbitrary, this one confers total adulthood (whatever that means, lol). I guess what I mean is that, very simply, it is super cool to turn 21!

I always thought so, anyway, and I remember that sense of turning : from 19 into 20, and 20 felt special, maybe just because I have always been a numbers person. But then, 21 was 21.

For some reason, society chose that number as The Biggie, and so it really does feel special when you reach it. It feels like you have come through a special door, and are now a New You, with extra powers. You'll see.

Driving to Pearl's in the afternoons since the time change, I am noticing the quality of November light, very special and unique, and different even from the previous months light of October and September. Probably because of the angle of the Sun, this is when the backlighting begins. During late Spring and through Summer months, we get a lot of even-set lighting from directly overhead. In photography, I think Summer reflects the influence of the Sun itself. The light is golden and beautiful, and everything is awash in light. But when you get to September (and this is all from my perspective in Southern California, but may be true for you, too), you start to notice a reddish filter in the early evenings; what I call Roselight. Then in October, that quality turns starker, more outlined. It loses it's softness. October is about shadows and patterns, I can't put a color to it. But then, in November, comes the sidelighting. That's what I have noticed in the past few days on my drives to Pearl's in the afternoon. Here in the Valley, we have lots of trees, and though they don't have the fiery fall colors of the midwest and east, they do turn colors that are beautiful and rustic in their own way. And at certain times of the afternoon - just for an hour - those colors are sidelit. So in November, what is special about the light is that the Sun becomes a "support player" rather than the major influencer of color as it was in Summer. In November, it becomes painterly, and shines through nature rather than on it. The colors of nature are what is highlighted, in a rust orange light. The November light is quick to change, so you have to be ready for it, but it can help to produce some great photographs at specific times of the day.

We will have a great week ahead, my Angel. I Love You and will see you in the morning.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Please Read Asap (more added) (I Love You)

My Darling Elizabeth,

I just now saw your post on FB, and as relieved as I am to hear from you, I am also concerned about whatever has happened. I have been worried sick, but what is more important is that you are okay. So, please, please know that I am right here, by your side, and sending you good feelings and strength. I love you more than you could possibly imagine. I don't know how closely your experience of this week matches the words of that post from Humans Of New York, but I truly hope no one you know has attempted suicide. I pray that isn't the case. I will be here all day, because my sister is not coming over. I will be online at Pearl's, too. Please, please, please stay in contact, as you feel able to do so. Don't forget you have both my phone numbers if you ever, ever need them.

I will do anything for you, anything to help, I will always be strong for you.

Always means always.

I pray there has been no tragedy. I am standing by and will be right here.

I Love You, my Darling.  xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:05am : I just read the poem in it's entirety. I know that in this method of communication, your FB posts are often meant to convey a general message rather than a specific one, depending on the post, of course. A post like this, with a complex poem, obviously could not be a verbatim situation, so I am just taking it to mean, in general, that you had a rough week. But I also know that you probably picked that particular post for a reason, so again, I am hoping nothing terrible has happened.

This may have nothing to do with it, but I know that last week, after I wrote about my friend Steve, you posted a short poem about sitting under the stars, wondering if anyone would ever understand the galaxies of your heart. I think the words went something like that. Because you posted that right after I wrote about Steve, I wondered if that story had a negative effect on you. I know it was a very depressing story. As I said when I wrote it, I felt I had to do so, to tell my friend's side of the story. I guess I had to "write it out of my own heart", so to speak. I knew how sad a story it was (and is), but I could not have forseen it would have any serious effect on you. I am not speculating that it did, but if it did, I apologize. Mostly, as you know, I try to write about what is good in the world, because there is so much that is good.

But getting back to the poem, from Humans Of New York, I don't know if any of the specifics of that poem apply to whatever happened this week. All I do know, is that any situation can be gotten through. I know that from experience. Elizabeth, if you ever are feeling sad or depressed about anything, whether it is a specific circumstance or just a more general feeling of melancholy, please, please, please know that you are not for a moment alone. I understand all these feelings because I have been there. The good news is that you get stronger as you go along, and you are already a strong person, with so much heart, intelligence and wisdom. And you also have me, in addition to your family and friends, all the people who love and care about you very much. I will say again that I do look forward to the day when we can talk, because we will have a lot of great conversations. But even this way, we can connect on so many levels, so long as we stay connected .  Please, let's do so.  :)

Again, regarding the Humans Of New York poem, I will not try to attribute any of the poem's specifics to whatever transpired this week. If you want to tell me, you can. If not, I will just take it as a general message describing a difficult week. Just so long as everything is okay now, and that indeed no tragedy has taken place. Whatever the case may be, I will bear any burden with you, and for you, as I have said.

Adam  :):)

10:30pm : Hi Elizabeth. I hope you are feeling better this evening, and that the situation, whatever it may have been, has settled down. I wish for all good blessings for you and your family as well, and your friends too for that matter, because that is where our strength is reinforced in this world, through those bonds. The Humans Of New York poem alluded to the loss of a friend, and I truly hope that has not happened to you. But just in general, if it was a difficult week for stressful but non-tragic reasons, even if there was a degree of tragedy or sadness involved, what I want you to know is that, when I look at you, and look at your life, I see a lady who is headed for good things. You know how you like the word "contentment" better than "happiness"? Well, I feel the same way about "good" versus "great", which is why I say you are destined for a life of good things. "Great" implies world-beating ambitions, something aggressive, incessant and ego-driven. It infers pressure, and an intent focus on "success or failure". Some people are wired that way, but I think your makeup is different. One of the first things that drew me to you, and it may have been sublimnal at first, was your concentration and appreciation for what you were doing, playing your own compositions on the piano. I am talking about your original Youtube videos. In them, I could see right away a lady who knew who she was, what she was about. So many people don't know those things, my Darling. So many people get caught up in cyclones of other people's pressures, society's pressures, and that is precisely what causes stresses for so many people in life. But in your videos, knowing back then nothing about you, I saw immediately that this was a young lady who knew herself, with no confusion.

You reminded me of myself in that way.

That's why, in part, I say that you are destined for "good" things. "Good" is better than "great" because it knows itself. It doesn't seek to conquer, but to be at peace. It seeks to focus on a constant flow, a balance. I of course do not know all aspects of your personality, but the feeling I have about you is very similar to the way I felt about myself when I was your age (and please know that I hate that phrase, lol. It sounds sanctimonious. I only use it here because I was once your age :) )

It is a rare combination to possess high intelligence of the heart as well as the mind, and on top of that, to possess a high degree of self-knowledge as well, but you possess all those things, Elizabeth. You know who you are, and what you want, and what you don't want. I am telling you from experience that almost nobody has all these things. It is rarer than rare. To have psi on top of all that..........?

Well, you can see why I connected with you from literally the moment I saw you ("Autre Temps").

The spirit knows, the soul knows, even before the person knows. But the person knows subconsciously.

So for tonight, just know that you are a very strong person, a rare person. I don't mean strong in the outward sense of false assurance, but inwardly, where it is certain. You are someone who knows who she is, and what her life is, from the beginning. You will discover more and more what I mean as you go along. You will discover how connected to life you are. In these indescribable connections you will continue to gain strength, and you will define yourself. This is what I mean when I say you will have a "good" life.

You are just like me, very sensitive and intelligent. I have been "all over the map" emotionally, in my life. But those feelings were always on the inside, and as difficult as they were at times, they were always overshadowed by an inner strength of self . You have that too.

We do not cause our own pressures in this world, but we do react to other people's pressures. I know this from experience, and I am speaking of course of we who think and feel on a high level.

So that's all I know for tonight. But what I think is that, as long as we communicate, we can't go wrong.

I Love You, Elizabeth. Sleep well.     xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Is Everything Okay? (worried)

Hi Elizabeth,

I guess I should ask if there's something wrong, and if so, I wish you would tell me what it is. I mean, after yesterday, even though I've barely heard from you for a week, I thought everything was okay. So if that's the case, if everything is okay, please disregard, but this is very difficult for me, to just not hear anything and not know the reason why. I mean, I am pretty sure you're okay because you did post the Fursy thing, but if something had happened to you, I'd have no way of knowing. I know that's not the case, and thank God, but this is a similar feeling, to just have to wonder what is going on. I worry. You know I'm right here for you, and that I'll do anything for you. You know I love you. I am gonna go for part of my walk, just because I don't wanna do it all at once tonight. But I will be back from about 3:30 until 4:15, then I will be around at Pearl's and also tonight. I am thinking about you and hope to hear from you.

I Love You.   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:40pm : Elizabeth, I know you have suffered from migraines, and I am wondering if that is the problem, or possibly something associated with low blood sugar. I am worried. If you are not feeling well, please know that I am holding you in my heart and thinking about you. This is not good, to have no contact and no way to make contact in an emergency. You have both my numbers, and you can use them at any time. I said earlier that I can imagine how tough your schedule is, and when I was with the lab I worked a very tough schedule myself, so I know. That's why I have always wanted you to take good care of yourself and to make sure and eat properly and get enough sleep, etc. I'm not saying you don't, but I have read about the side effects of hypoglycemia, and they sound pretty rough. Migraines, too. My Mom had those, so I know how tough they are. I know how healthy you generally are, and it shows. But because I have no idea what is going on here, I worry that you may not feel good, and not want to tell me. I mean, heck, I have no way of knowing. I wish I was with you, because if I was, I'd take good care of you too, to make sure you always felt your best. I am good at that kind of thing, and it's how I maintain good energy myself. But I want to do it for you. When you are happy, I am on Cloud 9. I know you don't always like the word "happy" as a definition, so let's say when you are feeling at your best, your most contented. That feeling is tied to both mind and body, and I want you to feel that way all the time, or as much as possible.

I hope by now that you know I'm not just a guy on Facebook. I write everyday for you, even when I'm just talking about the boring details of an average day, because I love you. It's my way of being with you, writing for you. I have been so proud, and have felt so much joy, to see your own creativity blossom, and to see and feel your joy in taking pictures and playing music. I am beyond proud and happy that you are going to pursue your dreams, and that you will have the chance to study in Italy. Everything that has happened in our lives since the day we met has felt like such a blessing to me, and if I have had even a minor influence on your desire to pursue art, then I have been blessed yet again. Anything good I could ever do for you would be my dream.

But right now I am worried, and it is hard for me when this happens because I don't understand. For tonight that's all I wanted to say, but the main thing is that I am right here. When I say I will go through anything with you, I mean it. I want to help, to listen, to understand. Even if doing those things means just standing by your side and waiting. I look forward to the day when we can talk and hear each other's voices, but for now, the least we can do is not to shut each other out, but to reach out instead. So that's what I am doing, reaching out.

I Love You, Elizabeth. I hope you can feel it.  :):)

Fursy Rules (Art Couple) (Auteur Theory)

Okay, my Angel, I see that we both like Fursy. I know that is one of our methods of communication, when we both like the same post, so I guess everything is good. Fursy always means good vibes, every time. I have to go pick Pearl up from the hair salon in a few minutes, but I will be home from about 1:30 until 4:15pm and I will write more then.

You are so special to me, Elizabeth. And you know I love you, every minute, every day.
I will be back in a little while.    xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)  < from the heart.

2:40pm : I am just finishing up "Doctor Sleep". It was a great book, reminiscent of classic King from the 1980s, and all the stuff dealing with esp and thought transfer and even personality transfer was fascinating. SK is so much more than just a "horror writer". He is that, but he's also a man of tremendous insight.

Well, it's a weird day here. I am actually running my air conditioner because it's about 90 degrees outside. Real dry, too. Normally I wouldn't complain about it - the sun is out, after all - but it's just a little weird to still be experiencing Summer when we're halfway through fall. But I guess our seasons have been rearranged somewhat, probably because of global warming. So now, our Summer really doesn't begin until August and continues until Thanksgiving.

If I recall correctly, you guys had a ton of snow last year, so this year I wish you a perfect Winter, with just the right amount of snow to make a beautiful holiday season, and nice days to enjoy the landscape.

Tonight is movie night, we will be seeing Fassbinder's most well-known film, "The Marriage Of Maria Braun". I will be home about the usual time, 9:30 to 10pm.

I am thinking of the King book, and it is now lingering the way a good story does, and because the primary form of communication between the two main characters is telepathy, it makes me think of us. Now, telepathy is not our main form of communication (or maybe it is!), but we certainly do share it, and I think back to some of the short trips I have taken these past couple months, and the way I felt inside when I was at Garden Of The Gods, or Corriganville, or any of the others. Especially those two. It was like you were with me, and I don't mean just in spirit, but in a larger way. Can there be a larger way, larger than in spirit? Well, if there is such a thing, that was what it felt like. So that is part of our telepathy at it's most wonderful, it's most magical. It means everything to me, my Angel, to have good communication with you, and to share wonderful things together. It can be just little things, too, even ordinary things I do every day, like going for my walk. I like to feel you beside me.

Anyway, I'm just sayin'. I know you get busy sometimes, and going to school and working is a hell of a schedule to keep. Still, I'm always interested in what you're thinking, what you're feeling. And that's because you are a part of me, or more than that, we are a part of each other. That's what happens when two people love each other, they blend, they become One. Hence the telepathy and other feelings of shared experience.

Just remember, I'm always here for you, always interested in how things are going........you know : it's just like it would be if we were married - one of us would come home and say to the other, "Hi, Honey. How was your day"? And because we are an Art Couple, we would also be one of those couples who could both be in the living room, each working on a project, and at those times we could be silent or just telepathic, because we would feel each other's presence and love, we would feel our compatibility with one another.

That is something I can always picture, like a premonition : both of us in the same room, one playing, one writing. Or maybe one reading. But both in the same room, an Art Couple, communicating in so many subtle ways.

So we have that method, too. But it's all because we are so compatible, and because we share love, and we do it intuitively. So that's all I wanted to say for now. I am always interested in you, in all ways, because with you, there is Us. Nothing in this world could be more special.

I Love You, Elizabeth.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back this eve after the movie)

11:20pm : Sorry I'm so late, but I needed to finish my walk after the movie. This week's film was a good one, as opposed to last week. A commentary on post-war Germany and that society's effort to re-establish itself and to immediately forget it's Nazi past. Fassbinder has a style that gives all his films a similar quality, like a "career theme", and I think that's true of all the best directors. Every artist, in any field, has something they want to express - something specific - and no matter how many forms that expression takes, there is always that theme present. In the work of the post-war European filmmakers, there was often an aspect of "home movies" to their work, meaning that, though the films were always professional and often artistically superior, the director (and especially a guy like Fassbinder) operated with no oversight, no pressure to make a polished "studio picture" ala Hollywood. Now, I love Hollywood (at least the Hollywood of old), and I love studio pictures of all kinds. But, when you look at the films from the classic European era, from the late 40s to the early 80s (and most of the classics were produced in the 50s and 60s), there is an emphasis on the underpinnings of a story, the psychology behind it, as interpreted by one person : the Director.

And the technological aspects are secondary, though not neglected. The photography is often first rate, yet not tricked-out with overly saturated lighting, the sets look like "real life".

In the films of Fassbinder, or Jean-Luc Godard, there is much to observe about pure artistic filmmaking, where the director is working for himself. That is called the Auteur Theory, the idea that a film is, and should be, entirely the vision of one person - the director. Many people don't care for European films (and I am talking mostly about the classic Auteur period), but if you develop an appreciation for them, they can show a whole new way to think about creativity, from an inner viewpoint. In a way, it goes back to my own Emily Dickinson theory of creativity, the idea of creating for one's self, first and foremost. She wrote, and then put her poems in a drawer. They were always destined to become known, but that wasn't the point. The point was that she had total control over her art, and by locking herself down in that way - by staying within herself - she remained in control with no interference. Then she stuffed the poems in a drawer.

Fassbinder (and Godard, and others) knew they'd have their films in theaters (at least a few art houses), but they made films the same way Emily Dickinson wrote poems, by placing the inspiration at the forefront of importance.

Inspiration is all-important, and it only lasts as long as it is being felt. You can't re-create inspiration.
It's an impulse sensation, and that's why, so they say, Fassbinder worked so quickly, making 2 to 3 films per year, and in one stretch, 14 films in three years. Now, some could do that just for the sake of doing it, and the films would be junk. But Fassbinder was working from inspiration . He had many things he wanted to say (all conforming unconsciously to a single theme), but he knew that to capture the essense of these stories, they had to be filmed immediately, while the inspiration was still being felt. This is the sense one gets when one watches the films of the classic European period. You may or may not appreciate any given film, but you can see the inspiration present, and it is a singular inspiration. One person's vision, distilled.

So, my Angel, that's all I know for tonight. When in creative mode, let your innermost inspirations and impulses guide you.

I Love You.   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Thinking Of You

Hi, my Darling,

I hope all is well. I didn't write earlier because I haven't heard much from you, and I didn't wanna just recite the details of my day, which was pretty ordinary. So, I am just checking in to let you know that I'm thinking about you, and will follow your lead. I'm right here if you need me. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

El Scorpion Park

Good Evening, my Darling,

I'm just getting home from Pearl's. It was a typical Tuesday except to my trip out to El Scorpion Park. I had actually discovered that place about a month ago, when I heard a lady on the Boeing tour I went on at Santa Susana Field Lab talking about caves at the end of Vanowen Street. I Googled it and discovered one cave, the Cave Of Munits. So today I finally drove out there. It's about 9 miles from Northridge, so a little further than the Chatsworth rock sites I've been going to. It's south of Chatsworth in a place called Bell Canyon. Once you get to the place where Vanowen Street dead-ends, there is a sign for El Scorpion Park, and you go through an opening in the chain link. Then, you follow a trail about 3/4ths of a mile. It's mostly pretty flat, with some hills to hike over. One thing you notice is the dead silence, which is awesome. In some spots, there is a low hum of bees, and if it were Spring I am sure the place would be swarming with them. I would not make the trip then, lol.

I was excited when I finally spotted the cave, because I have wanted to see one ever since I read about Indian history in the Valley earlier this year. I was the only person on the trail, so I was able to get as close as about 100 feet to the opening and just stand there in the total silence, soaking up the vibe. As I said in my photo caption, it was too steep for me to go any further. I needed boots. But just to get a feel for the place was cool. So, I discovered another park. My favorite is still Corriganville, but this park had it's own special feeling. The rest of the day was the usual stuff, driving back and forth, etc.

I hope your day was good, and that all is well. I am gonna hang out till about 8:30, then go on my walk. Then I'll be back as usual.

I Love You!    xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11pm : In your picture, I like the fact of the small icecicles on the twigs, like a prelude. I guess it is not unusual to have ice already forming in Great Lakes country in November. We are just now seeing our version of the trees turning, mostly rust colors but still pretty.

The world is a beautiful place.  :)

Well, I will wish you sweet dreams and will see you in the morning. I Love You.   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Sparks Tonight (home again)

Good Afternoon, my Angel,

I am guessing you have the day off, cause CSUN is closed for Veteran's Day and I imagine all schools are. So, you are probably out doing something fun, maybe taking pictures or something. I'm going to see Sparks tonight in Hollywood. Grimsley and I are gonna drive to the subway station in North Hollywood and take the Red Line, because it's easier than trying to find parking down there. I will leave right after my evening Pearl shift. There is no opening act, and they'll probably play about 2hrs, so if they finish by 11pm I should be home no later than 12:30 after dropping Grim off. So, I will check in to say goodnight, even though I know it will be very late. For now, I will be around until about 3 or so, then I am gonna go for an early walk since I can't do it tonight. I will also be around at Pearl's, on Chromebook 2.

I hope you are enjoying your day. I Love You!   xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

12:30am : I got home from the show a few minutes ago. I know you are asleep, but you can read this tomorrow morning and the love I will send you now will be waiting for you when you wake up. It was a fantastic show, just the two Mael brothers, sans band. It's hard to believe I first saw those guys 38 years ago. Live, they are as good as it gets. Their music is different, to be sure, but they have always been one of my very favorite bands.

I got home at a reasonable hour, too, so I am happy. I love concerts that I can take the subway to. It makes everything so much easier.

I hope you had a nice day, my Angel. I will see you in the morn.

I Love You So Much!  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Wisconsin Movies (more added)

Happy Sunday, my Baby,

I'm just getting back home from doing the Kobester CSUN thing. He always has such a blast up there, then when I get him home he passes out. Then he will be re-energized when I go back at 4:30. He will greet me with a flurry of barks.

Now to tidy up the pad and engage in a little more Cricket Control. I still haven't defeated the pesky things yet, but their appearances have at least dwindled, thank goodness. But, a little perimeter control is in order. I hope your day is going well. That post of the cow in front of the building and your comment, "So Wisconsin", reminded me of one of my favorite movies. It is called "Our Vines Have Tender Grapes". Now, I don't think that many people would know about that movie nowdays - it was made in 1945 - but it really is a classic in an old-fashioned way. It stars Edward G. Robinson as the head of a Norwegian family who have a farm in Wisconsin. Margaret O'Brien co-stars as his little daughter. She was a great child actress, my Mom loved her movies which is how I heard about this one. Anyway, it is a simple story about a family and their farm. Then nature intervenes and causes a crisis for the family, but basically it is the kind of old fashioned film they don't make anymore, but they should! So there is a Wisconsin movie for you.

Another one I discovered earlier this year by accident. It was way back in January, I think. Sometimes I will drive to other nearby libraries in search of movies I haven't seen, and at one of 'em (can't remember which) I found a movie called "Come And Get It". This one was even earlier, from 1936, but I love old movies so I checked it out. Also, it starred Frances Farmer, an actress who became legendary because of her rebellion against the forces of Hollywood (which ruined her life, but that's a long story. They made a movie of it, called "Frances", which won Jessica Lange an Oscar). There aren't too many movies available with Frances Farmer, and this one was directed by Howard Hawks, a very great director who was from Goshen, Indiana (just like my Dad), so that was another connection. I didn't know what it was about, but when I popped it in the player I discovered it was very interesting. It was the story of a man in Wisconsin who started out as a lumberjack, and wound up as the head of the logging industry there. I think it was set in northern Wisconsin, but they used some stock footage of real logging operations from the time, and there were a lot of location shots from the area. It was another movie of the type they don't make anymore, but they should.

And, it was also set in Wisconsin. I guess logging was an enormous industry there at one time, one which built huge fortunes for a few men.

Anyway, there are two Wisconsin movies for you, and one of them is one of my all-time favorites.  :)

I will be back in a little bit. Enjoy your afternoon!

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:10pm : I am listening to the Brahms piece I just posted. I was looking for a version I heard today on KUSC by Emanuel Ax that was just sublime, but this one is good too. All in all, a nice quiet Sunday evening. I hope you enjoyed yours as well. I Love You.      xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Tickets (Wow!) (Italy)

Happy Saturday Morning, my Angel,

Now that I think of it, I did have a problem once with tickets, but it was an electronic one rather than regular mail. I think it was for one of the "Exorcist" plays I went to last year. I didn't wanna say on FB that it's partially because people are lame, and it may not be fair to say that, but it's also partially true or at least more true than it used to be. Especially when you say that this has happened to you more than once. That is just plain somebody not being on the ball. Now, you can always print your tickets out either at home, or if you don't have a printer (like me) you can print 'em at the library or at school. I am like you; I prefer hard tickets, real tickets, cause I like them as souveniers, too. And for me, I have never had a problem with mail (though I have had several with Half.com, Ebay and Amazon). But if you wanna make sure, print 'em yourself. This info can be filed under Stuff You Already Know, haha.

What show are you going to? Whatever it is, it will be a blast!

I am gonna go meet my sister at Northridge Library, and then we are gonna go shopping, so I will see you later this afternoon. Go Badgers! Can they beat BYU by 8 points? I think so. They are playing at home, so I don't think it'll be close.

See you in a while. I Love You. Have an awesome afternoon!

xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)



7:20pm : Wow, so you are gonna be going to school in Italy? That is mega. Is it part of a UW program or an entirely different school? I am guessing that's what you meant when you mentioned going abroad a couple weeks ago. Well, it will be quite a lifetime experience. That's huge news, so congratulations!

I am gonna hang out for a bit, then go for my walk and will be back at the usual time, about 9:30pm.

I Love You. Glad you had fun at the concert!    xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:40pm : Well, my Darling, that is going to be a very special experience for you, a great atmosphere to study photography. Think of all the great picture opportunities there will be! I am happy for you. You know, my Dad spent a lot of time in Italy during the war, and besides Naples, which he enjoyed but which was then (and probably still is) very poor, he always talked about Florence. He would say, yeah, Rome is great, but Florence was the heart of Italian culture, the Renaissance, music. They have great food, too! I don't know firsthand, of course, but am going by what my Dad always said. I am pretty sure my sister Vickie has been there, too, and her son Andrew (my nephew, one of my FB friends). So that means I'll have to go, too!

We'll go together, and you will know the city so you can show me. It will be super romantic.  :):)

You will take beautiful pictures during your stay, and it will be a great experience.

Today was just shopping and doing my Pearl shifts. I will get back to my day trips soon, and take some more photos myself. About your concert, did you mean that you never got your ticket in the mail for this concert, the one you went to today? I hope you didn't have to buy another ticket to replace it. Anyway, I am sure you can straighten it out and get a refund if that happened. Glad it was a good show.

That's all I know for tonight, so I will wish you Sweet Dreams and see you in the morning. I Love You.

xoxoxoxoxoxo :):)

Let's Do Lunch :):) (Hi from Pearl's) (music) (Jimi)

Good Morning, Sweet Baby,

Happy Friday, too. Just hanging at home, reading doing dishes, etc. I do dishes to take a break from "Doctor Sleep". It's so good I have to force myself to put it down. I also see the Megatone post about the pizza and wings, and that's a form of hypnosis, too, haha. One of my friends (Bill on FB) runs a little restaurant, and he is constantly posting photos of all kinds of good stuff : pizza, sandwiches, cheeseburgers, salads. The way he photographs it makes you wanna drive right over and place an order.

If there is one thing I love to do, it's eat. So let's get a pizza! I'll meet ya for lunch.  xoxoxoxoxo :):)

(back in a bit, after we have lunch...........)

4:45pm : Good Evening, my Darling. I'm writing from Pearl's. Kobedoggie always greets me with plenty of barks, which translate to "Feed me"! So that's the first thing I always do. Lately I feed the Black Kitty, too. I think she's (I think of her as a she) feral, cause she won't come out until I put the food in her bowl and leave. She hangs out in Pearl's tool shed, which she enters and exits through a warp in the roof. Anyhow, she sure has an appetite! Then I will help Pearl with her mail. She loves Anderson Cooper, so we will watch him while we do the mail.

Your brother is, as always, a funny guy. :D The Rapture looks kinda like an Alien Abduction, lol.

Well, I just wanted to say hi and I Love You. Hope your weekend is off to a good start.

xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm:  I've been watching videos of this pianist, Shura Cherkassky, whom I hadn't heard of before a couple days ago. He has an unusual style, it's cluttered yet spacious, but as you listen you get drawn in. My favorite classical piano players are all from the Romantic era : Kempff, Lipatti, Cortot, and I do like this Cherkassky quite a bit. A few of the videos are from performances given just a few months before he died, and I find it fascinating that a person could be aged, or perhaps with an illness, near the end, and still perform with such life. It says quite a bit about the life-giving force of music, especially for the one through whom it is channeled, but also for the listener, to whom it is carried.

One day we will enjoy music together.

I Love You, my Darling, Sweet Dreams.  xoxoxoxo  :):)

12:25pm : I just saw your post, so I had to check back in : Well, my girl, you know that Jimi shares your birthdate. That's as cool as it gets, and more than that, there is a channel that you share. There was no one ever like Jimi, and the same goes for The Chairman. Sinatra was a Sag, too. So there you go.

You've got it, my Lady!  :):)

Afternoon Xs & Os (to Pearl's) (more added)

Good Afternoon, my Darling,

It was a busy morning, back and forth to a church meeting, then the hair salon, lots of waiting around. But now I'm home until 4:15. Still didn't get a chance to connect the Chromebook at Pearl's, but I hope to do it this afternoon. Anyhow, I am just gonna chill for a little bit, but I wanted to see how your day was going and tell you that I love you. I'll check back in before I head to Pearl's. You saw the release date for "Shelter", right? January 21st. Great news indeed!

Many hugs and kisses : xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

4pm : Okay, my Baby, I am gonna head over to Pearl's in a minute. I'll try to get the Chromebook working. Tonight is movie night, so I will be going to the Cinematheque right after Pearl's. They are gonna show Fassbinder's "Satan's Brew", which I haven't seen. It's a comedy, a different style for him, so it'll be interesting to see if it works or not. I'll be back right after the movie is over, which should be in the 9:45-10pm range. Enjoy your evening, and hopefully I can connect at Pearl's. I Love You!

xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11pm : Well, that movie was an experience. It might be more apt to call it a trial, lol. I have liked all of the Fassbinder movies I've seen so far, to various degrees, but this one........it was difficult to make it all the way through, to be honest. Two hours of people running around and acting crazy, like chickens with their heads cut off. I guess it was supposed to be some kind of avant-garde slapstick, and it might have worked - might being the key word - if it had been a 70 minute film. But after two hours, my brain felt like it had been put through a wood chipper. Needless to say, I do not recommend "Satan's Brew". :)

I got my 2nd Chromebook plugged in at Pearl's, so I am back to having a connection during work hours.

I hope you had a nice day, my Angel. I will see you in the morning.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Galaxies (Love added) (Flutists) (CDs) (Meteoric)

My Angel Elizabeth,

I want to sit with you under the stars, and know the galaxies inside your heart. I want to know and make sense of all that you are, and hope you will want to make sense of me, too.

It's all I want to do in the whole world. Honest.

I Love You More Than Words Can Say, and I'd give anything to be with you at this moment.

Love, Adam     xoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:45am : I'm back. I hope you are feeling okay. I hadn't heard much from you since you went to the concert on Saturday, and I just figured you had homework and other stuff to do. Then on Monday I wrote that story. As I said, I felt compelled to write it because the newspaper article didn't tell the whole story. As for the details about my own life, I knew that bringing them up wasn't the most pleasant thing to write about, but I figured you knew most of those things anyway, at least in general if not the specifics. I hope you are not mad at me for telling that story, and I hope you don't think I'm a weird or creepy person. I'm not, you know. I'm the same guy you already know. There's only one Me.  :)

I have always said that you can tell me anything, if you want to. If you ever feel stressed, frustrated or depressed about anything, I understand all those feelings and will always listen to you and bear any burden with you and for you. If you ever feel unsure or vague about life, or the future, I know those feelings too. You are never alone, not even for a second. If, on a few nights, I have ever only written a brief "goodnight" message, it was only because I had nothing very interesting to report on my end, and was not able to make conversation because I didn't hear from you. If I don't hear from you for a few days, I don't always know what to say, how to respond. At first, I usually just figure you are busy, but I always wonder if everything is okay, too, meaning okay at home, okay at school and work, etc. I hardly ever write such a long story about my life in the past, or people I knew, but when I do - because the details are often a bit unusual - I wonder if you are okay about me, too. If you will think poorly of me. All I can say is that my life has been what it has been, and I'm here now, and you know me now. I have told you about my life, because it was already up there on Myspace, and more importantly because I love you. So you should know about my life. Mostly, though, what I am, what my life has been, has been exceedingly normal. I'm an even-keel, normal guy.

I do like to write, though. I like all things creative, and since I met you, my desire to be creative has really come to life. Creative people like us, because we think and feel things deeply, can sometimes have anxieties about life, sometimes vague feelings about life's direction. What I have learned, and I think I said this to you a while back, is that life - when you really think about it - is merely a series of days and hours. When looked at that way - life as ongoing compartments of time - it can help you to "live in the now" (as they say), and not worry about the past or future. When you think of life as days and hours, you can say, "man, this is a beautiful afternoon", or "this piece of music is fantastic", or "boy, the birds are really making a racket this morning". You can pick out little things, isolated things that make a day or an hour special. That's what life is.

Best of all, when you love someone, and when you are loved, you can say to yourself (if you are me, for instance), "I wonder what Elizabeth is doing right now? Probably in class or working. It's so great to have her in my heart, because no matter where I am, she is with me too".

I want to be with you in real life, so that we can share these days and hours together. But in the meantime, we can share everything in the way we have been. But the main thing to know is that we are both strong, happy people. When I write a story like I just wrote, it doesn't mean I am re-living it, or re-living the emotions. You could say I was channelling them, in this case through Steve, because he got left out of the story about the baseball movie. But once I wrote it, it's written, and I'm the same Me that you always know.

It's like if a musician plays a sorrowful tune in concert, then after the show he goes home and has a normal evening with his family. Or if an actor plays a sad scene on a movie set, then goes and has lunch with the crew. Same deal here. I know that, as an Artist, you understand that feeling. You can be inspired to write a very moving piano piece, and be completely immersed in the mood of the music while writing it, and then when you are done, or even in between on a break, you can go for a happy walk in the sun, and listen to the birds sing.

The difference with us is that We Are Strong. Some artists, some friends, some people in general, aren't as strong. Some of my friends didn't make it this far in life, and I think about them and hold them in my heart and in my memory. But I am different, and for that I am grateful. I have always had an optimism about life, because I don't see life in terms of society and expectations and pressures and artificially created psychological systems. I have always seen it as days and hours, and what an amazing and beautiful world we live in.

That vision is what I have always tried to share with you. Of course, you know I have a practical and responsible side, as well. But that side is automatic. Where I actually live is in the Days and Hours Side.

Life is magic, Elizabeth. The more you go on, the more you will see just how true that is. I don't mean all the "stuff" going on everywhere, I just mean Life.

You are never alone, you have me everywhere you go, all the time. I know you, and you are a strong and happy and optimistic person like me. But I am always here to listen, and to be with you, in any case.

You changed my life, you are my Miracle, I thank you, and I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxo :):)

(I've gotta pick Pearl up at 1pm, but will be around before and after that).......  :)

2:15pm : That's us! We're flute players, we can survive anything. :):) And the thing is, 99% of the time we do it effortlessly, because we can see the magic. There is something interesting, I have found, about being sensitive to the magic, and it's that there is a promise behind it. I guess what I mean is that perhaps an "average" person (even though there is no such thing, but you get the idea of what I mean) just sees the ordinary stuff in life. For an average person, life is mostly about the practical and tangible; jobs, promotions, bills, cable packages, home improvements, savings, retirement. And that's all fine. Nothing wrong with that. That's what people are trained to do, to operate in a societal way, as part of a society. I've written about all of this before, and you know that I accept the parts of that way of life that are necessary; getting the bills paid, taking care of business and all.

But for people who are not average, who don't think of life in just the material or societal sense, but think of something much, much bigger, there is this feeling that we get from constantly pulling back the curtain to see what's on the other side. We get the persistent feeling of incredible promise, that if we just keep following the path we are on - a path that can meander, we don't always know it's direction - that there will be something there, many things actually, that will be amazing. The promise is Mystery; Curiosity and Mystery are the carrot and the stick. We who are sensitive (emotionally & psychically, sensitive in all ways really) live behind the scenes, behind the everyday goings-on. We are constantly pulling the curtains back, being curious, seeking mystery. And as we go along, we sense the growing feeling of incredible Promise.

It's awesome, really. It's what the Magic is, that unknown Promise. Along the way, we see all the amazing stuff, and more importantly we feel it. I can be at Corriganville, or you can be at one of your Special Places, and all we have to see is a shadow move a certain way, or feel the coolness of the air in a sudden temperature drop in a group of trees. We feel those things and we are transported, straight into the Magic.

A lot of folks might be in such a place and have a nice day.

You and I experience Enchantment. It's no exaggeration. We don't force it, or try to feel it. It just happens.

Along the way, because we are sensitive and because life is life, there are periods when the mood can change color, darken a little bit. But for us, these periods are brief, because we know how to remedy them. We recognize them as things going on around us. Not inside us. Sometimes we absorb a bit of their essence, and then we can feel a bit off.

But then we remember our own essence , what we are made of, how we see and live life.
And we know that things are just fine, and will always be so. Because for us, Life is Magic.

xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back in a bit)

7:25pm : That is right on about musicians and money. And it should be applied to the consumer, too. Hey people, if you want quality music, buy the albums, either on CD or from iTunes or wherever. One of my favorite artists, Steve Howe from Yes, was talking about how an album release used to be an event - the highly anticipated new music, the album artwork, the lyrics. Now, everything gets leaked, people bootleg the album or steal it, it sells far fewer copies and very often a new release is forgotten about not long after it is released. Then a domino effect happens. A band will just make a half hearted effort at writing new music, because they know it's just gonna get stolen and downloaded even before they can put it out.

I know that in the 90s, and even ten years ago, CDs were way overpriced, 18 bucks and such. Some still are, but nowdays a price like that usually applies to a deluxe edition with all kinds of extras and fantastic artwork. Many CDs now, regular editions, are only 10 or 12 bucks. If you legally download from Amazon or iTunes, an album is 8 or 9 bucks. That's not much to pay to keep your favorite artists in business, and caring about the quality of the music they put out. Albums should be an event!

Speaking of which, did you get the new Russian Circles? You probably have. I just now heard the samples at Amazon, and it sounds great. Lately, I've been spending all my "fun money" on DVDs (cause movies rule, too), but I will have to catch up on some albums, the RC being one of them. They are touring eastern Europe right now, but will no doubt come to America shortly.

Well, the mailman finally delivered my 2nd Chromebook today. I took it to Pearl's, then didn't have time to set it up, but I will do it tomorrow morn, then I will be connected during work hours once again. I am now gonna hang out for a little bit, go on my walk at 8:30, then be back for the rest of the evening.

I Love You, my Darling.    :):) Us  =  :D Me

11:15pm : I've been reading "Doctor Sleep" since I got back from my walk. It's a page turner, Stephen King has always been great (my favorite author), but in recent years he's honed his style and doesn't need pages and pages of words to describe a scene. He was always able to keep a story moving forward, but now he's really tightened it up. There is an aspect to this book that is fascinating to me, and that is the psychic connections he describes between the main characters. King is a genius, and he knows so much about what makes people tick, especially people who are extraordinary or different, and he knows so much about psychic phenomena. In this book, there is a lot of telepathy described, very precisely too, he describes the mechanics of it. It's a horror story, of course, and if you haven't read King, he is as horrific as it gets. He pulls no punches. But he also knows so much about the human condition, and in this book he talks about "sending and receiving". Do you ever feel you are a little bit psychic? Or maybe more than a little bit?

"Doctor Sleep" got me thinking about it. When we met, I felt a very strong psychic connection to you, like a "pull". I talked about that a lot last year. You and I seem to have an unspoken aspect to our communication that is very powerful. I think about it a lot, and it fascinates me. The way we met, how we hit it off immediately, the way we meshed intuitively, the way we have been able to communicate symbolically. It's interesting to consider. It's like we could be on two different planets and still find each other.

We have "Radar Love", like the song says.  :):)

Other than that, I am just listening to KUSC like I do in the evenings.

They are saying that a meteor appeared in the sky tonight over Southern California. I didn't see it, but I feel the same exhilaration with you.

Sweet Dreams, my Angel. I will see you in the morning.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)