Just Hi & I Love You & A Thought Or Two (No Pressure, No Worries)

Hi Elizabeth,

I am at Pearl's, so I don't have as much time to write as when I'm at home, but I just wanted to say that I saw your post a little while ago. I guess it's meant for me, but because she makes several different points in her advice, I don't know exactly how I am meant to interpret it, or how literally to take it. I wanted to post now, because when I leave Pearl's, I am going to North Hollywood with Grimsley to see the "Super Duper Alice Cooper" movie, which is only playing in one theater for this one night. I just didn't want you to wonder, if I was not able to write at 7pm as I usually do, if I had seen your post, and what my response was.

For now, all I can say is that I will home from the movie around 10pm or so, and I will write more then. I guess if I were to take the post verbatim, word for word, then it's pretty self-explanatory. But again, I don't know if that's what you want me to read into it.

Anyway, for me of course, everything is good and so no worries. You know I love you. But, if you want me to, I will offer some thoughts on the Taya Iv post later tonight.

I hope you had a good day and are enjoying your evening. I will see you in a little while. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:20pm : Hi again. I'm writing a little bit earlier just in case you are still awake. We never did get in to see the Alice Cooper movie. Grimsley had said he was gonna buy the tickets and that he would be there when I arrived. North Hollywood is in the Valley, but way at the other end, so it's 15 miles away, and because of all the traffic and red lights and such, it takes almost 45 minutes to get there. I got there around 7:15. No Grimsley. He drove up a few minutes later but hadn't bought advance tickets, so I went to the box office and - sure enough - it was sold out. So, I got in my car and drove 45 minutes back home. Ah, well. No harm done. I'll do what I should have done in the first place: wait for the dvd to come out. Some movies you have to see in the theater, but this wasn't one of them. It's a documentary, not anything cinematic, and can be seen on a TV screen........

Well, anyway, just to get back to what I was saying earlier about the Taya Iv post, I assume you meant it for me, and if you did, then maybe you are deciding how you feel about me. That's just a guess, not a statement of fact, but I only mention it because of the line in that post that says "is this the person you want to love"? And when I say "maybe you are deciding", it's because she uses that word in her post as well. And I also say "maybe" because again, I don't know. There are other lines in that post, about kindness, compassion, living the life you want to live, etc. I just singled out the line about love because, if the post was meant for me to see, then that is the line that would most pertain to me.

Elizabeth, one thing I have always wanted you to know, is that with me there is no pressure. I have always tried to convey that to you, and in all ways, not just in affairs of the heart between you and I. I have always encouraged you to follow your heart in life, even way back when you were planning to go into the field of linguistics but weren't sure it was the thing for you. To watch you follow your heart via your many artistic talents has been a joy for me, really a beautiful thing.

So I encourage you to follow your heart in all ways, and if that line in that post was meant for me, or if it refers to me, all I can do is to tell you how I feel from my end, which I always do. But for you, well, only you know how you feel. There is never any pressure from me, nor any need to worry. I love and support you no matter what.

Sometimes, if you just let some time pass, and keep doing what you do - what makes you happy - things sort themselves out. I don't want to overanalyse this issue too much, because I am only guessing from the one post, and you have also recently posted a few "baby" pictures, which I of course interpret positively every time. So I don't want to make too much of today's post, just analysing from my end.

What I do want you to know, however, is what I have already said, and that is mainly that I Love You and support you in every way. So don't worry about anything. Just allow yourself to see how you feel about things, whether they have to do with me, or with life in general, or both, and I guarantee that things will work out if you just follow your heart.

And remember, you are never alone. You always have somebody who loves you, who cares about you, who cares about your life, and who is always right here when needed. That's me! :)

So that's all for tonight. No worries.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Hope All Is Well (sweet dreams)

Good Evening, Awesome Lady,

I am just getting home so I wanted to say hi and see how you are doing. I am guessing you are busy with schoolwork. Maybe the movie, too? Are you guys allowed to do post-production work after the initial 48 hours are up? I know your screening is on Thursday, and that will be an exciting day. :)

It was a hot one here today, and I didn't do any of my walk yet, so I will do the whole doggone thing later on. Right now it's time to relax. I hope your day was good and that all is well.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back later)

11:25pm : I am listening to Kodaly, a modern composer. His piano music is interesting in a background, passive listening way.

I did complete my entire walk, and now I am tired, so I will wish you sweet dreams. And, I will see you in the morning. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Catching Up

Good Evening, my Darling,

I took a short nap just now upon getting home. Still catching back up on sleep after the Sabbath concert. I bet you are catching up, too, after your film and with the probable homework and studying for upcoming finals. I'll bet you have been tired as well. :)

The plumbers finally filled in all the trenches and are done with the job, so as of tomorrow I'll be back on a regular schedule at Pearl's. Right now I am gonna hang out until 8:30, then go for my walk. I'm reading my book about Rendlesham Forest.

I'll be back at the usual time. I Love You!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

A Sno-Cone For Two :):) (A Good Weekend)

I just had to check in to say : I Love My Sweet Baby! And, I love, love, love that picture. It is a picture perfect day for a sno-cone and I want to share one with you. I Love You, Elizabeth.

You are probably in the final hours of your film, and I know you are knocking it out of the park, so I will let you finish. I just got back from CSUN with The Good Boy, and I also got all Pearl's dishes done and got the kitchen cleaned up. It's amazing (and a little alarming) how things can degrade pretty quickly without running water, but all is ship-shape now. So, I am gonna run to the store for a few things and I'll be back later. And, I'll of course be around from 4:30 onwards.

You Rule! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : Today was all about getting caught up with Regular Stuff after the plumbing setback and yesterday's concert. So now I am tired and listening to the Sibelius piano music, of which I had not heard before. I do like Sibelius as a composer, though. He wrote something called "The Lemminkainen Suite", which is one of my favorite pieces in all of classical music.

I'll bet you are really tired, too, and probably asleep. 48 hours is a tough filming schedule! I think I wrote this before, but I remember my brother's best friend had a three day weekend to complete his final film project for UCLA, and they filmed at our house, and there were people sleeping in the living room, setting stuff up at all hours, people practicing their lines, the camera guy walking around. It was crazy.

It was eighteen hour days, just like you did.

I bet you guys are excited to see the finished product. And I hope you win at the end of the contest. :)

That's all I know for tonight, my Baby. I will see you in the morning. I Love You!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

I Love You From Pearl's (Black Sabbath)

Good Evening, my Darling,

You are no doubt working on your film, so just a quick I Love You while I am still at Pearl's. I am gonna leave for the concert from here at 6:30. Very cool that you guys drew the sci-fi genre! Now you can make a film with flying saucers and aliens, lol. Or, you can do something ala "Star Wars"! Well, I'm sure you are having a blast. I will soon be doing the same, and I am glad it's not raining tonight. I will write more when I get home, probably about midnight or 12:30. It'll be late, but I'll be here.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

12:30am : I am back, though you are probably asleep as it is very late. The show was pretty awesome. The amount of time is what blows me away the most. I first saw these guys 40 years ago this month. I mean, who does anything for that amount of time, let alone does it at the top of their game? When I was younger, we used to hear about guys like Frank Sinatra, who was still playing gigs in the early 80s after starting in the 40s. And nothing against The Chairman (because you know I love him), but he was not at the top of his game after the late 60s, really. There are some movie stars who have done it for 40 years, but even once-great actors like DeNiro have become parodies of themselves. So it's all the more amazing for rock n' rollers to do it, and especially guys like Black Sabbath, who by all rights should have been dead or finished as artists years ago, what with all the drugs & drink and everything else they've been through.

But there's something about the music, and the enduring loyalty of the fans, that creates a determination of spirit in artists like these. They seem not only indestructible but also fueled by what they have created, and intent on maintaining it at the highest level.

At any rate, even though it wasn't a full reunion, and only 3/4 of the group, it really was fantastic.

Something about the way time works, just blows me away. And the way things come full circle, and the power of certain artists and their catalogues, and their personal charismas.....

I will add more thoughts on the subject tomorrow, and hopefully this plumbing debacle will be overwith. I hope your film has been not only fun but successful thus far, and I am sure it has been both. :)

I will see you in the morn. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Baby, Baby (Hectic)

Good Morning, Sweet Baby,

I'm writing from Pearl's. When I got here this morn there was water gushing down the driveway, into the gutter and all down the street. A pipe in the front lawn had burst. So now, we are just waiting on the plumber to fix it. He dug a hole and located the break, and now has driven off to get the replacement parts. So, I may be here a while. We were gonna take The Kobester to Balboa Park, and maybe we still will if the plumber finishes by 1pm or so. Anyhow, it could be an all-dayer here at Pearl's. We'll see. Right now I am listening to the 80s retro-station to pass the time. Kobi is grumbling. He did help me feed The Black Kitty earlier, though.

I love the pic of the babies with pacifiers! That's us : Two Babies.  :):)

Anyhow, just to check in and say I Love You! And, best of luck with the start of your film tonight. :)

I'll be back to write more later, most likely after 6:30 when I get home. And I'll be around on FB until the plumber is done.

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo :):)

11:20pm : I hope all went well with your film project. Things were a bit hectic here. The plumbing repair turned into a very expensive job of digging a big trench across the front yard, all the way to the water main, to replace 60 year old pipes. They aren't done yet, hopefully tomorrow, Monday at the latest. I took Pearl & Kobi to Balboa Park this eve, to get away from it all for a little bit.

Tomorrow will be better: More film project for you, and Black Sabbath for me. A good day ahead.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Avocados Are A Must (Sweet Dreams)

Good Afternoon, my Darling,

I'm checking in real quick to say hi, and also to tell you that You Are Awesome and I Love You. I am gonna go run to the store in a few minutes, cause I'm all out of avocados, and you know that's an intolerable situation, haha. Then when I come back I'll go for my afternoon walk. Hopefully it'll be a little cooler by then. Tonight is the Thursday Movie, of course, and we are gonna see Ray's "The Chess Players", another one I haven't seen, and it's supposed to be one of his best. It's another long one, about 2hrs. 10 mins., so I should be home about 10 to 10:15 pm.

I see by your post that the enthusiasm for school is all gone. If I am not mistaken, the same thing happened last year at about this time. I say don't worry, just coast through the rest. You'll still get straight As! My own enthusiasm for school ran out in 11th grade, lol........(good grief, Ad, get a grip).  ;)

Well, time to go get those avocados. I'll write more later tonight, but will be around at Pearl's, too, 4:30 to 6:30.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : I am back, after the movie and then a late night walk. "The Chess Players" was good, though more of a satire/big budget Ray, and less a meditative or gut-level Art Film. Still, the guy can seemingly do no wrong. It's the story of the British takeover of an Indian province, via their East India Company. The King of this province is a poet and songwriter and is thus viewed as ineffectual (i.e. a wimp) by the bullish Brit overlord, and so he is given a choice; to abdicate or be overthrown by force. Meanwhile, the other half of the story is carried by the two Chess Players, wealthy landowners who want nothing more than to be able to play chess, all day every day. Chess as metaphor for the British takeover and rule of India. But also chess because these guys love it so much. That's where the comedy comes in.

All of Ray's films can be interpreted on more than one level. This one is a little more straightforward, but very entertaining.

Well, nice lady, you are probably already asleep, and you will be working on your film starting tomorrow. Do I have that right? I think so. I wish you all the best results, and a lot of fun making it. I know you had a blast last year.

So, I will see you in the morn. Sweet Dreams until then.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Good Stuff (digging)

Good Evening, my Baby,

Just getting home, another busy one. Lotsa driving, traffic, etc. That's another nice picture you posted, the one of Hannah. You get great photos of those two sisters. I see there is all kinds of stuff going on today. An event at your school? A bald eagle rescue, very awesome. I also see your post from the veteran's cemetary. I am all for any kind of memorial or tribute to soldiers, that is for sure. So, it looks like you are involved in a lot of activity and events, and good works all around.

They are having an open house this weekend up at a place called the Blackbird Museum in Palmdale, which is on the edge of the Mojave desert about 50 miles from me. The museum is the home to old, mothballed SR-71 planes, the fastest jet the Air Force ever flew (or at least acknowledged). Ever since the US economy crashed in 2008, there haven't been very many airshows or open houses at Air Force bases because of budget reductions. I used to go all the time, twice a year. Now I haven't been to one since 2007 at Van Nuys, which is local, just four miles away. I'd love to go to this one on Saturday, but I've also got the Sabbath concert that night, and I have to be at Pearl's at the usual time, 4:30pm. Maybe I'll try to edge it in there. I've seen the SR-71 before, but it's always fun to see any of the planes.......

Well, usual schedule tonight. I will watch an episode of one of my earliest favorite TV series, from when I was about 5 years old, and which I just got on dvd: "Danger Man", with Patrick McGoohan. Then I'll go for my walk and be back at the usual time.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:15pm : Listening to Schubert. I was reading my "Forbidden Archeology"  book tonight, and I read about something called the Early Wisconsin Glacial Floodplain, where many interesting bones have been found. I am always talking about how neat it would be to drive out to the desert - way, way out, to the middle of it. And, it would also be awesome to see the glacial floodplains in your state, where the ice dug grooves in the Earth as it receeded, and either covered up or uncovered, or transported, the remains of whomever was around when the Ice Age hit. We really don't know much about the Ice Age, or why it happened. For that matter, neither do we know why there is an enormous desert, filled with stunted Joshua Trees, just on the outskirts of an ocean, in an area with mostly moderate temperatures. I love this kind of stuff.

Dad used to say that when he was a boy, he dug up Indian arrowheads in the local, lake-filled and swampy Indiana area in which he grew up. I wish he had kept those.......

Anyway, we both live in interesting areas.

I will see you in the morning.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Busy Day Love (Windy Walk)

Good Evening, my Baby,

A busy day today. Took Pearl to the dentist this morn, Kobedoggie to Northridge Park while she was there, then I took her to Golden Agers, and then shopping after that. So it was a lot of driving around in traffic. But, while I was driving by myself (or with Kobi) I got to play the new Triptykon album, so that part was nice. Man, that is one brutal record. The Kobester likes it too.

This hasn't been the greatest year for concerts, not compared to last year, but for albums it's been great. Alcest, Agalloch, Mastodon, Opeth - all have new records either out already or coming out. I'm sure I'm forgetting some, too. Also, for me at least, I really like the new Linda Perhacs album (the folksinger lady who got me & Grim into the Opeth show last year), and I am having a blast discovering the many solo albums of Bill Nelson, who I was an huge fan of in the 1970s when he was in Be Bop Deluxe. So, there is a ton of new music to listen to, but so far not too many concerts.

But, you have Agalloch coming up. I will be seeing Black Sabbath this Saturday, and I am marginally excited. Only marginally because it's not a real reunion without Bill Ward the original drummer. But, it'll probably be the last chance I ever have to see them, and I haven't seen them since 1978! So that's a 36 year gap, and I am pretty sure it's the longest gap in between concerts for any band I've seen. It'll be fun.

I see that your film project is this weekend, too, you will have fun, too. It'll be a good weekend.

I guess I am gonna relax for a little while, then go for my walk. I'll be back at the usual time.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : Super windy on my walk tonight. I went out in a t-shirt, cause it was still warm in my apartment. Yikes! Not a fan of wind. I'll do hot, I'll do cold to a certain extent, but I can do entirely without wind.

Fortunately, I am ensconced once again, listening to a couple of French Suites by Bach. Had some split pea soup for a late night snack.

I hope your day was good and I'll see you in the morning. I Love You.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Home Stretch (Beaches)

Good Evening, Sweet Baby,

Just getting home from Pearl's, back at work again. Not a busy day, but it was hot out, so I just stayed inside between work shifts. I hope your day was good. You've gotta be in the home stretch now, right? How many more weeks of school - four? Five at most? You're almost done in any case. Then Summer, then Italy! The rest of the year is gonna be quite awesome indeed.

Well, I'm gonna relax for a few, then walk down to the store for part of my daily mileage. Then I'll finish up my walk later on tonight. I just wanted to check in and say I Love You.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

10:45pm : I love the picture of the ice skating couple! That's us - gliding through life together with graceful effort.

I am a little tired tonight, just from the heat and getting up early after all those sleep-ins, but I'll adjust quickly as I always do. I wanna do more road trips, find more nooks & crannys, maybe go to the beach. It's funny, because I live less than 30 miles from the ocean, and yet I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been there in the last ten years. I used to love the beach when I was a kid. My Mom drove us there all the time, to Santa Monica Beach. Dad too. He took us down to San Diego a lot, and Laguna Beach.

I loved to body surf when I was a kid. But I'm not a huge beach person anymore. Back then, you didn't have to worry about being in the sun, or at least we didn't know any better. But also, I don't think I'd have a great desire to wade out into the ocean anymore. It's one thing when you're a kid......

I'll tell you what I'd love, though, and that would be to take you to the beach, and just have a nice walk along the shore. Shoes off, toes in sand. Early evening, sun going down into the water. Maybe in Malibu or Zuma beach. Or Santa Monica.......Laguna.........San Diego.......

We will go.

And, I wanna take some b & w pictures at the beach, and if it was a day trip during a break in my Pearl hours, it would be at Santa Monica. The problem down there is traffic and parking. But I will see what I can do before the end of Summer....

I also wanna get out to Pearblossom in the desert. That one is huge for me, to find the old airplane graveyard out there, where Dad and my Uncle Earl took me when I was eight years old. Gotta find that one.

Your photo of the lightning has inspired me. I so much love black & white. It's not that I don't love color, because of course I do. It's just that nothing beats black and white for setting a mood. Black and White removes the distraction of the color, the word distraction not used in the pejorative sense, but in the literal sense because the beauty of color can dominate an image, whereas black and white is all about the image itself, and the mood of the image, as described by contrast and the gradations of the grey scale.

Look at Ansel Adams' legendary photos of Yosemite. Had they been in color, they'd have had more of a "picture postcard" effect, i.e "pretty". And they'd still be great! But in black and white.......the eye of the viewer focuses entirely on the shapes and shadows of the landscape.

At any rate, I'll stop preaching now, haha. And, I will wish you Sweet Dreams and send you Love, and then I will see you and be with you in the morning.

I Love You, my Darling.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Dog Drumming (Sweet Dreams)

Happy Easter Evening, Sweet Baby,

I'm just getting home from Pearl's, back in the swing of things once again. The Kobedog was glad to see me, even though I saw him twice during my break, but he loves it when we are back in our routine and he gets his Dog Drumming right when I get there, then he eats, then he helps feed the Black Kitty (he helps by barking at her). He loves the routine, and he knows it step-by-step. BTW, just in case you were wondering about Dog Drumming, it's just really fast tapping on the dog, with all fingers but a light touch. You can Drum Your Dog almost anywhere, although the preferred spots seem to be on the top of the head, between the ears, or along the spine, or on the chest and belly if they roll over. Kobedog has gotten to the point where he demands drumming as soon as I arrive. So I do........

My dog Trixie had a groove in the middle of her head, kind of like a loaf of bread. One of her nicknames was "Split-Top" or "Butter-Top", like the bread. I guess it's because she had muscles on either side of the top of her head, and this shallow groove running down the middle. It was funny, because when she chewed her food, the head muscles went up and down and up and down.......

But in her case, those muscles were also the perfect place for Dog Drumming. Nice and soft; a little rubbery.

Well, I must either be losing my marbles or I'm a bit of a kookoobird to begin with, haha.  ;)

I am gonna see what's at Redbox, and if it's not much, as I'm expecting, I'll just finish my book. I'm on the last twenty pages. Then I'll do my walk later. I'll be back at the usual time.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : I am listening to a fantastic pianist by the name of Arturo Michelangeli Benedetti, who was known by his middle name. These Brahms pieces are new to me, but I am immediately hooked by his playing.

I hope you had a nice Easter. I did, and I am somewhat restored after my days off. Intuition is strong now, and the feeling is good. I will see you in the morn. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Happy Easter! (The Dam Busters/Star Wars)

Good Evening, my Darling,

Just checking in to say hi. I had a nice day. Vickie came over with her husband and we went over to Pearl's for a pre-Easter brunch. Everybody had lots of food, and at the end we took the Kobester for a dogwalk. I got back about 3pm and since then I've just been chillin' - reading and playing guitar. Then just now I went on my daytime portion of my walk. I'll finish up later tonight since I've still got one more sleep-in. I hope you had a nice day. Maybe you took some more awesome photos!

Also, I wish you and your family a very happy Easter tomorrow.

I am gonna watch a movie I just got in the mail from Amazon. It's called "The Dam Busters", about the Royal Air Force bombing of German dams during WW2. Yeah, me and my war movies, I know........

But this is a British one, and I haven't seen it, so.........oh boy!  ;)

I will be back in a while at the usual time. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : The movie turned out to be a 10 on all counts, really great. I know that war movies are more of a Guy Thing, but what is interesting about this one - and I didn't know this until checking it out on IMDB after watching it - is that it was apparently a primary influence on George Lucas for "Star Wars", at least the visual sequences of flying low through corridors while dodging flak and counter-firing in return. He is said to have seen this film as a youngster and was so taken with the aerial footage that he adapted it for his groundbreaking film.

I need to watch "Star Wars" again. Believe it or not, I've only seen it once, in the theater when it first came out. In fact, I can remember a preview for it, maybe in late 1976 or early '77, shown before another movie at a theater in the Northridge Mall. Back then, nobody had ever heard of George Lucas. He had made "THX 1138", but that was only moderately recieved, and he had also made "American Grafitti", which was a big hit, but everyone knew that film for it's 1950s nostalgia and it's great cast and story. The young director got lost in the shuffle. But Hollywood must have been watching him, because they gave him a moderate budget to make "Star Wars", and the really big deal about that film, at the time, was that it had Big, New Special Effects, done by a company called Industrial Light and Magic. That's what got all the publicity, was the special effects. I remember when the trailer hit theaters, people kind of went, "well, that looks cool". It was different, and yet it was totally unexpected, because there had been zero pre-publicity about it.

And then, when it finally hit the theaters...........

Wow.

And then after that, the whole world knew who George Lucas was.

I saw it about two weeks after it came out, because my brother - a sci-fi freak - recommended it. My favorite "Star Wars" is "The Empire Strikes Back", to this day some of the best special effects ever seen on screen. And, a great story. But I need to see the original again, and "The Dam Busters" has inspired me to.

Well, there's some movie stuff for you. I hope you had a nice evening.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Happy Friday Evening (Incredible) (A Good Day)

Good Evening, my Darling,

I just got back from a walk. I'm breaking it up into three parts today. I've done two already (one this morn), so I've got one more to go and I'll do it later tonight. I hope you are enjoying the start of your weekend. I was just talking on FB to a guy I grew up with but hadn't seen or heard from in ages. I've known Mike since 1970, when my family moved to the Rathburn St. house in Northridge. We went to school together, and I helped get him a job at the MGM Metrocolor Lab after I started working there in 1979. Mike stayed in the industry; I did not. Also, he moved away many years ago. So, I was fun to see him on FB and catch up a little bit.

I hope all is well. I am thinking about you as always. It's been nice to have a work break, and these sleep-ins. I've still got two more to go, oh boy!  :)

I guess I will look for a movie to watch, but I'll be around in any case.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

8pm : I had to pop in to say, and please excuse my language, but that is One Killer Freaking Picture! My goodness, girl. Really, really, really good. The grey scale is top notch, especially in the clouds. The framing of the trees (or bushes, if they be so). Did you use a tripod or hand held? I figure with lightning, you either have to use an open shutter, which probably wasn't the case because the clouds would have been overexposed, or you have to be in the midst of a lot of lightning, and be waiting once you hear the thunder. Well, however you did it, congratulations, because it's not just a picture of lightning. I mean, it is that - and the capture of the lightning is incredible - but it's also got an amazing grey scale quality, and a painterly quality as well. You really knocked it out of the park. It looks like a dream.

Now you see why I love black and white so much! Great job, Elizabeth. A+ all the way.

(back in a bit)

12:05pm : A late check-in. I've been listening to the St. John Passion for Good Friday. This was an excellent day, I think. I hope you think so too. I will see you in the morn.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

I Love You (and I got my Driver's License renewed, yippee!) (Cinematheque) (Back Home)

Good Morning, Awesome Lady,

I have only been awake since 8:30, but I've already been out to the DMV, passed the visual exam for my driver's license renewal, got my license renewed, and now I'm back home again. That's a practically unheard of experience for the DMV. Usually, you are in there for an hour minimum, more often closer to 90 minutes. But, I had an appointment, and that made a huge difference. So, here I am. Gotta wear my glasses when I drive now.

I'm sorry I didn't write last night. I wasn't doing anything special, just at home watching a movie ("Night Of The Demon", nice cheery fare), but since I didn't hear from you I didn't know if you were trying to tell me something. It's no big deal, so don't worry, and I did see your other posts yesterday and thought maybe they were meant for me.

I have also thought that maybe someone gave you some grief about posting directly to me, on my FB. Maybe that was the original reason for the switch to symbolic communication in January 2013. Back then, I speculated that the Myspace blogs and all the personal info in them might have alarmed someone (parent, friend, anyone else) who read them and knew you were talking to me. Anyway, it's no big deal, like I say, so as long as everything is good, don't worry.

As I say, at first I thought you might be trying to tell me something, just because it was my birthday and all, but then I thought about all the recent posts you've made that I was sure were directed at me, and they were all very loving and of course heart-melting, too. So then I thought, "well, maybe she can't post to my FB, because somebody will give her a hard time". If that's the case, I understand, and again no worries.

But on the chance you were trying to tell me something, you can tell me. I love you no matter what. :):)

You mean so much to me, Elizabeth.

When I got home just now, I saw your post of the family next to what looks like an Eastern Orthodox church. I like the last name, too: Loversky! So I thought maybe that was meant for me. Recent posts of yours also have a travel motif, and we have talked a lot about that, too. Am I interpreting everything correctly? I hope so.  :)

I guess everything is good unless you tell me otherwise. If all is well, then I am happy.  :):)

I had a nice day yesterday. Pearl and her daughter took me out to lunch, to a place called Stone Fire Grill, and I had something I hadn't had in a long time, a Tri-Tip steak. It was really good. Also a nice salad, and carrot cake for dessert. The rest of the day I was just hanging out, over at CSUN looking for pictures, hangin' at the duck pond.

Well, I'll post now so you know I'm here. I am thinking about you, hope you had a great day yesterday and another one today. I still have 3 1/2 more days off, so I'll be around.

I Love You, Very, Very, Much.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back later)

5:45pm : Good Evening, my Darling. I just got back from my afternoon walk, so I am gonna have some tea and hang out for about an hour and then walk down to the Media Building for the CSUN Thursday Night Movie. Usually I am driving home from Pearl's, and I park on the other side of campus so I can make it on time. But this time I will walk from home. It's not too far. Tonight we are gonna see Ray's "The Golden Fortress", which I haven't seen and know nothing about, but of course it should be a good one. Nice to be back at the Cinematheque after last week's break in the schedule. So, I should be home at the usual time, about 10pm, give or take. I hope you are enjoying your evening! I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

I'll write more at the usual time.........

11:30pm : The movie was good. Entertaining would be the word, as this was Ray's version of a Hollywood road movie, sort of an Indiana Jones story of a little boy who draws pictures of a past life, in which he lived in a Golden Fortress. His story is published in a local paper, crooks read of it, and assuming there is such a fortress, they set out to kidnap him to find the treasure he says he has seen. So it wasn't an art film per se, as many of the other Ray flicks have been, but it was fun. It was nice to walk down, unhurried. Having days off rules! I hope your day was good, and in just a few weeks, you will have days off, too, as school will be out.

Sweet Dreams......

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Agalloch in Madison (music)

Happy Tuesday Afternoon, my Darling,
I just wanted to say, "That's Awesome"! about the Agalloch tour dates, because not only are they coming your way, but they are gonna play your hometown! That's right, Agalloch in Madison, June 19th. So get your ticket asap. You won't even have to drive a long way for this one!
I hope your day is going well. I Love You and will be back later.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:35pm : I am listening to Faure. It was really nice to take it easy today, sleep in and do things on my own time. Not that I did much, lol. It was too hot out, and too bright, to go in search of photos. I am glad you are excited about Agalloch. That will be an awesome show, especially because they are touring in support of a new album. And, don't forget they usually have an interesting support act. Last time in L.A. it was Helen Money, and Worm Ouroboros. Agalloch went from never touring to now - touring every year. I don't know what was keeping them, but I guess Don Anderson would rather be a rock star than a college professor, haha.

I have been listening to the new Triptykon, and man is it good. Tom G. has added some melodic elements to the mix, and edited his songs down to a T. They are still around seven to twelve minutes long, so maybe "edited" is the wrong word. Maybe "arranged" is better, because every song is arranged for maximum hypnotic effect, and one song leads to the next. The style is similar all the way through, so it's not anything you aren't expecting. But what it is, is honed. 

And brutal. Tom is the original, nobody makes music like him, though I know he's not for everyone. But, this is his catchiest album yet!

Well, that's all I know for tonight. I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

My Spring Break! (Eclipse)

Good Afternoon, Sweet Baby,

I just wanted to say hi. I've been home since about 11:30. Pearl & I took the Kobedog to Balboa Park this morn, since he didn't get his CSUN walk yesterday. A beautiful day outside. Now I am just hanging out, getting the pad straightened up. It gets out of hand if I don't keep up with it, lol. Usually I do, and as you know I'm a neat freak, but I've been busy for the past few days, so I had a ton of dishes to do, trash to take out, stuff to take to the recycle bin, books and cds to put away. Yikes! But now everything is squared away, just the way I like it.

And I am off until Sunday at 4:30. Don't know what I'm gonna do yet, if anything. The trouble is that nobody's available to do anything, cause they either gotta work, or have kids, or have no money, and any combination of those three. But, I'll just take it one day at a time and see what happens. It's good to have the time off, and especially the sleep-ins (oh boy!).

It will be fun to see the eclipse tonight. I think in the west it hits it's maximum at around 12:45am, so I will make a point to stay up and go outside. For you guys it's later, at 2:45am, but it'll start around 1 or 1:30am, so if you stay up you can at least see some of it.

I guess I will go for part of my walk in a little while. Gotta stop at the store for coffee. I don't have any here because I always drink my morning coffee at Pearl's, so I'd better get some. I hope you are having an awesome day, and I'll be around most of the time until the eclipse.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:15pm : Are you staying up to see the eclipse? I just now saw the start of it while out on my walk. It's pretty cool. They have the dome opened up at the observatory in the Orange Grove. It would have been neat to see it through the telescope. I am hoping the Moon won't move too much farther west by midnight, because then I'll be able to see the full eclipse from out my window, instead of having to go back outside, haha. I'll soon find out......

I hope you had a good day, and that school and all projects are going well.

Well, the Moon's almost half covered now. I'll go check again in a little while.

I Love You, Elizabeth. Sweet Dreams.......
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Opera at VPAC (Disneyland)

Good Evening, my Baby,

I had a fun afternoon. My sister found out about a free show at the VPAC, something billed as "Great Choruses" by the LA Opera. It was general admission seating, so we got there a little early and wound up front row center. The musicians were a pianist, the 30 chorus members, three soloists from LA Opera, and it's director, a guy named Grant Gershon who was also the conductor. It wasn't a long show, just 45 minutes, but it was fun. We heard Verdi, Puccini, Bizet, Mozart and Donizetti, and there were two audience sing alongs : to "The Anvil Chorus" from "Il Trovatore" and "Toreador Song" from "Carmen", so you know I was belting it out.......(not!)  But I did sing. :)

Vickie is an opera fanatic, and I am a fan, too, as you know. And, it's always fun to go to the VPAC. Now I'm gonna unwind a bit, and then I've gotta do most of my walk, because I only got about a mile in so far. Didn't have time to take Kobedog to CSUN......

I hope you had a nice day! Maybe you took some more photos? Something fun, for sure.

Well, I'll be back in a little while, at the usual time. I Love You!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : I don't know why Dusik, or Dussek, whatever the spelling, is not more famous, as this sonata is fantastic.

After tomorrow morning, I am off until next Sunday evening. I wanna go to Disneyland. I haven't been there in three years and I'm getting desperate! Wanna go with me? I'll pay, I'll drive. I've just gotta go, but I can't go by myself.......

It'll be a fun and relaxing week, regardless. And it was great to hear the opera choruses today. I hope your day was good, too.

But I need you to go to Disneyland with me.

I Love You, my Angel.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Sweet Dreams.

Magic (Great Day)

Good Evening, my Darling,

That was another excellent picture you posted this afternoon of your friend Molly. You have such good lines in that one - the curving lines of her hair and the straight and diagonal lines of where her knees and arm meet. I've said it before, but you really know how to pose your subjects. In this case, you also took the photo from an interesting mid-to-low vantage point, so that the viewer is looking slightly up while the subject is looking downwards. It's just really good, and she is another good photographic subject for you.

For me, my trees are my people, lol, and I do try to bring out the "personality" in each tree......

Today was busy : driving the Kobedoggie out to Kingdom Come, which is actually located in Canoga Park, to Le Groomer for his monthly styling. Then I met my sister for shopping. This time we were accompanied by my nephew (her son) Ali, who used to come over every weekend when he was little. Now he is 18 already! My goodness.

I did my afternoon walk, too, so I will finish up later on as usual. It's been a great week for pictures & projects. I loved the philosophy of the artist in this morning's Taya Iv post! I agree completely, as you know, with the idea of throwing out the baggage of beliefs, preconceived notions, etc, not only when it comes to art but for life in general. She is so right : "if you think it's gonna be a struggle, then it will be"! Exactly!- to repeat my comment of this morning. Some of the "art guerilla" types not only have this philosophy, but celebrate it, as if the struggle were part of the art, or the artistic process. I think if that is really the way a person sees life, and it is genuine to them (and not a pose), then it's an authentic stance and I won't criticize it. But it's totally alien to me, which is why I don't care for political art (or I should say politicized art), or politics in general. I don't like the way beliefs can separate an artist from the magic in the world. With any type of social belief, you are causing a separation in your life, an us vs. them or me vs. the world philosophy, and such an artist will be filtering everything they do through that belief system.

I like to see art as between The World (meaning The Hugeness Of Life) and me. So I am looking for The Magic, always. The Magic doesn't take sides; it just Is.

And quite the opposite of arising from a struggle, The Magic appears with ease. You just have to want it, and to look for it, and you will find it.

Art, to me, is all about celebrating the Incredible Magic of Life. So I loved that quote this morning.

Well, I am gonna either find something at Redbox (though it's getting a little late in the evening for that) or read some Joe F. Then I'll finish my walk later. Then I'll be back.

I'm glad your photo came out so good!  I Love You, Elizabeth.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : I just finished listening to the Cortot, and now I am listening to a sonata by an 18th century composer named Jan Dussek, who I'd never heard of before. Great stuff. It was chilly out tonight, I had to wear my heavy Rolling Stones jacket on my walk. Thought I was done with jackets for the year......

Now I am super-tired, can't wait for my sleep-ins! So I will see you in the morn. Today was an excellent day!

I Love You.  Sweet Dreams, my Angel.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

TGIF + Love (Renting)

Good Evening, my Baby,

Happy Friday night, and TGIF too. I hope you are enjoying the start of your weekend. I came home 45 minutes ago and promptly fell asleep, haha. It's the end of a work cycle, so tiredness has set in, but I'll get my second wind hopefully in a few minutes here, so I can finish my walk. Typical day, nothing special, but I just wanted to say hi. Two more days for me, and then six days off.

Well, I'm gonna try to wake up here. I will be back later at the usual time.
I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:25pm : Listening to Cortot playing Schumann. I'm adding more of my favorite movies, and some books that I've read, to Facebook. I know the books are all weird, lol. With movies, I've been adding a lot of horror, but I love all kinds, as I've said. So I will add other genres, too.

It's hot and humid tonight, so on goes the air conditioner. I am grateful for my apartment, but man, I wanna get a bigger living space. Wanna move in with me? It's funny in L.A., it's almost cheaper per person to rent a house with at least one other person than it is for a single person to rent an apartment. What's really funny, but true, is that I live in a very small apartment, but my rent (800) is more than a lot of monthly mortgage payments on houses in other parts of the country.

No complaints, just observations. But I really do wanna move into a bigger unit.

I hope your day was good. I will see you in the morn.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)

A Beautiful Day, Both Here & There (Pictures)

Good Morning, my Darling,

I just wanted to wish you a happy and fun day, and to say I love this morning's picture of the two surfers. It's a beautiful scene, and even though I've never surfed, I love the ocean. But do you know what that picture reminds me of? Maybe you do.

It reminds me of :):). Because that's what the surfers are doing. So they must have been thinking of us.

I would love to go to the beach with you! And we will. Fun things are happening, and will happen in the future. I am so glad the weather has warmed up for you, and that it's nice out again. If you are having fun days, that makes me happy.  :)

Pearl and me and Kobi just got back from Balboa Park. We've been going there for dogwalks a lot lately, cause it's beautiful (and also to avoid our homeless burglar buddy, who still seems to be around, though less and less, which is a Good Thing). So, it's a nice day both here and in Middleton, and I am thinking of you.

There is no CSUN movie tonight because of Spring Break. I am gonna take Pearl to the hair salon in a few minutes, and then I'll be around, here or there, for most of the day.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:10pm : Listening to Poulenc. His solo piano work is quite good, I think. Not complex, but evocative like a painting. Tonight my friend Ryan came over. He just bought a bass and wanted me to show him some fundamentals. Back in 1982, when I was practicing all day long in my room at home, Ryan used to ask if he could come over and watch. He was 11 then. Now he's 43! But it's never too late to start, as I told him.

Other than that, my evening was usual. I hope your day was good. That was a good picture you posted this eve, the self-portrait of the lady. One thing I don't care for about my cam, and digital/automatic photography in general, is that I can't adjust the focus! I like how she achieved an out of focus focal point of the leaves and branches (if that's what they are) in the foreground, with her image diffused through that. With everything being auto focus nowdays, I can't take a diffused focus pic even if I want to. My late friend Dave was great at that. I would not have thought of it if it weren't for him, but the way his mind worked, he would adjust the focus to be purposefully blurry sometimes, with fantastic results. I think, and once again here we go with intent, that when you want to take such a photo, you have to have that inner meaning intended before you take the shot. You don't necessarily have to know what you are after, but you have to know you are after something. Some inner meaning. In other words, I don't think you can just say, "oh, I'll unfocus the camera here". You have to mean it, to intend it. Just like a guitar solo. You have to mean it, or it's just a bunch of notes.

You have a pic, a b&w macro shot of what looks like reeds or pistels of flowers, and it is mostly soft focus, shallow depth of field, with maybe a small section in focus. I love stuff like that.

Well, it was a good day. I wish you sweet dreams, and you know I love you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

I Love You :):) (A Good Day)

Good Afternoon, my Baby,

I saw your posts, and I guess everything is okay then? I am glad, because I Love You and I Want You and I Need You. :):) You make me happy. It was a busy morning. I took Pearl to a Reseda Women's Club meeting, then took Kobi to Reseda Park, where we saw Canada Geese, beautiful birds that look like a cross between a duck, a quail and a goose. They fly down here from Canada and end up staying. After the park, I dropped the Good Boy off and drove up to Sylmar, a town at the North end of the Valley. They have a museum there called The Nethercutt Collection, which is a collection of old, restored cars. We are talking very old, like way back to the early 1900s. Ono's Dad had a car that they donated to this museum, and it has been totally restored. I will post some pictures on FB.

But I wanted to say hi first. I liked the cherry blossoms in the photo of Japan. They are now blooming here too, at Balboa Park, and they are beautiful. I Love You, Elizabeth.

I'm gonna go over my photos and post a couple before I head back to Pearl's. I will write more this evening. I hope your day has been a good one.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

(back in a bit)

10:30pm : I'm writing a little earlier than usual, just to say hi and see how you're doing. It's warm and muggy outside tonight. I did my whole walk all at once since I was at the museum this afternoon. It's been fun going on my little day trips again, and it was fun to see the cars. I hope your day was good and that all projects are proceeding in excellent fashion. Now I am gonna look for some nice piano music to listen to.

I Love You and will see you in the morning.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Just Wondering How You're Doing

Hi Elizabeth,

I am just getting home. A busy day, I drove out to Glendale while Pearl was at Golden Agers, to take my sister Sophie shopping. Lots of driving in traffic, so I am glad to be home. I hope you are alright and that you had a good day. I am thinking about you. I guess you haven't been reading because there's still zero blog views since last Thursday or Friday, although when I initially post a blog, a different stat counter usually shows a "pageview". I don't know how it works, non-technical me. So it'll show a pageview, and in the past, up to last Friday or so, the blog counter also shows a view on the blog I most recently posted. So when I would post, it would show a "pageview" (whatever that means) and an individual blog view, with the title of the blog. For the last few days it just shows "pageviews" (when there is one) but no individual blog views at all.

I know you might be mad at me, and I know also (because you have said so) that sometimes you don't feel like interacting with anyone, and if you don't feel like interacting with me right now, I understand. But, I hope you know that I wasn't being critical of you or your friends in any way. I was just wondering where I stood in relation to them, that's all. I obviously realise that they are your friends, people you know in "real life", and who live nearby and with whom you interact in person. They are your friends. But I had just figured that we had established something special, too, and that I was more than just a guy on Facebook. I still think that, too, because I know you care about me, and whether you read or not, and whether you wanna interact with me or not, I still love you.

Right now, I don't entirely understand what's happening, because you did make a couple posts a on FB within the last few days that I thought were probably meant for me, including the Matthew Crowley picture and caption, and also your photo of the prairie burn.

I guess what I'll do for the moment is just kinda be on standby, and if you feel like posting, or reading, I will be right here. I'm not going anywhere, and it's impossible for me not to love you and care about you, so I'll be here and on FB, as usual. As I said, I don't fully understand what is happening, and if it is something drastic, like you are tired of me, you can tell me and I will understand. But if it's just that you don't feel like interacting at the moment, which happens from time, that's okay too, and I will be here when you want to resume communication.

In a nutshell, I'm here, I love you, and I'll wait for whenever you feel like reading and posting. And as always, I'm on my usual schedule, until next Monday when I get 6 days off (oh boy!).

I hope your film is coming out well.

I Love You, Elizabeth.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Monday Night Love (Please Let Me Know)

Happy Evening, Awesome Lady,

I don't know if you are still reading these, because the last few posts show zero views. Maybe it doesn't count the views from a mobile device, if you are using one, or if you have it bookmarked. I have no idea how any of that stuff works, so maybe you are still reading. Sometimes there will be a pageview listed in the overall views, but the latest post remains at zero. Prior to the last few days, all 200+ blogs have at least one view next to them, but the last three have zero. I know you've been super busy, and I wouldn't blame you if you weren't reading, or didn't have time. Anyway, I'll keep writing for the time being and see what happens. Back in the Myspace days, I was always writing "to myself", even though it was projected out into the world, and I like to do that, too - to just write about any old thing - but I have also loved writing to you, especially as this has become my end of our means of communication. At any rate, I hope you are still reading, and I will keep writing. I wrote at Myspace for a while when it didn't look like anyone was reading (aww, shut up already, Ad....)  :)

Okay, that's better! I figure you are just busy with school and your film project. Nothing special to report today except that it was hot. Summer can arrive at any time in the Valley, and it looks like we've got a few days of 90plus temperatures. I love it, but it takes a little getting used to. It was a beautiful day, though, and I hope it was for you, too. I see that Stephane got accepted at Princeton. Now that's impressive. That's as prestigious as it gets, so congrats to him. I'm sure you're proud of him but at the same time sorry to see him move away, but you can always keep in touch, and if his family lives in Middleton, he will no doubt come back when school is not in session. I say all this sincerely, because I know he has been important in your life.

But you are taking off, too, in all your artistic pursuits and your life's ambition. It wasn't long ago you thought you might be resigned to an academic cubicle, and now look at you! You are going for what you want, and of course that's the only way to go. Well, I'm gonna relax for a bit and then proceed with my walk and the workout-I-don't-enjoy-but-do-anyway-because-it's-good-for-me. It's only a fifteen minute workout, but it works! (and I still don't like it). I'll be back later.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:20pm : The last four posts, including tonight's, have zero views, so maybe you are trying to tell me something. Please know that it's not easy for me to have to guess at this. Well, I will try again tomorrow. I have always written, through thick and thin, but if you don't want me to write anymore please let me know.

Thanks.  :):)

A "Picture"esque Day (xoxoxoxoxo)

Good Evening, my Baby,

That was cool, we were both out taking pictures today. When you say you filmed the fire, I guess you mean you videoed it, too. More interesting imagery to add to your collection. Was that controlled burn near your town or out in the boondocks? I know they do those here, too, out in the mountain and canyon areas where most of our wildfires start. It was a busy day, then, for both of us. My sister came over today for shopping, and before that I took the Kobester to CSUN. Then I went out to the Chatsworth Nature Preserve from 2-3:30. I met my friend Dave and his daughter there. We had fun walking around, taking pictures. Then I went across the road to another little park called Chatsworth Oaks, and stayed until it was time to go back to Pearl's. Now I need a rest, so I'm gonna take it easy, maybe watch an X-File, and finish my walk at 8:30.

I am glad you are doing so much with your camera, both still and video. It's so awesome now that the weather has changed up there, and the days are warmer and longer. I hope your day was not only good but exciting and interesting, too. It's been fun for me to get back out in the Chatsworth area, too, and I still wanna do some other mountain areas in other parts of the Valley, and roads and trails, too. So, fun times ahead for both of us.

I am gonna relax for a bit, and I'll be here til 8:30 or maybe 9pm, then my walk, then back.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

11:25pm : A relaxing end to a busy day, listening to Rachmaninoff. I wish you sweet dreams, hope your film is coming along well.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Sounds Like An Action Film (Doggonnit) (films)

Hey, my Girl,

Wow, be careful on set! Sounds like you guys need a grip, or maybe even a stunt coordinator or explosives expert, lol. Part of Hannah's house fell down? My goodness. I hope it was nothing too serious. But be careful with your hands in all seriousness. You say you almost lost your fingers, which means you didn't, but I also hope you didn't hurt them in any way, no sprains, cuts, etc. And, I hope your film is proceeding well.

My sister never came over today, so I was just hanging out. I am just getting home and I see that it's neck and neck for the Badgers and Kentucky. So go Badgers! I will try to tune it in on my lousy reception TV, and if I can't get it I'll find it on the radio. Then I'll check back in later with congratulations!

Usual schedule, as usual.........

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

8:30pm : Aww, man........

That sucks. I'm sorry.

But the Badgers sure battled back after getting behind early in the second half. It was a great game, for sure, and it looked like they might have had it in the bag. But they definitely put UW on the college basketball map. They will be known for more than just football now. Well, I will go for my walk and be back in a little while.

11:15pm : Posting a few more film favorites from over the years. The one called "Time Out" I only saw once about ten years ago. But it really made an impression. "I Confess" is a favorite, and Montgomery Clift is one of my favorite actors. And "Monsieur Hire" is a truly creepy and weird little film, but totally artistic. It's a hidden gem from about 15 years ago.

That's all I know for tonight.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)

Happy Friday (Purple)

Good Evening, Nice Lady,

Happy Friday night. I'm just chillin' at home. Nothing fancy today, but we did see a gopher at Balboa Park. He kept popping his little head in and out of his gopher hole. I stood real still so as not to scare him away. He was cute, two little buck teeth, beady eyes. We were fortunate not to see The Guy today. No sign of him, so maybe the cops chased him away. I hope you had a good day.

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)

11:15pm : Listening to Rachmaninoff. I can't believe Beethoven and Mozart finished #1 & #2 in the KUSC Playoff Bracket, ahead of Bach at #3. I like Beethoven, especially his piano sonatas, and I like Mozart and can appreciate his greatness, even though his stuff has a non-emotional quality that doesn't move me the way the music of the other great composers does. But Bach is so over-the-top outstanding in every respect......

Chopin was #4. I'd put him ahead of Mozart, too. Mozart was an original and supreme genius, but I just don't hear a lot of emotion in his music. It's all elegance, influenced by his idol Haydn. But don't get me wrong : I do like Mozart. I just don't love him the way I do with Bach.

I found some purple potatoes at the store and tried them out. Not too different in taste from regular potatoes, but being purple they are supposed to have a lot of antioxidants and micronutrients, so I am happy.

Hope your evening was good. I will see you in the morn.  xoxoxoxoxo  :):)

An Unnerving - But Reassuring - Update (Film Print) (Temps & Movie)

Good Morning, my Darling,

Our homeless friend came back this morning. I got to Pearl's at 7:30, got her breakfast ready and was feeding Kobi and Black Kitty when the doorbell rang. I walked back around through the dining area and looked through the window, and I could see the guy out by the gate. He was moving back and forth across the driveway, trying to see if he could see us in the house, through the same window. "Oh brother, here we go again".

I went outside to talk to him across the fence. Me : "Hey, how's it going", said in a flat tone of voice, no emotion.

He asked me if I could drive around the corner, to give his "Mexcan friend" a jump start. I wanted to end the encounter, so I very quickly said "yes", then, "does he have cables"? I am not a large person, but I am quick, and I have my own body language to show impatience, or to let someone know when they are overdoing it.

As I said yesterday, I do have compassion for someone down on their luck, but you could tell this guy is a manipulative person. What I do in a situation like that is to turn off all charm, and turn on, to the max, the flat politeness. Rushed and businesslike. "Okay, where's your friend at. Let's jump start him". Got my baseball cap and shades on, no expression. Don't F with me, in other words.

I went back inside to let Pearl know he was back, that I was going around the corner to jump start his friend's car. When I came back out, he was nowhere in sight. So, I slowly backed the car out of the driveway and went down to the corner, about 25 yards away. Pearl lives on a corner lot.

I was about to turn the corner when I saw him walking back up the street from the main boulevard below. He was waving at me so I rolled down the window. "It's okay", he said. "His Mom jump started it for him". I just nodded and rolled the window back up, then turned the car around for the short trip back to Pearl's driveway.

I get out of the car, unlock the gate, lock it back up and proceed to the front door, and there he is, coming up the driveway. I didn't say anything, just turned to look at him. Baseball cap, shades, no expression. He is more resigned now because I am showing alertness and impatience. I hate to be that way, but again, I am not a social worker. If you need food, you can go get 200 bucks worth of food stamps per month. Etc., etc. etc. If you need medical, shelter, whatever, you can get it. But you've gotta be willing to surrender and stop manipulating people. I know the system sucks, shelters must suck on wheels, all that stuff must suck. But what could suck worse than homelessness? If I was homeless, I'd do whatever I had to to get out of that situation.

I know, I know - easy for me to say. And I don't mean to judge. But I've been homeless before, for four whole days when I was using drugs in 1997. It's a long story and I think I've told you some of it. One day I will tell you all of it if you want, it's not lurid or anything, just kinda weird and dumb. But I was homeless for four days because I was higher than a kite and coming down, and I'd been on speed for a while and nobody would talk to me. I kept going to my Mom's apartment and ringing the bell, so I know where this homeless guy is coming from, at least a little bit. In my case, my Mom and family wanted to pull a Tough Love on me. Mom wouldn't answer her bell. So, I slept at the CSUN baseball field for four nights. Went to the Methodist Church for sandwiches and cookies. On the fifth day, I was getting pretty dirty. I finally found Mom down at the McDonalds's at Nordhoff and Reseda. I was not high anymore. And, I'm not a criminal, nor do I have that mentality in any way. My friend and I were a different kind of speedfreaks : we got high and did art, or wrote, or took photos of the earthquake. My life was messed up, because that's what will happen if you do speed for any length of time (and of course I highly recommend never taking any drugs at all, including pot), but other than that, I was never of the criminal or down-and-out mentality. And it is a mentality. In my case, Mom did agree to help me out that day at McDonalds. She took me in, and I've never taken any drug of any kind since then, nor will I ever, and it's hard for me to believe I once had that desire, so thoroughly is it out of my system. That, in part, is what my four days of homelessness did for me. Scared the living daylights out of me, enough so to totally motivate me to turn my life around.

But like I say, it's kinda apples and oranges because I never had the criminal, down-and-out mentality. This guy does, and God Bless because I don't know his story or troubles, but still - he sat at Pearl's table yesterday and went through all his recent criminal history and jail time. I mean c'mon, I'm sorry you're having trouble, but maybe if you stopped breaking into people's homes........

Oh yeah, but I forgot: the cops framed him.

Well, back to the story. As I was heading to the door, having locked the fence, there he was. "Hey. Do you think you could ask Pearl if she could throw a job or two my way, gimme a couple or three bucks? Maybe I could wash those windows"? Meaning the ones he'd been trying to look into to see if we were home.

In a low voice, I muttered, "I'll ask". Then I walked quickly into the house, and closed and locked the door.
Me: "Pearl, have you got five dollars"? Pearl: "What do you need it for"? Me: "I just wanna get rid of this guy". I wasn't trying to be cheap myself, it's just that I only had a twenty in my own wallet. Pearl opened her purse and did indeed have a five. She handed it to me.

Back out front, I walked briskly over to the fence and handed the folded-up five across to the man, muttering "here you go" as softly as I could. Baseball cap, shades, no expression. "Here you go", meaning "please don't bother us anymore". I mean, most homeless people stand or sit in front of stores. This guy comes to your door and asks for your keys. Then he comes in and tells you his criminal history, all the houses that he didn't burgle, that he was framed for, and also the ones he did burgle, but never in his own neighborhood.

I took Pearl to the dentist shortly after that. While she was there, I took the Kobester up to Northridge Park. It's a very large, wide open green space, acres and acres of grass and a beautiful baseball field put up by the Dodgers organisation, a "Dodger Dreamfield" as they call it. Northridge Park is right across the street from the Devonshire Division Police Department of the LAPD. During my drug days, I actually became a big fan of the cops. My Dad called them on me so many times. I've told you that story, too. It was always for non-stop talking or music playing, or general speeded-out weirdness. Dad was usually pretty hammered himself when he called them, so the cops never took him too seriously. They would always come out, talk to me, and straighten things out. They never once busted me for drugs, even though they caught me with meth five times. It's a long, long story, nothing horrendous. But during that period I became a fan of the police. They've got a very tough job, and despite some bad apples in the department, of which there have certainly been a few, most police officers are indeed any city's Finest. As Grimsley once said, "Hey, if you don't like the cops, next time you're in trouble, try calling a Hippie, see what he can do for you"........

While I was with Kobi at Northridge Park, I noted the nearby Devonshire Division and said a silent "Thank You" for the police.

Back at Pearl's at 10am, we had a short break before she had to go to the hair salon, where she is right now. I closed the curtains in the dining area, so if the guy returned he wouldn't be able to see in the window. As we were backing out of the driveway to go to the hair salon, I described to Pearl the quiet but brusque manner I'd used with the man earlier this morning. I said, "I hope he will get the message and leave us alone now. I'd hate to have to call the cops on him". And I really meant that. The guy is not Public Enemy #1 or anything. But he may not know when to quit.

We backed out of the driveway, and I mentioned "not wanting to call the cops" to Pearl, and as I looked in my rearview mirror before backing out all the way, there was a Police Car, right behind me. Black-and-White, LAPD. The most well-known Police Force in the world. He wasn't in our driveway, but going down our street, verrrrry slowwwwly, with yellow lights flashing. He was looking for someone.

"Hmmm", I said to Pearl. "Isn't that a coincidence. I didn't want to call them, but maybe someone did". I have little doubt they were looking for our friend. The police know who's who, especially when the person has an extensive criminal history.

I can't say I'd be glad if the guy went back to jail. I sincerely would not wish that on him, and the cops probably just wanted to talk to him anyway. Maybe to stop him from pestering people.

But if he did go back to jail, I can't say I'd be surprised. A little relieved, too.

I've gotta go pick Pearl up now. I'll be back before tonight's movie. I Love You.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

5:05pm : Good Evening, my Baby. I'm writing from Pearl's. All quiet on the Homeless Guy front. I saw your friend Lucy's photo a while ago, and it's excellent work, good grey scale, framing, she didn't cut the corners off her light patterns. Good stuff. I am wondering what she meant by "scanned print"? Does she mean scanned for the computer? I am assuming the print itself was developed in a darkroom, as stated, using basic photo chemicals (Developer/Stop Bath/Fix). She probably just means she scanned it in order to put it on FB. Anyhow - film! I love film, and I especially love black and white film and the printing/enlarging process, and if you haven't done any yet, I hope you get a chance to work with an enlarger, and also to develop your own film. I know it's on the way out as a picture technology, but that's all the more reason to try it while you can. And something tells me that film and film developing & printing, will still be around for a while, at least for aficianados. Too bad that movie film is going down the tubes, but still picture photography should survive a while yet.

Tonight's movie is "Distant Thunder" by Ray. I haven't seen it, so I look forward as always, and I'll be home around the usual time, no later than 10:15pm. For now I'm around till 6:30. Have a great evening.

I Love You!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :):)

11:10pm : I finished the last part of my walk a few minutes ago. A little chilly out tonight, and on weather.com earlier today (it was either today or yesterday) I saw for the first time this year that Middleton's temperature was higher than the temp in Northridge! I hope it keeps climbing. Where do you prefer it? About 75 maybe, or 80? I have only the Valley to go by, and my ideal temp here is about 85, nice and warm with low to moderate humidity. When it gets below 65 at night, I've got long sleeves on outdoors, or even a sweatshirt. But it's funny because my nephews in Santa Monica (Vickie's kids) say "it's hot" when they come to the Valley and it's 85 degrees. To us locals, that's just "nice weather". Hot is over 95. But they live by the ocean, and it's often foggy or overcast, even in Summer. My guess for you is that you like it, ideally, about 72 or so. Or maybe warmer?

Tonight's movie was good, but more of a docudrama than a plotted film with dramatic storyline. "Distant Thunder" is the story of a famine in Bengal in 1943 that killed 5 million people. It was called "the man-made famine" because it didn't have to happen, but the national rice supply was shifted to the front lines of Burma, where the British Imperial government was fighting the Japanese for control of that country. So people starved, and this movie depicts the experience of a Bengali doctor - a Brahmin - who, as a person of higher caste, is entitled to more food than the "Untouchables" and other lower-caste people who are starving all around him. The movie is basically one scene after another of the characters' search for rice, and the Doctor's guilt at having it available to him. But soon it's available to no one, and the populace is reduced to eating snails and bitter wild leaves. It's not a dramatic movie but more of a "this is what happened" film. So it was good, and effective, but it doesn't blow you away like Ray's masterpieces, ala "The Music Room" or "Pather Panchali". But any Ray is Good Ray, I am discovering.

I hope your evening was good. I am still having fun adding movies, books, shows to my FB, so maybe I will add one per night for a while, of my favorites. Just for something to do.

That's all I know for tonight, my Angel. I will see you in the morn. Sweet Dreams until then......

I Love You.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Sigh. All Is Well, It's Just Life. I Love You.

Hi Elizabeth,

I wanted to start fresh with a new blog to say goodnight with. I just want you to know that everything is okay, with me at least. I think it's great that you are working on your projects and that you are excited about them. That's the way it should be, and I always loved having a creative project too, and it often involved friends. So I know the feeling. Sometimes it's just a little tough for me, because of my schedule, and having to be "on the go" a lot (driving in traffic, back and forth), and though I am grateful for my job - and it is a great job because it affords me free hours here and there to be creative myself - it's also a little constricting because I am with one person very much of the time, and because of the situation, it is not conducive to exhilarating conversations. Such is the lot of the caregiver. I have to provide the conversation, and the uplift as well. When you caregive, you have to boost the situation because you are dealing with an elderly person. So you have to be always "on".

But anyway, I am not knocking it because this job has been a huge blessing for me. It's just that, as any caregiver will tell you, you've really gotta maintain an equilibrium in your life, in all ways (physical, emotional, mental) to stay at your best levels. And, I think I usually do.

So no worries. To paraphrase Cyndi Lauper, (Guys) Just Wanna Have Fun, and that's all I am trying to do sometimes, just have some fun, or to be part of the fun. I love new stuff, which is why it's great for me to find a new photo op, or when bands are touring, or when I've got a great book to read. I've learned to do a lot of things solitary, because I had a select gang of friends as a younger man, and, not to cast aspersions on anyone, but things change, and my best friend died, others moved away, some got married and divorced, and very few have "remained standing", meaning still intact they way they were as young people. I won't say any of my old buddies are burnouts, because that's not true, but they have their own lives, and interests, and they don't always coincide with my own. Some of my friends don't have any money and don't go to concerts. I love to still go, every chance I get. I love to go to Disneyland, too, but it's at the point where my sister, the only person who ever wanted to go to Disneyland with me, doesn't wanna go much anymore. She doesn't feel she has the energy, and it's also expensive. Disneyland is the one place you really can't go by yourself; it's an experience that must be shared.

I'll stop whining now. It's just that I have remained (or retained would be a better word) The Kid inside me, and I love to Do Stuff, to be Part Of Stuff. I've gotten used to doing everything myself, and I can do it......

.......and I still do find something interesting in each and every day. When I write blogs about being grateful and blessed - those are from the heart and not phony-baloney in any way. I guess I'm an introvert in a lot of ways, but an extrovert, too. I just like to be part of What's Happening. Anyway, so that's my spiel for tonight.

I tried to fix my Facebook back to the way it was, at least somewhat, but what I did was to add some movies and books and TV shows to my profile, to my "likes". I had fun doing it, because when I started on FB in 2008, I only filled in that stuff haphazardly. Now I will do it more seriously, a little bit at a time. And I will try to fix the photos, too.

I hope you are feeling okay. Don't worry about anything, everything is good, on my end at least. Man, that was a weird situation we had this morning at Pearl's! If you read my other blog today, you know what it was. Spooky, but manageable. Well, I will say goodnight now, and I'll wish you sweet dreams as always.

I'll see you in the morning, and it's always a given, on any day or night, that I love you with all my heart.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

It's Me

I suppose I might as well keep writing while I am in the groove, even though that last blog was very long. You've probably noticed in the last couple days that my Facebook profile has changed, meaning the privacy settings, and that I deleted some recent photos, too. Last night, I even deleted a dozen or so of these blogs, and now I wish I hadn't done it, but they're gone and I can't get them back. It was stupid of me to do, but I was upset.

Elizabeth, I Love You Very Much. I have since Day One, as you know. I repeat it so much that it probably becomes monotonous, but it's the truth all the same. Lately, though, I have been feeling like a fifth wheel, like a hanger-on between you and your friends. They all seem like good guys in every respect, and highly intelligent and talented guys, too, but I am wondering if you want me in your life as compared to them. Sometimes it seems all your conversation is directed to Brian and sometimes the guys at Megatone. I know you post things for me, too, and fairly often. Your posts are very loving, and I love to see them, but the fact remains that I haven't had any direct communication with you in a long time. In September it will be two years. I remember how much fun we had in Spring and Summer 2012, at least I sure did. Our conversations were the most exciting and wonderful thing that had happened to me in decades, and meeting you lit up the world for me, and of course it changed my life. Ever since that time, every day - literally - has seen me thinking of you, and writing to you. I write and write, every day (or 99.9% of days). I know, and I've mentioned several times, that my writing is often repetative, or maybe too "out there", and I realize it's not always the most interesting thing in the world. I am not the wittiest, or quickest with a joke, but what I have tried to do is to dig deep, to give you my whole heart. To love you is to give you everything I've got. I don't know any other way.

In the beginning, though, we had conversations that I thought were lively, about all kinds of stuff. Pretty much any subject. It's one of the reasons we hit it off so well. Then, in September 2012, something happened. Whatever it was I still do not know, and don't need to, unless you ever wanted to tell me. Then we developed our current form of communication, and I have been willing to continue to use it for as long as necessary. But because it is not direct, it is hard to ask direct questions, and to get direct answers. For instance, like yesterday, when you posted the nice photo of the engaged couple, I could wonder if you meant it straightforwardly, as in: you consider you and I to be engaged. Or I could wonder, because it was April Fool's Day, if you meant it ironically. Normally, of course, and especially in the past (like last year), whenever you made such a post, I had no doubt about it's meaning. But by yesterday morning, because there was some tension in the air, I wasn't certain. And I can't ask you directly about it, except via a blog. The thing is, I've never had an actual conversation with you about the way we feel for each other. I have, however, tried to put my own feelings into words on a nightly (if sometimes repetitive) basis. Because if you do truly love me, and if you do consider yourself engaged to me (even if it's just in the general sense), I want to never leave you in doubt about how I feel, or ever let the conversation lag in that regard. It is a fact that things drift, in relationships, when there are extended or continued lags in conversation.

Like I say, though, so don't get me wrong, you have posted many, many very loving things to me, sweet enough to melt my heart. That is true, and my heart is permanently melted as a result.

But I remember back to when we used to talk directly, and we used to talk about art, and music, and photography and all kinds of stuff. I know I was a "drill sergeant" in some of those conversations, because you were recording, and I didn't really know what the aims were, and I had just met you. So we were getting to know one another, and there were some bumps. But still, those conversations were great, I thought.

Then, we had our period from October 2012 to January 2013 where we had no communication. Sometime in the interim, I noticed that you had a new friend, Brian. Perhaps you've known him all your life, I don't know. He seems like a supremely good guy, and I know he's married, so don't get me wrong on either count. I only mean it at face value, that I saw he was your friend, not just on FB but who also lived nearby. Also during that time (Oct. 2012 to Jan. 2013), you started recording at Megatone, and you became close friends with the guys there. Again, good guys all. I remember when you were home recording, and I even suggested you try doing it at a studio, because it would take the technical load off your shoulders, and I also mentioned several times that I was not the guy to ask about tech stuff, especially modern recording with computer programs and the like.

At any rate, things have gone on, and we've had a good relationship for the most part, despite a few bumps. But every so often, things drift, and lately it seems as I said earlier, that most of your conversation is with Brian, and also, if less so, with the Megatone guys. That is of course fine, and it is your right to talk to whomever and hang out wherever you want. And I know you are very interested in the technical aspect of things, and you can learn a lot from those guys. But it kind of leaves me wondering where I stand, and if you have any interest in me as a person. I know I write about unconventional stuff, esoteric stuff, and believe me when I say that I am aware that it's not of interest to most people. But that's only because I am writing from a one-sided standpoint. You know that I'm also an excellent conversationalist, if I do say so myself, and on practically any subject as well. But when I am just writing one-sidedly, about my day? Well then it's just gonna be the "Daily Details", i.e, "I read this, and I did that, and I think this, and I said that". And a lot of that stuff will just be weird stuff or philosophical stuff, cause that's what I read  about and think about.

I know I am not the world's most exciting guy, nor am I a laugh a minute. But I don't think I'm a crashing bore, either, if given a chance.

I used to go on and on about us being The Art Couple, but sometimes it seems like you've got Brian for your movies and the Megatone guys for your music, and you don't need me. If that's the case, it's okay. No worries. But I'd just like to know where I stand. In previous blogs like this one, I have asked you to put yourself in my shoes, and I will ask you again now: Let's assume we are engaged, as your posts have sometimes alluded to, or at the very least let's say that we've had a rock solid love relationship for almost two years now. The evidence shows this to be true, even though we've never talked about it face to face. Anyway, let's say it's true, and we love each other and are engaged or practically engaged. Now let's say we went to a party together. Please put yourself in my shoes here. How would you feel if I talked to everybody at that party but you? Now, I don't mean "ignored". If we look at Facebook as "the party" (because it's the only place we have two-way communication), it's true that you don't ignore me. Not even close. You post very loving and sweet things much of the time. But if Facebook is "the party", it's also true that you lately, in the last few months or so, spend a great deal of time talking to Brian, and he to you, and to the Megatone guys, and to other heavy metal friends of yours. So it feels like you've got them for your music and movies, and you don't need me. Of course, I know that you also work with all of them on various projects, and that they are in your hometown and I am 2000 miles away. Still, please put yourself in my shoes. What if you had written your heart out to me, about art or philosophy or movies or love or any old thing, but every time we went to a party, I spent most of the time talking to other ladies about those subjects? Even if those other ladies were only my local friends, and even if they were married to other guys, you might still wonder, "how come Adam never wants to talk to me about that stuff? I thought we were engaged"?

I'm just asking you to put yourself in my shoes, just for that part of it. Obviously, in the working world, an actor/photographer/artist works with all kinds of people besides just their spouse (usually, anyway). But those who are spouses still spend the majority of their time in each other's company. Otherwise they don't have much of a relationship, or marriage.

I know we have an age difference. I know you are in school, and also that you've been cooped up a lot in the cold weather, and I know that you wanna go out and have fun. I've always encouraged you to do so. But, like when you went to Montreal, it would be nice - if we really are a couple - to talk about it, so I can have some vicarious fun, too! "Hey, sweetheart, how was your trip? What'd ya do, what did you see"? Isn't that only normal? It would be fun. But instead, I feel like the fifth wheel, looking in from the outside at projects I know nothing about, projects that you are working on with friends who seem closer to you than you want me to be.

Elizabeth, you are such a wonderful person. You know I have loved you from the bottom of my heart, and I've tried to show it every day. I may not be the world's most exciting guy, but I am reliable, haha. You can always count on me in any situation, and you can always count on me to love you and be honest with you. In the beginning, with these blogs, I was very quick to rush in with a "communication solution" whenever we hit a bump in the road. I usually wrote those when I could see that you were upset with me for one reason or another, and I always wanted to explain and iron things out as thoroughly and as quickly as possible.

But this time it's been different, because it's been me who's been feeling upset and being a non-confrontational person, I tend to let things pass, and to hope that they will. But things can drift when one does that, and when they drift too far, it can be hard to put them back in place again.

It was stupid of me to delete those blogs, and the pictures from FB, and to change those privacy settings. I just did it because I was upset, and I will change them back, and replace what I can of what was deleted.

But please let me know if you still want me to write, and post songs, and such. I just want to know where I stand, and what you see in the future, even if it's not yet a totally clear picture. Instead, think of what you imagine in the future. I know it's hard even to do that. But one thing I know that I know more than anything else, and this is soooo true after 54 years: it is very, very good to have someone in this world who truly loves you, and who is not fly-by-night, who does not go any way the wind blows, but who loves you for better or worse, through thick and thin, no matter what. It's very good to have such a person in your life, but I also know, for me at least, that such a love is difficult to find. So we have been lucky that way. But it's the best, and optimal, when two people who love each other also want to be with each other.

You know me, I'm an even-keel guy, and even though I am not super-social myself, I honor and respect that you are. It just has felt like I'm a bystander sometimes, to others that you'd rather talk to, so I'm just venting, is all. Let me know what you think. I still feel the same, of course, and if you love me, need me and want me, I will never let you down.

I Love You, Elizabeth. Thanks for reading all of this. I'll be around most of the day.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  :):)

Unnerving

A very unnerving situation just now. I took Kobi on his morning dogwalk by myself, because Pearl was tired. This was about 9am. I got back to the house at about 9:25, and I was just gonna put Kobi inside, set everything up for Pearl for the afternoon, and then head home. But as I was coming up the driveway, I saw a man at the gate. I thought he might be a solicitor of some type or another, because Pearl gets a lot of those. Mostly, her solicitations come through the mail (for one charity group or another), but some ring the bell at the gate. There is a locked gate that separates the front patio area from the front door. As I got closer, I could see that Pearl was on the other side of the gate, the house side, and she was talking to the man, and handing him something. A set of keys.

I was now right next to them, and I could tell immediately that the man was homeless. He was a large man, about 6'1", 230lbs.

All of this happened within a few seconds. Now he had the set of keys in his hand, and he was saying to himself, "Which one opens this thing"?, meaning the locked gate. Of course my mental wheels are turning, so I reached for the keys in his hand, but in a non-threatening manner. I wanted to diffuse the situation rather than inflame it. Also, I didn't know what the hell was going on.

I kind of asked/took the keys from his hand. "Here, lemme see which key it is", I said. Then I stalled, put that set of keys in my pocket for safe keeping and took out my own set. The man spoke up. "She was just gonna let me in for a minute". "Um, okay", I said. Then : "Can I ask who you are"?

Well, the guy actually gave his full name. At least, it was probably his name. It didn't sound made-up, and he then went on to name a kid that had lived next door to Pearl and her family in the late 60s. "Do you know (the kid) who lived next door"?, he asked both Pearl and me. I actually had known that kid, his first name is Duane. I last saw him in 1967, I told the man. "Oh yeah? Well, he was my best friend", he replied. He then mentioned that he had lived on a nearby street as a kid. He also mentioned that he'd done some handyman work for Pearl in years past. Okay, fine, I thought, though none of that work has taken place in the four years I've been looking after her.

I couldn't just stand there with the dog, and the homeless man was showing no signs of stepping away from the gate, so I took my own key and opened it. I thought I might be able to wait out the remainder of the visit on the front patio. But then I noticed that Pearl had left her front door open when she'd come out to the gate. The homeless man saw it too, and he was a step or two ahead of me.

Me: "Uh, excuse me. Please don't just walk in. What did you say you were here for again"?
Him: "Oh, well Pearl said I could come in and have a cup of coffee".

The thing is that Pearl will say anything to anybody, because she is elderly and doesn't know any better.

The guy looked like he was down on his luck. He looked like you would expect a homeless person to look. His hand had gauze wrapped around it from " a pit bull that bit me when I put my hand through the fence to pet it". Okay.

I am a non-confrontational person by nature, and I always like to think several steps ahead in any difficult situation. Some folks might have put their foot down right there at the gate, and so would have I, had the guy been a 100% complete stranger. But he seemed to know Pearl from years past (before I came on the scene), and he'd correctly named the kid-next-door from 1967, and he'd also given his own name. But mainly, he was aggressive in his manner and physical movement, in his body language. I don't mean violently so, or even threateningly so. He just talked and moved like he owned the joint. I mentally deemed him more or less harmless, and decided the best course of action was to let him in, ask him if he'd like a sandwich or something, and then usher him out, using one excuse or another. "Oh, Pearl! We'd better get going, we're gonna be late for the crafts meeting".

So now the guy is in the house, and he starts asking questions. "So, what's down the hall, the bedrooms"? Then he qualifies it with "oh, yeah. That was the floor plan in our old house, too". Then he mentions again that he used to live on such-and-such street. "Did you say you wanted coffee"?, I said.

"Oh, y'know what? Forget the coffee. Would you mind if I took three or four of those Aleve"? He had spotted the bottle amongst the clutter of the kitchen counter. "Sure, go right ahead", I replied, and offered him the bottle. He opened it and said, "Four or maybe ten. I been sleeping behind the gas station at the end of the alley". I knew which alley he meant. It is at the end of Pearl's street.

So now he was dry-swallowing Aleve, and he sat down opposite Pearl at the kitchen table. He did ask if he could sit down, but he asked-and-sat at the same time. "Oh boy", I thought. "Now what am I gonna do"? It wasn't a situation that warranted calling the cops, or even making a threat. It was just something that needed to be diffused. But now the guy started talking, and boy could he talk. He kept his conversation directed at Pearl, and all his troubles and history came out.

"My truck is in impound"......."I need 900 bucks to get it out"......"the cops framed me for burglary"....."I did ten months in the State Penitentiary"......."I was supposed to complete a program but I couldn't stand living in that place for one more night"......."I'm not a violent person"......."but I once splattered a guy's nose who tried to start some shit with me".

"I don't take drugs, well, maybe a little pot now and then. How 'bout you, Pearl? You ever smoke pot, maybe back in the day? Hehehehehehehe".........."just kidding".

I am standing behind the table they are sitting at. I didn't sit down because I don't know what I need to be ready for. Like I say, I am a pretty good sizer-upper-of-situations, and this did not look to be a violent situation in any way. The guy went on to mention a few other neighbors in the area who have been of help to him, throwing some work his way, odd jobs like painting, etc.

Pearl: "Well, I have Adam to do all that for me".
Him: "Well I could do it, too. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to water the roses".

That shows resentment. Mild resentment, perhaps, because he doesn't know me, but resentment all the same. I have been in some scary situations in my life, so I am very observant when around questionable people.

Still, I thought it best to just stand there, not say too much, and wait it out. The guy was talking, he probably wanted an audience. Let him wind himself down. But keep one hand on my cell in my pocket, in case I need to dial 911. But I didn't think that was gonna have to happen.

The guy went on talking for about 45 minutes. "When I was in prison".......yadayada......."what's that dog's name again"?.......yadayada........"900 bucks to get my truck out".........yadayada. He just talked, there was no trouble. But boy could he talk. And it was mostly about prison and burglaries.

Well, at least he's honest - I thought. If we'd not been home, would he have burgled us? Worse, had I not come back with Kobi when I did, what would've happened if he'd been alone in the house with Pearl? It was almost like he read my mind, because he was going on and on about "the cops framing" him for a local burglary : "And I looked at them and I said, 'honestly - do you guys honestly think I'd burglarize a house in my own neighborhood, where everybody knows me"?

He asked the cops this while they were framing him. I think he was also trying to tell me, very subtly, "don't worry, I'm not gonna burglarize you". Gee thanks!, I thought.

Well, I thought he would never leave. I even tried twice to use the "crafts meeting" excuse. "Pearl, we'd better call June to see what time that meeting starts". But Pearl didn't understand what I was trying to do, so she answered honestly, "No, there's no meeting today. They cancelled it". Great. Thanks, Pearl.

But after 45 minutes, the guy was running out of gas. He asked a couple more times if there were any jobs he could do. Pearl said again that I am the guy who does them all. I could see again the mild resentment in his eyes, but it was only mild, and he was resigned now. Time to go.

"Well, I guess I'll head back now, try to catch a few winks in the alley".

He asked if he could pick a few roses on the way out, "for my girlfriend". I went and got the garden clippers out of the shed real fast, "sure, no problem. Cut however many you like". He cut about four.

Of course, we all feel sorry for homeless people, but there is help. There's food stamps and programs and shelters. Of course, once someone is institutionalised and homeless, it is often virtually impossible for them to change that lifestyle. I am not a social worker, just a caregiver for an elderly lady, and I do the best I can.

After the man was gone around the corner, I locked the gate, went back in the house, and let Pearl know, quietly but firmly, the dangers of letting strangers into her house, or even answering the door to them.

I will call and check on her in a little while.

It's been a rough couple of days, and I didn't sleep a wink last night, but this helped me to put things into perspective, and I will try to write more in a while.